To Do:  1. Get Hobby 2. Floss

Here's what I need to do: 1. Get Hobby, 2. Floss. Blogging just gets in the way.


Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Done Phrinking



This is what I do when I get home:

1. Pour a glass of wine.
2. Strip off work clothes.
3. Put on flip flops.

There is something about wearing a thong and flip flops that just isn't sexy. I felt silly and moderately tacky. G called me in this state.

We talked about the beach and the weather. I flopped into bed. We talked about rain and thunder and meetings and fashion.

G uncorked a bottle of wine. "Mmmm," I said. "That sounds good."

I got out of bed, wobbled downstairs and poured a glass for myself. "What are you drinking?" G asked.

It dawned on me. We were phone drinking. It's better than phone sex because you don't feel as ridiculous.

"Can you hear the cork, Baby?"

"Yeah, that sounds tasty. I want some."

"Let me hear you open a beer for me."

"You wanna hear me open a beer, Baby? Listen. Oh yeah, that's for you."

"Oh my God, you're making me so thirsty."

Phone drinking is hot. I hope it doesn't become a problem. I don't have time for another support group:

"Hi, my name is Mist and I'm a drunk. I was phone drinking all night. I stayed up way too late. I went over my minutes and I really can't afford that. I even drank on the phone with my own voice mail last night. I am crying out for help. "

Still, it kinda turned me on.

Mist 1


23 Comments:

At 2:23 AM, Blogger The Naked Nerd said...

I hope 3rd world countries around the world don't get a whiff of this. Or parents and spouses telephone bills will be going through the roof again. Five dollars for the first minute, and three dollars for each additional minute. ;)

 
At 4:31 AM, Anonymous Alison said...

I believe I have done this before.

 
At 5:04 AM, Blogger Irish Church Lady :) said...

I heart phone drinking, blog drunking, but on line chatting when drinking is the most fun!

Ah your getting me excited but it's only 7:57 a.m. I will daydream about this all day.

Slainte

ICL, {who may be developing a problem but doesn't care LOL}

 
At 5:27 AM, Blogger C said...

The pic threw me off. I thought you meant you sat around making a piling of shoes until I read the rest. Before you know it they will install speakers at bars where you can call in and be heard drinking and talking about your bad day at work. Reality bar radio - like reality TV.

 
At 6:06 AM, Blogger Mr. G said...

Mist -

It's only a 'problem' that needs to be 'addressed' if you start calling Directory Assistance so that you had interaction while you drink.

 
At 7:01 AM, Blogger Schell said...

As always another great read. I sure miss you on the weekends when you don't post. Practising safe phone drinking is good. Have a great day.

 
At 7:07 AM, Blogger Mindless Dribbler said...

Phone drinking huh? Hell, I might have to try that. SpongeBob boxers and an MGD longneck...oh yeah.

 
At 7:14 AM, Blogger Miss Britt said...

LOL - maybe I can convince my hubby that phone drinking is just as hot as phone sex - it's at least as funny!

 
At 7:48 AM, Blogger Avitable said...

I have phone TV-watched. It's exhilirating.

 
At 8:33 AM, Blogger Dallas DYSfunction said...

I feel so dirty..... mmmmm wine.

 
At 9:35 AM, Blogger speckledpup said...

funny funny post.

 
At 9:44 AM, Blogger Meg said...

What a wonderful idea!! I am so going to try phone drinking....I bet it could become incredibly hot and probably lead to some other phone activity :) Well, unless someone passes out before that, then all you'd end up getting is a really outrageous phone bill!

 
At 12:51 PM, Blogger LoRi~fLoWer said...

There is, however, a certain symmetry to wearing a thong while wearing thongs. See? It's all in the spin.

 
At 4:14 PM, Blogger Nihilistic said...

I just got home from my Morse Code sexaholics meeting - I was kicked out of my phone drinking meeting when they found out the pffff noise was actually sprite instead of beer. Jerks...

 
At 5:00 PM, Blogger anastasia said...

My, my, phone drinking.....I'm gonna have to try that, I've tried everything else drinking..I'm going to be very careful though as to not cause a problem for myself. Everything in moderation.

 
At 5:02 PM, Anonymous Kristyn said...

LOL. Phone drinking. There are worst things you could be doing while drinking, or while on the phone for that matter. ;)

Kristyn

 
At 6:47 PM, Blogger Darlene said...

omg - phone drinking...LOL Hey, if G can't get to a phone, you two can always try cyber-drinking... Cut the small talk & get right to business.......

 
At 7:08 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

Hey...that's a great business idea.

 
At 7:42 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

alison,

I hope I didn't call you too. Sorry.

icl,

See you in group!

c,

Pile of shoes=fantasy
Bar cameras/speakers=nightmare

 
At 7:44 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

mr. g,

What's the #?

 
At 8:17 PM, Blogger Brandy said...

OH my ... LOL!!!! Love this post!!!

 
At 4:06 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

schell,

The weekends are when I go through everyone's blogroll.

mindless,

I think I saw you running down Peachtree St. I remember those boxers.

miss britt,

Sometimes guys don't like it when they're trying to turn you on and you laugh.

avitable,

I have phone tv watched as well. With my mom. Now it just seems disgusting. Thanks.

dallas,

Were you on the line when I was talking? I think that's a quote from me. Now I feel dirty. A three-way call!

pup,

Thanks.

meg,

Take care and use a cordless phone. You don't want to strangle yourself.

lori,

Thanks for catching that one. I thought it was rather clever.

nihilistic,

I can't imagine sitting in with that group. Long, short, short, long...it's just not a converstaion that I want to have with sexaholics.

anastasia,

The only moderation I know is comment moderation. And I hate it.

darlene,

I do everything in my power to keep myself from cyber-drinking. Sometimes a post here or an email there...

brandy,

Of course you love this post. You are named Brandy. Just talking to you on the phone is phone drinking.

 
At 4:06 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

This comment moderation this is crazy today...

 

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