To Do:  1. Get Hobby 2. Floss

Here's what I need to do: 1. Get Hobby, 2. Floss. Blogging just gets in the way.


Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Selection Criteria


I am re-evaluating the new shrink.

There are several criteria for picking a good mental health professional. I have my own criteria.

1. Must be within walking distance.
2. Must have good parking because I probably won't feel like walking.
3. Must have good magazines.
4. Must not be magazines that I subscribe to.
5. Must not be cuter than me.
6. Must not mind that I am cuter.

I am also re-evaluating my criteria.

I think that it's more important to get a good look at the other clients in the office. The objective is to determine if they are:

1. As crazy as I am.
2. Less crazy than I am.
3. Crazier than I am.
4. Single.

I showed up early to see who she sees before me. There was no "Do not disturb. Session in progress" sign on the door. So I had to listen at the door for just a second. Or two. I know it was wrong. I'm working on it.

I paged through magazines for another ten minutes before they emerged. The woman appeared totally normal. (Less crazy than I am. Single.)

After my session, I walked out into the waiting room. The couple sitting on the couch looked startled when they saw me. Based on appearance, they are receiving therapy to acclimate to living in modern society and deal with the grief of leaving the hippie commune. (Crazier than I am. Not single.)

I think I am onto something. I just don't know what. Only a $300 deductible remains.

Mist 1


19 Comments:

At 4:22 AM, Blogger Mr. G said...

Call me nuts if you like, but your criteria all sound perfectly logical and reasonable to me.

 
At 4:53 AM, Blogger Irish Church Lady :) said...

Oh Mist. You'd save yourself a bundle if you just let us theraperize you. That's a cool word. There, don't you feel better now?

O but you must kiss your theraperizers before you go!

xo

 
At 5:22 AM, Blogger Cheeky said...

Interesting take...let me know how this selection criteria works for you....so when its my turn to start going...I will know what to look for....

 
At 6:32 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

mr. g,

Very little in my life is "perfectly reasonable." Moderately reasonable -- perhaps.

icl (a.k.a. Webster/Roget),

You make a good point. I wish I could get a refund.

cheeky,

Thus far...limited success. Will keep you posted.

 
At 6:35 AM, Blogger Mr. G said...

ok...so will you settle for perfectly logical and understandably reasonable??

 
At 6:39 AM, Blogger Avitable said...

A better criterium would be if the psychiatrist is crazier than you. It is my experience that most people in the head-shrinking business are nuttier than a squirrel's poop.

 
At 7:08 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

avitable,

Taking notes. Thanks. I've always been curious about squirrel poop. Why do you never see squirrel poop? Why do you never see squirrels in the act?

It must be in the trees.

 
At 7:23 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

mr. g,

I like that. I feel like that should be printed on stationery under my name.

Mist 1
Perfectly logical and understandably reasonable.

New business cards!

 
At 7:48 AM, Blogger Mr. G said...

Mist -

I'm so glad you're satisfied with my suggested tagline. We'll work up a payment plan for my consulting fees later. ;)

Have a great day!!

 
At 11:15 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

mr. g,

Now I will have to add adsense. Please support my sponsors by clicking their links.

 
At 11:35 AM, Blogger The Naked Nerd said...

I've learned to live with being crazy. It's sorta cool because people now I'm crazy, and go out of their way not to upset me. :P

 
At 3:59 PM, Blogger Darlene said...

I think avitable sums it up - my biggest concern would be if the therapist was crazier than me. Or really cute, because then I wouldn't want to dump all my problems on him - I'd be more concerned with giggling and smelling nice...There would be $300 well wasted.....

 
At 8:37 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

darlene,

I think a crazy therapist would be more understanding.

 
At 8:53 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

nerd,

Acceptance of craziness is the first step to sanity.

 
At 8:45 AM, Blogger Echo Mouse said...

This is too funny. I used the second set of criteria that you used! LOL

I've had two therapists. One for general, pre-illness. She was fun but crazy. They all seem to have two doors, so that you can leave without seeing who else is coming or going. Thank goodness for that.

My current therapist and I had a talk about crappy therapists. She said, and I quote "a lot of people don't deal with their own stuff but get into this line of work as a way to avoid themselves". My therapist is not crazy. In fact, she's not even a therapist really, but an RN with many specializiations, one of which is trauma. She's the best person I know because she has her life together and her head on straight. But there are some who are....yep, batshit crazy.

 
At 9:47 AM, Anonymous Kristyn said...

Just go to a single, male doctor then you won't have to worry about your dr. being cuter than you, and you've got the single part covered. :P

Kristyn

 
At 10:40 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

mouse,

Batshit crazy. I think that's what happened to me. I was in a cave and...

kristyn,

Will keep this in mind if current shrink doesn't work out.

 
At 10:49 PM, Anonymous Veronica said...

Hm, I've typically used my boyfriends as my "emotional dumping ground" as one of them called it. Maybe that's why I'm not married.

Note to self: find a shrink.

 
At 5:36 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

veronica,

I've found that the boyfriends can get sick of it. Then I have to do something cute to make up for it. It's tiring...and yet strangely alluring.

 

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