To Do:  1. Get Hobby 2. Floss

Here's what I need to do: 1. Get Hobby, 2. Floss. Blogging just gets in the way.


Thursday, July 20, 2006

Financial Responsibility



I have a financial advisor. There are several things that disturb me about this.

His name is Bill. The irony here does not amuse me.

I talk a lot. So does he. He also charges by the hour. Each session means that I can own one fewer pair of Manolos. I love Manolos. Bill does not appreciate fashion.

Bill has several locks on his door. He locks us in a room together when we are going over my irresponsible spending habits. Bill also does not appreciate bathing.

The last time I saw Bill, I walked into the office, locked all the locks and took my customary seat. Instead of waddling over to his side of the desk he disappeared into the back room (I have never been in the back room). He re-emerged with two cocktails.

Is it a bad sign or a good sign when your financial advisor offers you a drink? If it had been champagne, I would know that I could afford an early retirement. But scotch (which I haven't acquired the palate for) confused me.

I took the scotch and tried to appear at ease. Bill sat down and said, "You have reached the point this year where you could have bought a new car with what you've spent on clothing."

I said, "Let me know when I could have bought an airplane."

Apparently, I will never be able to retire at this rate. He asked me how I thought I was going to be able to afford all these shoes and handbags when I'm a little old lady in a wheelchair.

He's got a point.

When I'm in a wheelchair, I am going to have the cutest shoes. I will be able to wear four inch heels all day when I'm in a wheelchair.

I am going to contribute more to my 401K.

Mist 1


20 Comments:

At 11:03 PM, Blogger The Naked Nerd said...

Mist you friggin crack me up!!!! You have a true talent for writing the funniest stuff! I can so picture that story in my head. :)

 
At 5:02 AM, Blogger Irish Church Lady :) said...

Yay! I'm first! But maybe not. I hate this comment approval thingy BTW! :)

Poor Bill, he really wanted to get his point across ay? And you thought he was trying to hit on you!

 
At 5:09 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

nerd,

I can picture all those shoes...

 
At 6:12 AM, Blogger Mr. G said...

Why is the image of Mist...sitting in a wheelchair in 4" Manolos not such a difficult one to form???

 
At 6:59 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

icl,

Comment approval has suddenly become necessary in my life. Plus, it makes me feel important.

I hate it too.

Bill wasn't hitting on me. Eewwww. I shouldn't have approved your comment.

 
At 7:14 AM, Blogger Ray said...

I agree with the others. I love the way you can humorously tell a story with such vivid imagery.

I look forward to your posts

 
At 8:02 AM, Blogger anastasia said...

I have a bit of a shoe and handbag fetish myself, when I get older, I'm gonna have the perfect toes, in the perfect shoes ALL the time. Of course, with every pair, I'll have the matching bag. Your right, no wear and tear on the shoes when your in the wheelchair!!! Oh, and my wheelchair is gonna be hot too!!

 
At 11:46 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

mr. g,

I will have to own more than one wheelchair...to coordinate with my shoes, of course.

 
At 12:05 PM, Blogger Mr. G said...

Hmmm...learn something new every day...here I thought that all wheelchairs came in basic black so that it coordinated with everything without causing any fashion crisis.

 
At 12:39 PM, Blogger speckledpup said...

oh and they won't wear out as quick in the wheelchair......
that just rocks.

yes, you should buy a coach bag to go with....

sweeeeeeet.

 
At 1:44 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

ray,

Sooo much pressure. What if I fail to perform? What if I can't keep it up?

First time I've ever said that!

 
At 2:40 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

anastasia,

I am always on the quest for the perfect handbag. Nothing ever satisfies me.

Is there a company that pimps wheelchairs?

 
At 4:40 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

mr. g,

You can't just have a black wheelchair. What if you want to wear navy?

 
At 5:53 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

pup,

It's beautiful, isn't it? Think of all the lovely shoes with no wear on the bottoms.

Of course my shoe closet will have to be reoutfitted. I will not be needing that step ladder anymore as the shelves will have to be much lower.

 
At 4:14 AM, Blogger K said...

see man, then what happens is that you get some old geezer to pay for your manolos. problem solved.

i should have been an advisor.

 
At 6:42 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

k,

It's not too late to have a career change. I actually think I would like it if you were my advisor. We would have so much fun.

 
At 8:28 AM, Anonymous KristynMarie said...

401k? Good idea, maybe I should open one but then I wound't have any money to spend on my videogames :(

KristynMarie

 
At 9:06 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

kristynmarie,

You will have to prioritze...or perhaps start shoplifting so that you can save for retirement.

 
At 12:52 PM, Blogger Echo Mouse said...

I love how you write too. But as a former finance person, I'm still in shock about the drink thing.

Rule of thumb - any financial advisor who brings out a drink, worse - that gives you one too - while going over your finances IS A BAD SIGN. Run, do not walk, RUN, to someone new.

 
At 9:13 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

mouse,

But Bill takes such good care of me.

I thought that the aversion to bathing was an even worse sign, but you're the expert.

 

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