To Do:  1. Get Hobby 2. Floss

Here's what I need to do: 1. Get Hobby, 2. Floss. Blogging just gets in the way.


Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Free Samples



I love free samples. I don't care what it is. It's free. And free=good.

Thursday, the doctor gave me free samples of various medications. He doled them out generously until I got greedy and asked for things with street value. Then he cut me off.

Friday, I got a free sample of KY 2-in-1 warming massage oil/personal lubricant. Yes, warming. The tiny bottle was so cute that I promptly dropped it in my purse. It made sense at the time. I keep tiny bottles of hand moisturizer in my purse. I have been known to carry little samples of perfume in my purse. So why not massage oil/personal lubricant?

Last night I went shopping. I stopped in a little store that carries silver and turquoise jewelry. I asked to see a tray of rings. I tried several on. Too big. Too chunky. Too complicated. Finally, I found the perfect ring. I slipped it over my finger. It was a little snug. But it looked amazing.

I admired my hand for a moment. Then I admired the price tag. I couldn't justify the purchase. And I can justify almost any purchase.

I tried to take the ring off. It was stuck. I tugged until my finger turned red and started to swell a bit.

I believe that what happened next is what's commonly known as an "Aha!" moment.

The salesman paled a little bit when I pulled the massage oil/personal lubricant out of my purse. I avoided eye contact and muttered something like, "Erm, how'd this get in here?"

Then I wiggled my finger free.

I bought a dream catcher instead. "Sweet dreams," the man said as I left the store.

Mist 1


29 Comments:

At 8:31 PM, Blogger old lady said...

Maybe he said 'sweet dreams' cause he saw all the meds.

 
At 12:14 AM, Blogger The Naked Nerd said...

Yea I know what he was thinking. Well if he's anything like me, his mind is always in the gutter. ;)

 
At 4:11 AM, Blogger Marie said...

that made me laugh out loud

 
At 4:37 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

karen,

Right...that's it.

nerd,

I'm pretty sure that's what he was thinking.

 
At 5:08 AM, Blogger Irish Church Lady :) said...

Just make sure it's capped tight. That would be nasty if it spilled all over the inside of your purse. Just sayin'

 
At 5:14 AM, Blogger LoRi~fLoWer said...

Is your finger still warm?

 
At 5:57 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

marie,

Good. It's not good to hold it. Thanks for stopping by.

icl,

Maybe I should put it in a zip-lock baggie.

 
At 6:54 AM, Blogger Mr. G said...

So...it obviously works as a lubricant...but does it warm too???


If you're willing to sign the releases, I see an endorsement deal in the near future...

 
At 7:21 AM, Blogger jali said...

I'm all jealous now and want my own free sample of KY 2-in-1 warming massage oil/personal lubricant.

Sooo... sweet dreams?

 
At 7:32 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

lori,

Really, who asks this stuff? But since you did...no, the tingle is gone.

 
At 7:40 AM, Blogger Miss Britt said...

ROTFLMAO... you never cease to amaze me. I'm reading this thinking "yeah, I like free stuff...ooh... free drugs, i like what you've done there"

and then WHAM with the personal lube in a jewelry store. Never saw that coming.

 
At 8:46 AM, Blogger Dallas DYSfunction said...

Brilliant! You're simply brilliant! My date was bust fyi....

 
At 8:48 AM, Blogger Mindless Dribbler said...

Whao Mist1...now, how do you justify wasting personal lubricant on a ring? Especially seeing how it was the "warming" kind....

 
At 9:18 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

mr. g,

Yes, it warms. Gently.

I have been waiting all my life for an opportunity like this to arise. I am happy to do product endorsements when I believe in the product.

 
At 9:35 AM, Blogger Mayren said...

I walked into a prosthetic limb store with a friend and was given a free set of isotoner gloves and Nike socks on the way out...

Free stil equal good?

 
At 9:52 AM, Blogger Echo Mouse said...

LOLOL New rule for me. Do not read 3 of your posts in a row. All I'm doing is laughing my fool head off and have nothing good to say.

You are too funny! :)

 
At 10:51 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

jali,

I wouldn't call them sweet dreams. I'd say they were slippery dreams.

miss britt,

The guy in the store never saw it coming either.

 
At 11:40 AM, Blogger Meg said...

Your funny. I bet the look on his face was priceless. You should have asked him to "bag your purchase quickly as you needed to get home before the warming wore off", you would have made HIM have slippery dreams :)

 
At 1:01 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

dallas,

I have my moments of genius. Sorry about the date. You should have brought a little KY 2-in-1.

mindless,

A little dab will do ya. There's still plenty left.

 
At 1:52 PM, Blogger anastasia said...

Ok, now I have to say, what ever product you would put out....I would be buying,your a thinker!!! Ya know, actually, personal lubricant isn't a bad thing to carry around....'cause you never know!!!

 
At 2:31 PM, Blogger Trying2BMe said...

That is too freakin' funny. I will openly admit that I carry a small bottle of KY in my purse too, but it has nothing to do with jewelry :D

 
At 3:46 PM, Anonymous KristynMarie said...

Glad to hear you found some use for the little freebie. ;) I mean, I can't count the number of times I've tried on jewelry and couldn't get it off...maybe I should start carying "massage oil" in my purse.

Kristyn

 
At 4:02 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

mayren,

You should have made a trade with someone who needed those items. Free is always good.

echo,

Laughing burns calories.

meg,

I would have wanted a discount for that.

 
At 6:32 PM, Blogger SabilaK said...

Where does one get a free sample of the KY?
Wonder if it could double as lip gloss?

 
At 8:51 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

anastasia,

My career in product endorsement is budding.

trying,

Girl after my own heart. Thanks for coming by.

kristyn,

If I could have bought the ring, I would have. Thank Gawd for KY

sabilak,

I don't even know what to say about the whole lip gloss thing. Too many off-color comments.

 
At 8:40 AM, Blogger Darlene said...

k-y in the purse - you never know when you'll need it! It's kinda like an all-in-one tool that no woman should leave home without.

 
At 9:55 AM, Blogger Darlene said...

hey - you can become the new ad exec for KY products...your slogan can be "KY Warming Lubricant - It's Not Just For Your Crotch Anymore".

 
At 9:40 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

darlene,

You have an amazing way with words. Poetic.

 
At 9:46 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

darlene,

Never leave home without it.

Wait, I think that slogan's already taken.

 

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