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Tuesday, August 22, 2006
 I love free samples. I don't care what it is. It's free. And free=good. Thursday, the doctor gave me free samples of various medications. He doled them out generously until I got greedy and asked for things with street value. Then he cut me off. Friday, I got a free sample of KY 2-in-1 warming massage oil/personal lubricant. Yes, warming. The tiny bottle was so cute that I promptly dropped it in my purse. It made sense at the time. I keep tiny bottles of hand moisturizer in my purse. I have been known to carry little samples of perfume in my purse. So why not massage oil/personal lubricant? Last night I went shopping. I stopped in a little store that carries silver and turquoise jewelry. I asked to see a tray of rings. I tried several on. Too big. Too chunky. Too complicated. Finally, I found the perfect ring. I slipped it over my finger. It was a little snug. But it looked amazing. I admired my hand for a moment. Then I admired the price tag. I couldn't justify the purchase. And I can justify almost any purchase. I tried to take the ring off. It was stuck. I tugged until my finger turned red and started to swell a bit. I believe that what happened next is what's commonly known as an "Aha!" moment. The salesman paled a little bit when I pulled the massage oil/personal lubricant out of my purse. I avoided eye contact and muttered something like, "Erm, how'd this get in here?" Then I wiggled my finger free. I bought a dream catcher instead. "Sweet dreams," the man said as I left the store. Mist 1
"All of this happened, more or less." - Kurt Vonnegut |
Name: Mist1 Location: Dirty South, USA Yes, it is about me. Thanks for noticing.
123 Valerie Strikes Again
Six Days
Header image photo by Alison.
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25 Comments:
Maybe he said 'sweet dreams' cause he saw all the meds.
that made me laugh out loud
karen,
Right...that's it.
nerd,
I'm pretty sure that's what he was thinking.
Just make sure it's capped tight. That would be nasty if it spilled all over the inside of your purse. Just sayin'
Is your finger still warm?
marie,
Good. It's not good to hold it. Thanks for stopping by.
icl,
Maybe I should put it in a zip-lock baggie.
So...it obviously works as a lubricant...but does it warm too???
If you're willing to sign the releases, I see an endorsement deal in the near future...
I'm all jealous now and want my own free sample of KY 2-in-1 warming massage oil/personal lubricant.
Sooo... sweet dreams?
lori,
Really, who asks this stuff? But since you did...no, the tingle is gone.
Brilliant! You're simply brilliant! My date was bust fyi....
mr. g,
Yes, it warms. Gently.
I have been waiting all my life for an opportunity like this to arise. I am happy to do product endorsements when I believe in the product.
I walked into a prosthetic limb store with a friend and was given a free set of isotoner gloves and Nike socks on the way out...
Free stil equal good?
LOLOL New rule for me. Do not read 3 of your posts in a row. All I'm doing is laughing my fool head off and have nothing good to say.
You are too funny! :)
jali,
I wouldn't call them sweet dreams. I'd say they were slippery dreams.
miss britt,
The guy in the store never saw it coming either.
Your funny. I bet the look on his face was priceless. You should have asked him to "bag your purchase quickly as you needed to get home before the warming wore off", you would have made HIM have slippery dreams :)
dallas,
I have my moments of genius. Sorry about the date. You should have brought a little KY 2-in-1.
mindless,
A little dab will do ya. There's still plenty left.
That is too freakin' funny. I will openly admit that I carry a small bottle of KY in my purse too, but it has nothing to do with jewelry :D
Glad to hear you found some use for the little freebie. ;) I mean, I can't count the number of times I've tried on jewelry and couldn't get it off...maybe I should start carying "massage oil" in my purse.
Kristyn
mayren,
You should have made a trade with someone who needed those items. Free is always good.
echo,
Laughing burns calories.
meg,
I would have wanted a discount for that.
Where does one get a free sample of the KY?
Wonder if it could double as lip gloss?
anastasia,
My career in product endorsement is budding.
trying,
Girl after my own heart. Thanks for coming by.
kristyn,
If I could have bought the ring, I would have. Thank Gawd for KY
sabilak,
I don't even know what to say about the whole lip gloss thing. Too many off-color comments.
k-y in the purse - you never know when you'll need it! It's kinda like an all-in-one tool that no woman should leave home without.
hey - you can become the new ad exec for KY products...your slogan can be "KY Warming Lubricant - It's Not Just For Your Crotch Anymore".
darlene,
You have an amazing way with words. Poetic.
darlene,
Never leave home without it.
Wait, I think that slogan's already taken.
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