To Do:  1. Get Hobby 2. Floss

Here's what I need to do: 1. Get Hobby, 2. Floss. Blogging just gets in the way.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Amoxicillin Wars

My ears are tired of not being recognized on my face. For years, they have been in the shadows of my wide almond eyes and delicate nose and my pouty lips. My ears have issued a statement warning me that middle ear infections will rage in both ears accompanied by fever and chills until I listen to their demands. They have threatened to rain down a pain worse than any swimmer's ear I have ever had in my life. I refuse to negotiate with my ears. They have control over my equilibrium and have threatened to upset it. They have breeched the canals. I have Amoxicillin for ten days and I have wine for the next several hours. I will stay the course.

Where did I go wrong with my ears? I did the best I could with them, but there were two of them and I was young and foolish. I spoiled them and sheltered them those tiny little bones. My ears always loved the drums and I encouraged them. Maybe, I loved them too much. I was proud of my earlobes, my family has always had fine ears. At night, I vainly stroked them with Q-Tips, which I never, ever stuck into the ear canal.

I think the problems started when I had them pierced. The man used a piercing gun. I saw a show on TV about how the gun is too violent and can scar young ears. I should have found a place that used a needle. I can feel the tiny bit of scar tissue near the hole. My ears will never forgive me. Now, I'm too sensitive to wear earrings. When I do, it is only for a few hours and, even then, the holes itch and burn in ways that only other holes in the body can relate to. I made them go through the trauma of the gun for nothing. Earrings are really all an ear has to look forward to. No one notices ears unless you are wearing earrings. People never comment on the fullness of an earlobe or the delicate swirling of cartilage.

My ears have started making noises like Rice Krispies cereal. They are demanding hoop earrings. I have five holes between my two ears. Every time I refuse a hoop, my ears threaten to pierce a part of my body. The nose and nipples sympathize with my ears and have formed an alliance. The situation in my ears is volatile, pulling out now would be disastrous. I will keep fighting the good fight with antibiotics and wine.

Mist 1


At 3:04 AM, Blogger Orhan Kahn said...

.. until I listen to their demands.

Doesn't sound like you have a choice in the matter.

.. even then, the holes itch and burn in ways that only other holes in the body can relate to.

I'd love to know more, but I wont ask. I'm a gentleman, you see :)

At 4:52 AM, Blogger Legaleagle said...

Amoxicillin, you say? My ears laugh in the face of Amoxicillin!

Feel better soon.

At 4:56 AM, Blogger Vengelyne said...

When I was 5, my ears were pierced with a gun. After that, I could only wear pure gold because any other material would make me look like a Ferengi.

At 5:28 AM, Blogger WanderingGirl said...

All of my piercings were done with a gun with no problem. Maybe you're allergic to the metal you're using...

Now, don't forget that antibiotics negate the pill.

At 5:29 AM, Blogger karma lennon said...

I had my ears pierced when I was one and we've been fine ever since. They do get a touch shy sometimes only because when they do make an appearance people call them "pixie ears". They've developed a complex.

At 5:34 AM, Blogger WNG said...

Fight the power Mist. I'm behind you all the way. My ears have put me through all kinds of hell, they can be such a**holes sometimes.

At 5:35 AM, Anonymous hellohahanarf said...

i agree that it wasn't the gun, but perhaps the metal in the earrings that makes your ears unhappy.

stay strong, fight that good fight and i hope you are quickly over the cereal sickness.

At 5:36 AM, Blogger Tera said...

Antibiotics...*sigh*...then comes the yeast...*sigh*...thus, other itching holes...

At 5:42 AM, Blogger Avitable said...

I'll join in on the fight on whatever side your butt is on.

At 6:12 AM, Blogger Jazz said...

Won't wine alone clean up your problems? Alcohol can kill bacteria, can't it?

At 6:17 AM, Blogger Michael C said...

Thanks for this. I will have my young daughters read the next to last paragraph daily until they are 18. I may be back for more assistance.

At 6:32 AM, Blogger MJ said...

You have very angry ears …Stay strong Ü

At 6:45 AM, Blogger Constance said...

The ears can be formidable. My eyes have rebelled recently. They didn't like the colored contact lenses I put in them. They've persisted to sting and blur my vision. They take great pride in blinding me, or starting eyelid twitches that make me look like I'm winking at co-workers.

At 6:53 AM, Blogger His Sinfulness said...

I have been fortunate with my ears. We have had relative detente, even when I stretched the holes in them up to a 2 gauge, a 5x increase in diameter. No other hole in my body can boast such expansion - but, then again, I'm a straight male...

Feel better soon!

At 7:22 AM, Blogger Peter DeWolf said...

Jealousy of full, pouty lips.

I gave that every single day.

At 7:44 AM, Blogger Mis Understood said...

Sorry but youve been tagged please go to my blog.
Hope you feel better.

At 7:46 AM, Blogger turnerBroadcasting said...

what happens, mist 1, if lets say
where the piercing was..

you had an earring that, strictly hypothetically speaking of course, got um. ripped out with the back still on.

and lets say, again, just hypothetically lets say.

suppose that , after the wound heals, there's a round sort of what looks like a zit, hypothetically, in my hypothetical ear, on the earlobe.


so suppose it never goes away and its kind of hard, but if you prick it with a needle it drains. the stuff is a shade of hypothetical green.

and you've cut it with a razorblad and cleaned it off but it still comes back.

what is this mist 1?

what should this hypothetical person do about it?

At 8:22 AM, Blogger Lampy said...

I'm surprised your belly button didn't have anything to say about all of this ;)

At 8:27 AM, Blogger Mayren said...

Mist my sweet, please be careful with those precious ears of yours. If they do not heal up correctly you can get Tinnitus.
It's actually pretty bad and can cause chronic migraines etc. Not fun. Then there is the inner-ear infection so bad that they swell up and start to close. Then they have to insert an Ear-wick into your head that you put ear-drops in. gross is a word for it.

Please be careful. Ear problems are really bad.

At 8:31 AM, Blogger mindy said...

Skip the antibiotics. Up the wine intake. That always works for me.

At 8:34 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


You really are a gentleman. I must offend you terribly on a daily basis. I will try to clean up my act.


My ears are ringing in the face of Amoxicillin.


I went to school with a kid who looked like that. I think he was the school mascot.


Well, that was sobering. I'm sure I can figure out an alternative.


They sound cute. You should dust them with glitter.


I hope your ears didn't read your comment. There will be retaliation.


I am sending my ears to a therapist so they can talk through their issues.


Why do you say stuff like that to me? I am going to live in a cave now.


My butt is a lover, not a fighter.


Maybe I should switch to vodka.


Do you read my posts to the girls before bed?


I am in an abusive relationship with my ears. I can't leave them. They don't want to hurt me but, I make them.


I hope my eyes aren't getting any ideas.

his sin,

My ears should thank me that I am not into that.


I earned this pout. I do about 30 minutes of pout practice in the mirror every day.


But, I'm dying.


A hypothetical person should pull it out and show other hypothetical people for their hypothetical opinions. This should be done close to meal times.


I don't have a belly button. There is no belly, nor is there a button. It doesn't even have a little flap to pierce. My mutant navel is one of my favorite body parts.


My ears and I have been doing this all my life. I keep thinking that we'll learn to coexist peacefully, but I swear, I'm building a wall.


I may have to start in on the mouthwash soon.

At 8:35 AM, Blogger A Million Paths said...

I had my ears pierced before my I can remember. My mom had them done (for all of us) by our pediatrician. I don't think the age you get your ear pierced matters - just get them done by someone who knows what they're doing (i.e. not claires), and we all worse the same pair of gold earrings solidly for like five years before we got to switch out to flashier cheaper metals. none of us have any sort of allergies.

At 8:54 AM, Blogger Comedy + said...

the holes itch and burn in ways that only other holes in the body can relate to.

Okay, let's hear more about this... Seems you could just kick back and enjoy the itch and burn. Just saying here...

At 9:10 AM, Blogger Matt said...

I was going to say, "Can't your breasts do anything about this!?"

They're bigger than your ears, right? :)

At 9:10 AM, Blogger Matt said...

I was going to say, "Can't your breasts do anything about this!?"

They're bigger than your ears, right? :)

At 9:26 AM, Blogger Susan said...

Did your ears contact my ears because I'm all out of it today? Is this a world wide ear revolt?? I'm scared.

At 9:38 AM, Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

Start taking MultiDolpholus on the last day of the Amoxy otherwise at least ONE other orifice will be itchy. Ugh.

At 9:47 AM, Blogger Sheila said...

You sure to make an ear infection sound so much more exciting than I ever could. You know I know how you feel. I'm sorry. Get better soon!

At 9:57 AM, Blogger Lizza said...

Sounds like your body parts are going to start a mutiny. Better find a solution quick before they start recruiting your nether regions.

At 10:06 AM, Blogger velvet said...

I always heard that alcohol lessens the effectiveness of antibiotics, but that's probably just a nasty rumor the doctors started to make being sick even more miserable.

Hope your ears get better soon.

At 10:25 AM, Blogger Jenny! said...

Snap, crackle, pop! Do the little dudes from teh cereal live in your ears too???

At 10:46 AM, Blogger WNG said...

Don't worry Mist, my ears, like the rest of my body parts, are illiterate. I'm safe from retribution.

At 11:18 AM, Anonymous Miss Britt said...

You need chandelier earrings. Preferably in some brightly colored jewel. Not in all five off course - that would just be gaudy.

At 11:23 AM, Anonymous la cubana gringa said...

At large enough doses, alcohol can serve as an anesthetic. Keep that in mind!

At 11:36 AM, Blogger Rachel said...

I'm extra sensitive to earrings too. Finally discovered that the only metal I can wear is high karat gold. (14K, 18K, and 24K). Any other metal, including sterling makes my lobes itchy and puffy and infected.

Try sticking to good gold. Your ears are an extension of you, and you sound like a girl of quality. Therefore, your ears demand quality too. :)

Sorry to hear about your ear infection. Sucks.

At 12:11 PM, Blogger Captain Smack said...

It's time for psychological warfare. I would hang some of Van Gogh's self portraits around the house as a reminder to the ears of what can happen if they don't cooperate.

At 12:46 PM, Blogger Winter said...

Just lurking today, thanks.

At 12:52 PM, Blogger melanie said...

I own hoops in many sizes, and all silver. And the sound of rice krispies in my ears hasn't reoccurred since. just keep drinking. this too will pass.

At 1:10 PM, Blogger puppylander said...

my ears get a lot of attention and comment. mostly "the horror! the horror!" or "children, avert your eyes!" or "don't challenge him to beer pong."

At 2:12 PM, Blogger Mystic Wing said...

That will teach you not to pass out with your ear pressed to the ceramic tile floor next to the toilet.

The voice of experience talking here.

At 2:27 PM, Blogger Trying2BMe said...

You are awesome and I gave you an award. Come to my page and check it out.

At 2:28 PM, Blogger NWJR said...

Hee hee. You said "nipple".

At 2:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

When people comment on ears it's because they are really big or super ugly, or even with a bad skin condition. Never once have I heard someone compliment the ear in general.

At 2:59 PM, Blogger Just telling it like it is said...

Don’t for get the benadryl my remedy for everything, heck I bet if you drink vodka your ears wont remember being mad at you…they might even tell you how much they love your delicate nose and pouty lips...
or At least when I drink I forget how mad I am and willingly give out the I love you's to everyone that is around me...Last time the security guard told me how much he loved me back as he escorted me out of the bar!

At 3:43 PM, Blogger turnerBroadcasting said...

they said it looks like its infected, i mean, though its been the same way for nearly three months. very small, almost like a zit.

kind of disgusting i guess.

At 4:03 PM, Anonymous MisstressM said...

You obviously did not buy enough pretty earrings. That’s where you went wrong. Your pouty lips get kisses, your eyes get compliments, and you just forget about your pissed off ears. You now need to go to the mall and spend your paycheck on pretty earrings.

At 4:07 PM, Blogger notfearingchange said...

Mist - I'm not sure what that is a picture of...however, it looks like a hot glue gun - maybe that's the issue? ;op
ps....keep the wine flowing...i know i know you're not supposed to...but i think it wrong when you stop the wine.

At 4:41 PM, Blogger Lampy said...

Mist - no belly button? You must be an alien or something. You must have been born from a pod or something. freak. :P

At 5:10 PM, Blogger Michael C said...

I may need to now. Say hi to them for me.

At 5:37 PM, Blogger Nina said...

I hope you're eating lots of yogurt or another part of you body is going to start rebellin too.

At 5:41 PM, Blogger ADW said...

That gave me a right giggle!! Usually it is my left ass cheek that is at war with the rest of my body, but that's just me.

At 7:10 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


Claire's would have been better than the kiosk.


I rarely enjoy itching and burning.


My breasts and ears haven't been formally introduced.


They're organizing.


I am already one step ahead.


I attribute this post to antibiotics and wine.


My nether regions better not turn on me.


I did ask the nurse if it was okay if I had a glass of wine. By glass, I meant bottle.


And the Keebler guys.


You are wise to keep your parts ignorant.


I am never gaudy.


I can't feel my face.


I can't wait until I feel like a girl of quality again.

capt. smack,

That is pure brilliance.


Lurkers don't comment. Now, you've got me all confused.


Pour me another glass, please.


Please post a photo.


But it felt so cool.


You're so sweet for seeing through my infectious state.


Nipples always make me smile.


I am going to praise ears from now on.


I can't believe that I haven't tapped into the Benadryl yet.


See how long it takes for an entire appendage to fester and fall off.


I am going to have to shop online. I can't handle the mall right now.


That's the piercing gun.


It's been suggested before.


I'm taking them out for drinks just as soon as I can stand up again.


Vanilla. The big tub of it.


Why can't butt cheeks all just get along?

At 7:13 PM, Blogger Michael C said...

I have no problem with that! Perhaps you could share some of your writing secrets with me, I mean them...

At 7:23 PM, Blogger Sheila said...

I was always told that you're not supposed to have alcohol with antibiotics, cuz it makes the antibiotics not as effective.

Anyone know any truth to this?!

At 8:49 PM, Blogger Webmiztris said...

weird. I had my first 4 holes pierced with a gun with no problem. I did the other 7 holes in my ears myself by popping a sharp earring posts through when I was in middle school. seriously. I was pretty hardcore.

feel better, mist. :)

At 12:28 AM, Blogger phishez_rule said...

I've never had a bodily orifice itch and burn. Itch yes, burn maybe. But never together.

At 1:21 AM, Blogger Orhan Kahn said...

Don't you ever change! Not for me, not for anyone! You just remain as offensive as possible. The contents of my stomach aren't going to digest themselves ;)

At 6:25 AM, Blogger Glamourpuss said...

Poor thing. We are ruled by our senses. Capitulate gracefully.


At 4:09 PM, Anonymous Trew Life Advice said...

Antibiotics and wine! lol. Wonderful combo!

Ask Trew Life

At 7:29 AM, Blogger puppylander said...

i'll think about it.

At 7:53 AM, Blogger Sornie said...

Throw in some vicodin and sleep through the weekend.

At 8:47 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


The secret to writing is to write.


How could alcohol have ill-effects on anything? That's just not right.


Promise to stay away from my ears if we ever meet in person.


There's still time. You haven't met the right man or bubble bath.


You make me feel so pretty and delicate.


I always copulate gracefully.


It has never failed me.


Thinking is too difficult right now.


Where can I get some?

At 9:55 AM, Blogger Christine and FAZ said...

Get well soon and when you do go out and buy yourself some new earrings. FAZ

At 12:13 PM, Blogger ~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

I've always had shitty ears as well. Hope they get better fast!

At 5:41 PM, Blogger Tammie Jean said...

"even then, the holes itch and burn in ways that only other holes in the body can relate to."

Damn, Mist, that is funny!

At 11:30 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

c & f,

Maybe I should go with titanium.


I am on the mend. Thanks.


It's only funny when you're not itching and burning.

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"All of this happened, more or less." - Kurt Vonnegut

Name: Mist1
Location: Dirty South, USA

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