To Do:  1. Get Hobby 2. Floss

Here's what I need to do: 1. Get Hobby, 2. Floss. Blogging just gets in the way.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Bundling Services

Lacy has been waxing me for years. She knows how I like my eyebrows. I like a subtle arch. I don't prefer the look of shock and awe on my face. She also knows how I like my, um...

I made the appointment last week. No one called me to tell me that Lacy was ill. When I got to the spa, Heather greeted me. I almost balked. Waxing is intimate. I hardly know Heather. She did my brows a few months ago. She's a small-talker. "So, what are you doing this weekend?" and "Any vacation plans coming up?" I am not good at small talk. Especially when my pants are off. When I get my brows arched, I prefer not to talk as I want to keep my face as neutral as possible. I am there to correct that unruly left brow, not to talk about my social calendar.

There was no way I was going to be able to drop my pants for Heather. Except for the fact that I was overdue for a waxing. Really overdue.

I should have waited. Now, my eyebrows are a little too thin. And elsewhere, well...I look a bit like Hitler with a harelip. It will all grow back in time. I remain loyal to Lacy.

G and I were discussing the intimacy of waxing. I mentioned that I would prefer to combine my gynecologist and waxing appointments. I could walk in and have my blood pressure checked, the nurse would draw blood, the esthetician would remove all unwanted hair, and the doc would handle everything else. G agreed, saying that the doc could prescribe a localized pain killer before the hair removal.

At first, I thought this was a good idea. But then I started thinking. I hate the feeling when I leave the dentist. That feeling that my mouth is really large. I drool and can't drink from a straw and I am certain that my entire face is swollen and distorted. I can only imagine leaving the OBGYN/Esthetician with the same sensation. Only not on my face.

Mist 1


At 6:28 AM, Anonymous Allan said...

I can just hear the GYN say, "Be careful! Don't bite your lip. Here. Take a cotton roll or two."

Yeah. I'm a dentist. I know the spiel.

At 7:25 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


I tried to bite my own lip once. I fell out of bed.

At 8:08 AM, Blogger Mr. G said...

Mist -

You may have just hit upon a great idea...a 'one-stop shop' for women's health and maintenence...hmmm...if it's ok with you I'll cut you in for a quick 10% after I set the deal with friends who are both OBGYN and Estethicians.

One office...all services provided...payment at time of service. It's a great sounding idea.

At 8:45 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

mr. g,

Sometimes, I amaze myself with my ideas.

I'll agree to your terms. Mostly because I am fascinated that you know people who are both gynos and waxers.

At 10:16 AM, Blogger Irish Church Lady :) said...

You know how you tense up when you go for a Gyny exam? You know that cold metal that feels nothing like your smooth plastic vibrator? Well I think if you're tense, the waxing may hurt more ... just sayin'

At 11:31 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


But the wax is soooo warm. And get waxed first for cryin' out loud. The gyny can't work with all that goin' on down there.

At 1:08 PM, Blogger Avitable said...

Hitler with a hare-lip is an interesting visual.

At 1:46 PM, Blogger Cheeky said...

Now see I am just a big ol chicken - I am all about grooming, and trimming and shaving where needed but damn just thinking about dropping the draws and having it ripped away......whew just can't think about it

At 1:54 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


Yes, I think I said, "Heather, give me a shape with an interesting visual, I'm over that whole sexy thing."

Love the new avatar.

At 6:02 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


Just like taking off a band-aid. Gotta do it quickly.

At 7:10 PM, Blogger Mr. G said...

Mist -

It appears that there are some zoning issues with your idea...if we include a resturant tho' we could bill it as a spa and ge the zoning issues resolved in no time.

Know any chef's willing to work in those conditions???

At 7:22 PM, Blogger anastasia said...

Mist, the laser hair removel, best idea ever!!! Two or three treatments, and your good to go. They even put some kind of cream on ya to numb ya down there. It's so worth it, the girly parts have never looked better!! No more waxing, shaving, nada!! You just have to make sure that they have a nice "hair do" mapped out for you. If they -uck that up, the hair dosen't grow back, your stuck with that bad "hair do", and that can be a little embarassing when you go visit the girly doctor.

At 10:47 PM, Blogger K said...

let me find out you are cheating on lacy. but i think that would be kinda cool to do the whole ob/gyn thing with the wax. it would take care of a lot of issues with women.

on second thought, maybe not.

At 11:34 PM, Blogger The Naked Nerd said...

I don't know how you gals put up with that waxing stuff. Sounds far to painful for me. On the other hand Hitler with a harelip seems pretty cool. ;)

At 4:54 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

mr. g,

Why yes, yes I do. I doubt he'll take my calls.


I have a fear of commitment. Therefore, no laser hair removal for me.


Please don't tell Lacy.


I'm sure this look is all the rage where you are.

At 9:42 PM, Blogger Some Random Girl said...

That made me laugh out loud really. I love that last sentence. Your humor is quite funny.

At 5:29 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


Thanks for noticing.


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Name: Mist1
Location: Dirty South, USA

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