To Do:  1. Get Hobby 2. Floss

Here's what I need to do: 1. Get Hobby, 2. Floss. Blogging just gets in the way.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

No Love, Courtney

When Whitney Houston's irrational behavior and unkempt appearance were captured by the paparazzi, Courtney Love appeared like a rehab angel. She pledged her emotional support to Whitney as she cleaned herself up and rid herself of Bobby Brown. More recently, Courtney approached Brittney Spears, offering to stand by her side during her darkest days.

I needed Courtney Love's support in the last few days. I am not ashamed to admit that I had a serious bug problem. I thought if anyone could understand the chaos that bugs create, it would be Courtney. She's dealt with bugs. She's overcome them. I went through Hell because of bugs. Still, Courtney never called. Maybe she only comes to the rescue of people with names ending in "ney." I see no other explanation. Surely, I picked off enough of my own skin over the last week to merit a call.

Obsessive-compulsive tendencies aside, I blame the cat and his fleas for the skin picking. Before the fleas, everything was so right between the two of us. It was much like a marriage, he was getting fat and we shared a bed without sex.

I nearly lost everything because of the fleas. I feverishly paced the pet aisle of the grocery store, scratching and twitching, looking for a product that promised to cause permanent scarring of the lungs if inhaled. In local pet stores, I attracted the attention of Homeland Security by purchasing large quantities of poisonous fogger bombs intended for professional use. I borrowed money from friends and family to support my need for flea treatments. When the money was gone, I did things that I'm not proud of for flea collars.

Despite the haze of toxic chemicals in my home, I felt the presence of fleas for days. I was convinced that they had become resistant to commercial pesticides and had adapted, becoming ever quicker and invisible. The only thing worse than a bug problem is an imaginary bug problem.

Imaginary bugs can make time stand still. Hours, maybe even days passed as I pursued invisible parasites. New freckles from my recent sunburn came to life with astounding flea-like realism and burrowed under several layers of skin. It is exceedingly difficult remove a freckle. Freckles are also incredibly resilient to suffocation and will not emerge from the skin even when covered in a dab of clear nail polish.

It's been a difficult journey but, I think that the bugs are behind me. I have been bug-free for 72 hours, no thanks to Courtney Love.

Mist 1


At 11:01 PM, Blogger Michael C said...

Welcome back! It kinda BUGGED me that I had no new Mist to read.

At 11:26 PM, Blogger Captain Smack said...

Listen, Mist. We need to talk. You can't just walk out of here, tossing out a casual "we've grown apart" line, leaving me here to wonder what the hell's going on... just to waltz back in in the middle of the night a week later, making little jokes and acting like nothing happened.

What ever happened to "let's try something new"? I've been trying to get you to do that thing with the candle wax and strobe light for months. What, is this payback for that time I accidentally called you "Steph"?

At 11:34 PM, Blogger michael said...

Thank God you're back.

At 11:35 PM, Blogger NWJR said...

Sorry, dude, but I can't get past that picture.

At 11:36 PM, Anonymous Perry said...

That comment two above was me being a retard. Only Blogger, and my mom call me Michael. Seriously though, Thank God.

At 12:17 AM, Blogger Sheila said...

My cats have gotten your fleas by osmosis!

I've told them several times to stop using the computer while I'm gone. And, if they must use the computer, stop chewing on my mouse!!

So, what was the best option for flea removal?

At 2:04 AM, Blogger phishez_rule said...

I hope you didn't try to pop all the fleas you saw. That could be kinda painful. Glad you're back. The blogosphere is a better place with you here.

At 2:32 AM, Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Fleas are a bastard to get rid of.

At 2:52 AM, Blogger Peter DeWolf said...

Eeep. This post has made me incredibly itchy.

So easily led...

At 3:00 AM, Blogger Akelamalu said...

You're back! We love you bugs or no bugs!

At 4:10 AM, Blogger Christine and FAZ said...

Bug free huh - I have plenty to share when you get bored of being on your ownsome. FAZ

At 4:25 AM, Blogger Avitable said...

Should have asked me. All you need to do to get rid of the bugs is eat spiders!

At 4:37 AM, Blogger Glamourpuss said...

Celebrities are so fickle.

(BTW get the cat a Program injection - no more fleas ever.)

At 5:10 AM, Blogger Debbie said...

That picture is hard to take. Yikes.

I've had imaginery fleas too, or Stella doesn't matter, and they're really difficult to get rid of. It might just take Courtney.

At 5:13 AM, Blogger My Reflecting Pool said...

I can't believe Courtney Love never came to help. That bitch. Oh, yeah, um, that picture. blegh.

At 5:24 AM, Blogger Roadchick said...

It's almost a pity that the cat didn't get crabs.

Then you could've talked about getting crabs from a dirty pussy...

(Seriously though - shampoo the carpet. With HOT water. And chemicals.)

At 5:24 AM, Anonymous hellohahanarf said...

yaaaaaaaaay, musings from mist! my wednesday is much better because of you. well, except for that picture. lemme tell you, that was double dog nasty.
please don't do that to me again. i'm trying to avoid work and eat my breakfst here.

At 5:26 AM, Blogger Amber Dalton said...

WB, Baby!

We missed you. IMO, you're too good at this to not do it.


At 5:29 AM, Blogger Mystic Wing said...

Dear god, tell me this is a cleverly retouched photo, and not somebody's actual skin condition.

At 5:42 AM, Blogger MJ said...

Wooo Hooo … I am so glad that you are back !!!! The photo shows one way to get rid of freckles when you are on crack … YUCK Ü

At 5:44 AM, Blogger The King said...

Fleas, ugh! The chiggers dirty high jumping cousin.

Those bug bombs make a great flame thrower though.

At 5:51 AM, Anonymous token said...

I had fleas in my house a decade or more ago...the thing that worked was Roach Prufe---inside and out!

At 6:19 AM, Blogger Jazz said...

Well, that explains your absence. Bug freckles. Scary

At 7:04 AM, Blogger His Sinfulness said...

One day (and blog post) at a time, Mist. You can beat this thing - I have faith.

At 7:06 AM, Blogger Natalia said...

That is one bloody disturbing picture.


At 7:43 AM, Blogger puppylander said...

my brain is tingling... i'm picturing flipflops with the toe thongs made of flea collar material... i'm picturing lance armstrong flea collar material wristbands--and they come in pink for the breast cancer awareness people--and red/white/blue for patriotic americans.

At 7:59 AM, Blogger Mayren said...

At least you love Mr. Cat.
Nothing like a flea-bath to bring you two together.
I'm happy you have no bug problems anymore.

At 8:17 AM, Blogger Not a Granny said...

Ugh! We had that problem in January/February here! Take Boraxo and sprinkle it all around the baseboards in your house, all rooms. It sucks the moisture out of any eggs that have been layed.

At 8:21 AM, Blogger Bibi said...

Very good ... and good luck on the bug rehab.

At 8:21 AM, Blogger Kelly said...

I feel itchy just reading that... and that photo is HORRIFYING!

Glad you got rid of the itchy bitches

At 8:39 AM, Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

A long time ago, in an apartment far away. I had fleas. The carpet literally BOUNCED with little black things. I got through it and am so glad you did too.

Do NOT go into any pet stores for a while though Mist.

At 8:47 AM, Blogger Vengelyne said...

For the flea prob: maybe you should just try showering. If you are doing that already, then try using soap instead. Hope that helps. No need to thank me, thanks.

At 9:05 AM, Blogger blog Portland said...

Couldn't the source of all this just as easily be your rampant meth addiction?

At 9:27 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


If you hadn't capitalized the word bugged, I never would have gotten it. I am easing back into this.

capt. smack,

The words, "we need to talk" mean nothing to me.


Blogger calls me names too.


Why do you think I chose it?


Fire. Fire was the best option.


Popping fleas makes me feel queasy.


So are freckles.


I have been making everyone I talk to itchy for days.


How could you love me with a bug problem?

c & f,

Thanks for the offer but, I'm off the bugs.


What would I have to eat to get rid of the spiders?


Hissy gets a monthly treatment and still got fleas. I want my money back.


Good luck with Courtney.


I couldn't resist the picture.


That reminds me of a story...


Sometimes, I even make myself sick to my stomach.


I'm good at imaginary parasite detection too.


I wish I could tell you that.


You'd think that she would have stopped scratching at the sight of her own sinews and stuff.


I try to avoid using the word chigger. Inevitably, someone will hear you wrong and get all offended when you talk about hating chiggers.


I am proud of you for being bug free for ten years.


It was terrifying.

his sin,

I would feel stronger in my recovery if Courtney would at least leave a comment here to let me know that she cares.


I searched all over for just the right one.


I would totally wear the flea awareness bracelet. Proudly.


Hissy and I are working on mending our relationship. It's so hard for me to trust again.


I need something to suck the moisture out of the air. It's humid and I'm feeling frizzy today.


Thank you. I'm attending all of my meetings.


Strangely, I don't itch at all.


The bouncing carpet is one of my great fears.


One day, there was a flea in the shower.

b. port,

I suppose it could be. Food for thought.

At 9:31 AM, Blogger Fairmaiden327 said...

So glad things are better.

At 9:45 AM, Blogger Jenny! said...

Damnit..Courtney never pullsthrough when you really need her!

At 9:51 AM, Blogger Erica AP said...

My roommate just had a dream about fleas burrowing under her skin. Nasty. And then my dog started getting them. Was she telling the future? We'll never know... we'll never know...

At 9:51 AM, Blogger velvet said...

That photo is sooooo gross. Then again, so are fleas. Good choice.

Good luck beating the thirsty little suckers. ;)

At 9:57 AM, Blogger heartinsanfrancisco said...

When I moved to the South and first heard of chiggers, I assumed it was a derogatory word and didn't use it, ever.

You can't be too careful when you're a damnyankee.

At 9:59 AM, Blogger Avitable said...

You'd have to eat Nicaraguan birds that eat spiders. Then, you'd have to eat some snakes to kill the birds. Then you could just have sex with the snake and come full circle.

At 10:00 AM, Blogger karma lennon said...

Welcome back! Sorry to hear about the fleas. Char had them last year and everywhere I turned there they were. It was horrifying. But yeah, fire worked pretty well.

At 10:02 AM, Blogger turnerBroadcasting said...

You were the missed one.
But you're not fooling anyone
with those nitro glycern based
anti-bug bombs that are loaded
into that russian pony nuke you bought at the flea market in dekalb last saturday from that russian scientist -looking guy so
don't think you're getting off easy.

you have to fill out a form for those. And sign there. good.
And there too.

Ok. there you go.

At 10:43 AM, Blogger Tera said...

You totally should have called me, Mistney...I would have been there for you!

At 10:43 AM, Blogger The Curmudgeon said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 10:44 AM, Blogger The Curmudgeon said...

Did the little varmints finally flee for their worthless little lives?

At 10:44 AM, Blogger c j. said...

argh! you almost scratched out the joy of seeing you're back with that irksome picture. gwad, we really must find you an entertaining hubby.

At 11:21 AM, Blogger turnerBroadcasting said...

no way. then it would be "must get hubby".

I much prefer to be an unwilling participant in someone elses bad habits than to be responsible for entertainment. I am a good entertainer but thats beside the point.

I say! bug free! good enough for me!

At 11:23 AM, Blogger CruiserMel said...

Good heavens, that picture isn't you, is it? N.A.S.T.Y.

At 11:39 AM, Blogger Dallas DYSfunction said...

I cant read your blog. I cant stop staring at that nasty ass pic. it's just sooo cool. Yup, I might be gay...but when it comes to gross things... im all straight boy!

At 12:02 PM, Blogger Comedy + said...

That bitch in the picture is nasty. I've seen that same broad many, many times over my career. Nasty. Now what were you saying about bugs? That bitch is N A S T Y!

At 12:07 PM, Blogger Nölff said...

You'll see me up in the club hollin' Aye Bay Bay.

At 12:22 PM, Blogger mindy said...

Hold on - are those your real arms? GOOD GAWD if they are.

At 12:34 PM, Blogger SQT said...

Courtney is just mad you used her pre-rehab picture isn't she?

At 12:45 PM, Blogger othurme said...

Excuse me, is this where the line starts to blow Mist and tell her we missed her and don't want her to leave again? Cause I'm totally in.

At 1:20 PM, Blogger Melanie said...

sighs... fleas don't bite me. they did my ex though. you should have seen him when I let the apartment get infested. did i mention he was my ex? :wink:

At 2:24 PM, Blogger Arthur Dent said...

Welcome home, sweetheart. I planted some roses for you, I did the dishes, mopped the floor, shampooed the rugs, and even cleaned BOTH bathrooms (including the toilet).

Please say you'll never leave me again, and I'll even remember to leave the toilet seat down every time.

At 2:27 PM, Blogger ~Tim said...

Ew ew ew ew EEEEWWWWWW. That is NOT what I meant when I asked what you see when you look in the mirror....

At 3:56 PM, Blogger jennifer starfall said...

frontline, girl. it's the best.

At 4:06 PM, Blogger heather said...

what the hell kind of medical condition leaves wounds like that? or is it a pic of an inmate who won't stop digging at her arms?

regardless what it is i'm telling cheeks that this is what happens when you don't wash your hands ~thoroughly~ each and every time you go to the bathroom.

who knew your blog could be used by us mom's to teach our children about proper hygiene. :-)

At 4:37 PM, Blogger The CEO said...

I can't believe you threw me over for Courtney, again.

At 5:38 PM, Blogger WanderingGirl said...

Thank g*d you're back. My coffee is awful without you to read!

At 5:53 PM, Anonymous Courtney said...

This is the first I've heard of any of this, I swear.

My people are so fired.

At 6:25 PM, Blogger Todd said...

Best memory as a paramedic student:

We were bringing in a patient who was bugging out on acid. He insisted that there were bugs crawling all over him. After he was tied down, the instuctor asked if I wanted to see what NOT to do. I said sure. So when the patient said "Can't you see them? They're everywhere!"

My instructor replied "Holy shit! They're huge!"

The patient lost it.

At 6:26 PM, Blogger slaghammer said...

About those lesions, I recommend consultation with a health-care professional, or even a health-care amateur, pretty much anybody with “care” in their job title will do. Better yet, try an Undertaker, those guys can fix anything.

At 7:03 PM, Blogger notfearingchange said...

Hello Santa...
You know first of all the photo *puke*.
Second, thanks for finally posting.
Third, i'm currently being eaten alive by fucking bugs that splatter with blood when i kill them...

I'm off to burn my mattress in 3 weeks when i move out...*puke*

At the rate of puking i'm doing with this comment i should eventually become courtney love thin.
hugs and kisses

ps. divorce the cat..i'll marry you...and not become as fat...and ensure chilled vodka for drinkin'

At 7:05 PM, Blogger skinnylittleblonde said...

I always thought Courtney Love was selfish bitch...this only proves it!

At 7:53 PM, Blogger ~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

Courtney Love is my alter ego, will that help?

At 12:51 AM, Blogger eric313 said...

Courtney killed Kurt. Everything to gain--he couldn't divorce her then.

That was my theory. A long time ago.

Then I was in a Nirvana cover band, and I realized that his own music could have just as likely drove him to the shotgun french kiss.

I'll pray that they're all dead.

At 12:54 AM, Blogger eric313 said...

Glad to see you easing back into it.

At 3:43 AM, Blogger Peach said...

where DID you get that photo!?!?!?

At 6:30 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


Yes, but the collar is uncomfortable.


I can tell she's burned you too.


Tell me if she dreams about me winning the lottery.


Thank you. I'm entirely repulsed right now.


You have to be so PC around parasites.


Ah, the cycle of life.


Fire is the only way.


I also had to give a hair, blood, and urine sample.


I imagine that you have a red phone with a dedicated hotline.


The fleas fled.


I've sworn off hubbies.


I had no idea that you worked in the entertainment industry.


Maybe. Don't I look good in orange?


I must be a straight boy too. This is really going to be hard to explain.


You people are so sensitive.




Why? Do they look fat?


I gave her a fair chance.


Tell me with shoes.


Sly. Again, I use fire to rid my house of unwelcome parasites.


We have dishes?


Beauty is skin deep.


Revolution is a rip off.


I don't write this for me. I do it for the children.


Sometimes, I just need the support of a girlfriend...or whatever Courtney is.


My coffee is awful without CoffeeMate.


I'm not speaking to you.


Gawd. That's awful. I love it.


I was thinking that a little topical ointment would do the trick.


I didn't even think to burn the mattress. Now I can get that one with the astronaut foam.


You were so right about her. I should have listened.


Tell your alter ego that she should have called me.


Courtney is trying to kill me too.


Inmate #5266483.

At 6:31 AM, Blogger Sornie said...

Disgusting photo, must be of some meth addict in my hometown.

At 7:23 AM, Blogger ADW said...

Yay, you are back!!!

At 7:32 AM, Blogger velvet said...

Thank you. I'm entirely repulsed right now.

It's understandable. I moved into an infested apartment once and had the heebies for weeks after they were gone. It was one of the grossest things that I had ever encoutered. Well, that was before I had kids... they raised the bar on gross.

At 8:59 AM, Blogger skinnylittleblonde said... house was majorly infested with fleas when I bought it. Before I dared to bring my dogs, I treated the place with 'precor' and 'Flea Stop'. One week later i was able to move dogs in & they have never had any fleas.
I hate those bastards & I bet Courtney didn't come to help, because she herself sleeps with them.

At 9:10 AM, Blogger M@ said...

"The only thing worse than a bug problem is an imaginary bug problem."

Well, the treatment is a hell of a lot more expensive....

At 9:30 AM, Blogger Legaleagle said...

"Imaginary bugs can make time stand still. Hours, maybe even days passed as I pursued invisible parasites."

This explains the lapse. Gald you're back!

At 10:22 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


She must get really good sh*t to pick meat off the bone.


I am mostly back. I am missing some skin.


I'm glad that I didn't have kids hopping all over the carpet and furniture. I'm not sure I would have recovered from that.


I would have brought someone else's dog first, as a test.


Insurance doesn't cover flea bombs. It does cover inpatient treatment (after a $200 co-pay).


I still don't know what day it is.

At 11:25 AM, Blogger Dagromm said...

That pic has me totally freaked. A similar thing couldn't happen from masturbating can it?

At 12:01 PM, Blogger Webmiztris said...

I've found that Advantage is the only stuff that gets rid of fleas. Fleas must think I'm a cat because when our cats get them (usually once per year), I get bitten up like crazy - yet they don't bite my husband! Maybe I should buy myself a flea collar too....LOL

At 12:05 PM, Blogger turnerBroadcasting said...


do a change-up on the medicine if the advantage doesn't work.

theres two others, forgot their names but once advantage (advantix?) stopped working I went with the other one instead and it worked fine.

just fyi.

At 2:14 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


You act like you've never seen someone's insides before.


Collars are hot.


Do you dispense your veterinary advice for free?

At 2:16 PM, Blogger TOM said...

That picture is making me a little queasy and now I've got an itch...I'll be back I'm going to go set fire to the dog..friggin fleas!!

At 3:01 PM, Blogger Stacy said...

Reminds me of the DTs. So glad you are back.

At 3:03 PM, Blogger Stacy said...

Sick! I just took a closer look at that photo. I thought it was some sort of medical glove even with my glasses on, could have done without that one.

At 4:17 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


I hate the smell of burning fur.


Please, don't remind me of the DTs.

At 7:08 PM, Blogger anandamide said...

I pledged my emotional support to Whitney Houston back in the 80s and she hooked up with Bobby Brown instead.

Big mistake on her part, in retrospect....

At 9:28 PM, Blogger Jocelyn said...

Empathizing here. A couple years ago, I had some small things biting me, mostly around my waistband area. I was a mess--completely devoted to the itching, unable to stop.

May they all be dead. Long live Mist1.

At 12:33 AM, Anonymous MisstressM said...

You are wild, crazy and hilariously funny. I think i lofe you!

At 3:48 AM, Blogger Orhan Kahn said...

It's good to see you back in the swing of things, Bonnie.

Don't be a stranger :)

At 7:23 AM, Blogger turnerBroadcasting said...

mist -

you seem to be a nice midwestern
girl. for you, I will charge
a night at a karaoke bar.

everyone else. gets the free stuff.

At 7:52 AM, Blogger Rayne said...

mist!!!!!! welcome back, missed you so much...this brought back some memories..i could sit in a roomful of hungry fleas and never get a bite..but my ex would get horribly (temporarily) disfiguring problems if only one hungry flea snacked on him. they say adding brewers yeastor more garlic to your diet changes the taste of your blood and the fleas like you less..don't know if that's true, but might be worth a try if the little buggers come back. and get frontline for your cats. lots and lots of frontline.
so glad to see you again, mist...the world is a better place when your words are floating around it in...

At 8:01 AM, Blogger Rayne said...

woops. i said "it in" instead of "in it".

i meant to say that ;-)
guess that horrific pic affected me more than i thought...

At 9:53 AM, Blogger Susan said...

My car is currently infested with fleas because of a run-in with a stray..

At 5:31 PM, Blogger tine b said...

I don't know about here, but where I'm from there used to be flea circuses. Don't know if the fleas jump off horses and do the trapeze stuff, but I imagine they must at least have a contortionist and some clowns. If I ever get my hands on some tickets, I'll let you know. Might help nuance your present feelings.

At 7:35 PM, Blogger Uncivil said...

A flea and a fly flew up in a flue.
Said the flea, "Let us fly!"
Said the fly, "Let us flee!"
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

At 8:11 PM, Blogger karma lennon said...

Miss you! Hope you`re well!

At 12:06 PM, Blogger Jim said...

Hey Misty, I'm glad you're back, bites and all.
You have done all the right things, fog bombs, spray, collars, scrubbing yourself, and waiting.
The best first line protection if they ever return will be the flea collars. Have some available for emergencies.
I learned from my hippie days to put at least one on each ankle. At night before you go to bed, or otherwise bed down, hitch two or three together and put them on as a necklace in addition to the ankle ones.

Fleas have a cycle, killing them works for the living, but the unborn are coming.
The female lays 27 eggs a day for 100 days unless you kill her. The eggs then hatch into fleas in 6 to 21 days, so it may seem you aren't making progress. Then there are the 'leftovers' who don't hatch for up to a year.
Google 'Flea Cycle' to read about it, a lot of the links are really selling bug killer.
is the best I found.

Remember, do like the hippies did, keep spraying and bombing even whey you think you don't have fleas, and keep on wearing those collars.
BTW, I'm doing a 'you' like you did a week ago. I may drop over and read now and then, ok?

At 12:27 PM, Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I hope the bugs are all gone! It took my mother two stays in a mental hospital to rid (almost) her life of (imaginary) bugs.

At 3:15 PM, Anonymous karen said...

This is a glorious blog! You are a wonderful writer and I have enjoyed reading your archives very much. This post was completely hilarious and the photograph was just disgusting! I hope Courtney feels your pain...extensively and with the imaginary bugs in large crawling writhing bunches.

At 5:12 PM, Blogger Pawlie Kokonuts said...

Well, you know what they say, one bug at a time at a time at a time at a time at a time. In your case, one cannot say, Don't sweat the small stuff, because the small stuff IS the prob.

At 6:37 PM, Blogger C said...

Hi Mistney Flears - how goes it. I like the permanent arm damage. Reminds me a bit of some spanking redness I endured - it faded after several weeks.

At 10:54 PM, Blogger briliantdonkey said...

imaginary bugs are definitely worse than the real ones. THAT will drive you batty


At 4:17 AM, Blogger Cazzie!!! said...

Bugs and freckles... bad things they are..hang on..I just said to my little girls today, "Ohhh , you both have the cutest freckles on your noses". I said to my boys, "Quit bugging your sisters!!" LOL

At 6:40 AM, Blogger tallulah said...

My kids brought home lice from school once. Even after the little f*ckers were exterminated on every head and the entire house sprayed and vacuumed, I still itched for a good month.
P.S. Courtney is such a bitch for not coming to your side.

At 9:22 AM, Blogger furiousBall said...

Which further goes to prove my theory that Courtney Love would be a shitty exterminator, I need to remember who I made that bar bet with now.

At 10:46 AM, Blogger Tammie Jean said...

Oh... I can't even look at that photo... I need my happy place...

(glad you're back!)

At 2:35 PM, Blogger Tiggerlane said...

That picture was HORRID...sure those weren't imaginary bugs? Ick.

Diatenacious (sp?) earth is something you can spread around your house - supposed to be some kind of sandy stuff that rubs off the exoskeletons of fleas - which inflicts torture, nice, huh?

Do they make Frontline for humans? I'd be happy to hold you down and put some between your shoulder-blades.

At 9:43 PM, Blogger M@ said...

Encore, Mist1. Encore.

At 6:45 AM, Blogger brookelina said...

You look like hell.

Come on down to the shore. The salt air will clear that right up. The margaritas do wonders too.

At 9:05 AM, Blogger c j. said...

Excuse me, mist. Pleeeease, please, I beg you (knees on the floor and everything). Put up a new post. Even a couple of lines will do. Something. Anything. I'm only asking fro a brief paragraph that makes the picture go away so every time I come check out your blog for news, I can also get some sleep later on. Take pity. Please?

At 11:57 AM, Blogger Nölff said...

Mongolia (Mongolian: Монгол улс) is the world's second-largest landlocked country after Kazakhstan. It is typically classified as being a part of East Asia, although sometimes it is considered part of Central Asia, and the northern rim of historical Mongolia extends into North Asia. It is bordered by Russia to the north and China to the south. Mongolia's political system is parliamentary democracy. Its capital and largest city is Ulaanbaatar.

Mongolia was the center of the Mongol Empire in the thirteenth century and was later ruled by the Qing Dynasty from the end of the seventeenth century until 1911, when an independent government was formed with Russian assistance. The Mongolian People's Republic was proclaimed in 1924, leading to the adoption of communist policies and a close alignment to the Soviet Union. After the fall of communism in Mongolia in 1990, Mongolia adopted a new constitution which was ratified in 1992. This officially marked the transition of Mongolia to a multi-party political system.

At 1,564,116 square kilometres, Mongolia is the nineteenth largest, and the least densely populated independent country in the world. The country contains very little arable land as much of its area is covered by arid and unproductive steppes with mountains to the north and west and the Gobi Desert to the south. Approximately thirty percent of the country's 2.8 million people are nomadic or semi-nomadic. The predominant religion in Mongolia is Tibetan Buddhism, and the majority of the state's citizens are of the Mongol ethnicity, though Buriats, Kazakhs and Tuvans also live in the country, especially in the west. About one-third of the population lives in Ulaanbaatar.

A large number of ethnicities have inhabited Mongolia since prehistoric times. Most of these people were nomads who, from time to time, formed great confederations that rose to prominence. The first of these, the Xiongnu, were brought together to form a confederation by Modu Shanyu in 209 B.C. They defeated the Donghu, who had previously been the dominant power in eastern Mongolia. The Xiongnu became the greatest threat to China for the following three centuries; the Great Wall of China was built partly as defence against the Xiongnu. Marshal Meng Tian of the Qin Empire dispersed more than 300,000 soldiers along the Great Wall to prevent an expected invasion from the North. It is believed that after their decisive defeat by the Chinese in 428–431, some of the Xiongnu migrated West to become the Huns. After the Xiongnu migrated west, Rouran, a close relative of the Mongols, came to power before being defeated by the Göktürks, who then dominated Mongolia for centuries.

During the seventh and eighth centuries, Mongolia was controlled by Göktürks, who were succeeded by the ancestors of today's Uigur and then by the Khitan and Jurchen. By the tenth century, the country was divided into numerous tribes linked through transient alliances.

In the late twelfth century, a chieftain named Temüjin united the Mongol tribes to the Naiman and Jurchen after a long struggle and took the name Genghis Khan. Starting in 1206, Genghis Khan and his successors consolidated and expanded the Mongol Empire into the largest contiguous land empire in world history, going as far northwest as Kievan Rus.

After Genghis Khan's death, the empire was divided into four kingdoms, or "Khanates". One of these, the "Great Khanate," comprised the Mongol homeland and China, and its emperors were known as the Yuan Dynasty. Its founder, Kublai Khan, set up his centre in present day Beijing. After more than a century of power, the Yuan Dynasty was replaced by the Ming Dynasty in 1368, and the Mongol court fled north. The Ming armies pursued and defeated them in Mongolia, but were not able to conquer Mongolia. However, they were successful in sacking the Mongol capital Karakorum in 1380.
Kublai Khan
Kublai Khan

The beginning of the 15th century is characterised by struggle for the throne between the Genghisid taiji and non-Genghisid nobles called taishi. The taishi were represented by the Oirad nobles whose success led to an ascendance of Esen taishi to power. To end the Chinese economic blokade and open up a trade with Ming Dynasty, Esen taishi raided China in 1449 and captured the Ming emperor. Shortly after death of Esen, the Chingisids dominated the power again. In 1466 Queen Mandihai the Wise installed a young boy Batumonhe, a descendant of Genghis Khan, on the throne and then she defeated the Oirad. Batumonhe Dayan Khan later eradicated the separatism of the taishi of Southern Mongolia. During the 16th century, Mongolia was split between the descendants of queen Manduhai into Khalkha, Chaharia, Tumet and other domains. The ruler of Tumet proclaimed himself as Altan Khan beside the legitimate Mongolian khan. Raiding China, he besieged Beijing in 1550 and reached peace with the Ming Dynasty. Altan Khan established city Hohhot in 1557. Meeting Supreme Lama of Tibet in his domain in 1577, Altan Khan gave him title Dalai Lama and himself became a convert to Tibetan Buddhism. At the same time ruler of Khalkha Abtai rushed to Tumet to meet Dalai Lama. Thus, eventually most of the Mongolian rulers became Buddhists. Abtai Khan established Erdene Zuu monastery in 1586 at the site of the former city Karakorum.

The second half of the 15th and the 16th centuries saw the revival and flourishment of the Mongolian culture. Zanabazar (1635-1723), head of Buddhism in Khalkha, was a great master of the Buddhist art. He created the famous sculptures of Sita-Tara and Siyama-Tara, inspired by lively images of Mongolian women.

During the seventeenth century, the Manchus rose to prominence in the east. They conquered Inner Mongolia in 1636. The Khalkha submitted in 1691, bringing all but the west of today's Mongolia under the rule of the Qing Dynasty. For the next two centuries, the Manchus maintained control of Mongolia with a series of alliances and intermarriages, as well as military and economic measures.

With the fall of the Qing Dynasty, Mongolia declared independence in 1911. The new country's territory was approximately that of the former Outer Mongolia. The 49 hoshuns of Inner Mongolia as well as the Mongolians of the Alashan and Qinghai regions expressed their willingness to join the young Mongol Khanate. After the October Revolution in Russia, Chinese troops led by Xu Shuzheng occupied the capital in 1919. The Chinese dominance did not last: notorious Russian adventurer "Bloody" Baron Ungern who had fought with the "Whites" (Ataman Semyonov) against the Red army in Siberia, led his troops into Mongolia and forced a showdown with the Chinese in Niislel Khüree. Ungern's forces triumphed, and he briefly in effect ruled Mongolia under the blessing of religious leader Bogd Khan. But Ungern's triumph was shortlived; he was chased out by the Red Army, which, while at it, liberated Mongolia from feudalism and ensured its political alignment with the Russian Bolsheviks. In 1924, after the death of the religious leader and king Bogd Khan, the Mongolian People's Republic was proclaimed and was backed by the Soviets.

At 12:00 PM, Blogger Susan said...

Hrmmm girlie. Hope you're ok..

At 2:41 PM, Blogger turnerBroadcasting said...

are you kidding? of course she's ok. take a look at her arms.

At 11:35 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


Whitney has made many, many mistakes.


May they all be dead. Thank you.


I think I still itch.


Still swinging, Clyde.


I don't karaoke. Sober.


I mist me too.


Dear Gawd. Burn it. Get insurance.


My fleas were unskilled.


Poetry. Sigh. I'm not worthy.


Thank you. I'm feeling much better.


Bites are recovering. Slowly.


I'm with your mother.


Thank you. Thank you.


One bug at a time, that's my new motto.


I hope the damage isn't permanent.


No bats.


My freckles are cute.


Lice terrify me.


Courtney means nothing to me now.


Look at the photo.


I love the photo.




I feel like Hell.


I thought a couple of lines would do too. Look what happened to my arms.


You are scaring everyone.


Doing well.


Not my finest feature right now.

At 9:59 PM, Blogger The King said...

You still got me thinkin' of them damn chiggers.

At 2:04 PM, Blogger STAK said...

marriage is a different animal for me,chica...........we're getting fat...........but having more sex than ever............

At 1:46 PM, Blogger Amber said...

Sorry if someone else suggested this already but I didn't have time to plow through all the comments. Get "Advantage" at the vet's, any vet will sell it to you.

A few drops on the back on your cat's neck and the fleas will all die off. No need for scary chemicals and whatnot.

At 6:01 PM, Blogger Gucci Muse said...

Glad your back! but that photo- eeww, so gross!!!

Oh yeah, fleas suck.

At 9:02 PM, Blogger RC said...

yea, totally could have done with out seeing that photo...ugh!

At 8:06 PM, Blogger Crack la Rock said...

I wish we could have worked upto a bed with out sex...but I blew it.

At 1:23 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


What'd you call me?


Fat sex is hot.


Revolution is crap.


Fleas do suck. That's kind of their thing.


I still love that photo.


We still have a marriage. No sex and we never talk anymore.

At 6:58 AM, Blogger Jaya said...

Move to northern New Mexico.
We have way less fleas than
other areas. And many of the
ones I have encountered have
been fat and slow... of course,
this is tempered by the fact
that some of our fleas carry
bubonic plague. You just have
to weigh the pros and cons...

At 10:35 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


The fleas here are slim and quick but, many of the people are fat and slow. It's a bad combination.

At 2:34 PM, Blogger Claudia said...

I think you must have royal blood or something. I do,(dear old Aunt Annie says so) and thats why fleas, mosquito's and bedbug's LOVE me.

At 11:54 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


I used to have an Aunt Annie. Mosquitoes loved her. She was 120 proof.

At 7:16 PM, Blogger Real Live Lesbian said...

What a bitch. She just left you out to dry.

Be glad you're not here.

I've had three plagues.

First wasps. Then black flies. Now lady bugs.

If I wake up to a floor full of frogs, I'm moving. Period.


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Name: Mist1
Location: Dirty South, USA

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