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Here's what I need to do: 1. Get Hobby, 2. Floss. Blogging just gets in the way.


Monday, July 17, 2006

Interview With a Therapist



I need help.

I recently switched insurance companies. As a result, I can no longer see the same therapist. For the past few months, I have been talking to a Freud action figure that I keep on my desk. It seemed to be working okay.

Recent events have made me decide that I really shouldn't have let my therapy appointments slide. It turns out, I'm still nuts. Also, I had a fortune cookie that said, "God has given you one face, and you make yourselves another." That "yourselves" part worries me.

Friday, I shopped for a new therapist. I love shopping, even if it's for a therapist. I think I chose one. My decision making skills have never been that good. But I think I made a good selection this time.

When I told my prospective therapist exactly what my problems are she said, "Oh good. I love stuff like that."

That takes some of the pressure off of me. I mean, I want to make our sessions worth her time. She went to school for too long to listen to me complain about childhood (which was excellent, by the way) or to hear about my dreams (always bizarre). I like to keep therapy exciting. I didn't even have to tell her about how I read the obituaries and then go through the phone book to cross out names.

Mist 1


14 Comments:

At 9:45 PM, Blogger kuri said...

I used to have a therapist, but one day just for fun I messed with the letters on his sign so instead of saying
"Dr. Freud [not his real name]
Therapist",
it said
"Dr. Freud [still not his real name]
The rapist".

The police arrested him the next day. For impersonating Sigmund Freud. (I told you that wasn't his real name.)

 
At 1:48 AM, Blogger The Naked Nerd said...

I wouldn't worry about mental health too much Mist. You don't seem any worse off than the rest of us (me). ;)

 
At 4:28 AM, Blogger K said...

"For the past few months, I have been talking to a Freud action figure that I keep on my desk."

let's be honest. you got the same result from that as you would have if you went to the "real" therapist's office.

"When I told my prospective therapist exactly what my problems are she said, "Oh good. I love stuff like that."

most people love long things like long walks on the beach. are you sure she ain't crazy?

maybe this is why therapists don't like me -- my childhood was suspect and i ask questions about my dreams like the therapists are ms. cleo or something.

 
At 5:01 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

kuri,

The other day, I was shopping when I came across an item that called a "Rapist Selector." True story. I noticed that a sticker was partially covering the name which should have read, "Therapist Selector."

nerd,

So you cross out names in the phone book too?

 
At 5:04 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

k,

All therapists are crazy. The goal is to get to know her and then ask her who she sees for mental help. Then I can start seeing that person. You see, I have a strategy.

 
At 6:47 AM, Anonymous TJ said...

Therapy is insanity.

 
At 12:03 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

tj,

So I've been over-doing it then? I want my co-pays back.

 
At 7:41 PM, Blogger Mr. G said...

Hmmm...how to ask this??? r you sure you wanna pay for therapy? You seem pretty sane to me.

 
At 7:45 PM, Anonymous KristynMarie said...

I need therapy too, I feel your pain! Unfortunatly, my lack of insurance means no therapy for me. :( I always feel like I have nothing exciting to tell therapists. When I was 18 and with my ex I told my therapist about my problems and he looked at me over his glasses and said, "You should leave this man." Instead, I later married him, so, I could possibly be proof that therapy doesn't work --at least on me.

Oh, and I love shopping too. ;)

KristynMarie

 
At 8:10 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

mr. g,

Please don't let the insurance company find out. They'll never pay for my appointments, and I need someone to talk to.

kristynmarie,

Your therapist was clearly using what we in the know call reverse psychology. You played right into their crafty therapeutic hands.

 
At 5:46 PM, Blogger Irish Church Lady :) said...

A therapist I had long long ago really pissed me off. I adored her, she was an older Jewish lady (doesn't matter, I'm just trying to paint a picture for you). Anyways my I was in the dumpster about my bf, who put me at #5 in his priority list (above that were 1) his friends 2) his beer 3) his car 4) his job 5) me 6) sex (That was after me if you can believe that! I became a sex addict with him from my want of attention.) She even had him in with me for counselling. Anyways here I was beating my head against the wall trying to make this relationship work. She helped me with my self esteem issues and did such a good job that I very quickly realized I could do so much better than him and dumped him like someone's never been dumped before. She said "Oh I thought that would happen, I just didn't think it would happen so fast". Me thinks - well then why didn't you tell me to dump his stinkin' butt 3 months ago if you knew this would happen. Since then I stick with drugs. They work faster, cost less and mix well with alcohol.

 
At 8:53 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

icl,

You should have had your copays refunded...or at least applied to your prescriptions.

Wait, you're in Canada. You can be crazy for free there, eh?

 
At 9:56 PM, Anonymous Veronica said...

I was in therapy for years... from what I can see it might have actually made my situation worse =(

 
At 5:08 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

veronica,

But think about the stories you have to tell.

 

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