To Do:  1. Get Hobby 2. Floss

Here's what I need to do: 1. Get Hobby, 2. Floss. Blogging just gets in the way.


Friday, July 28, 2006

Dude, Where's My Boyfriend?



My car's name is "My Boyfriend." This name is very practical. Consider the following scenarios:

#1: At the mall. Eddie (entire mouth of gold teeth) wants my phone number. I simply say, "I'm sorry, I'd love to talk to you, but My Boyfriend is in the parking lot waiting for me."

#2: At a dull work related event. Everyone wants to hear me tell the story about the time I ________ (fill in the blank) again. I simply say, "Oh, it's really not that interesting the 40th time. I really should be going. My Boyfriend is ready to take me home."

Yes, I am always thinking.

He's very special to me. He takes me everywhere and he's very dependable. He could bathe more, but I won't hold that against him.

Last night, I lost My Boyfriend. I left him outside and told him that I was only going to run in for a second, say hi to a few people, play a game or two of Golden Tee golf and then we could go home. Apparently, I took too long.

When I walked out, I went to the place where My Boyfriend is usually waiting. He was not there. I walked up the parking lot, down the sidewalk, and through an alley. Nothing. I began to ask people, "have you seen My Boyfriend? He was just here a minute ago." Nobody had seen My Boyfriend.

Not one to panic, I decided that the best thing to do would be to sit down and think (drink). In a bar. For several hours. Sometimes thinking (drinking) makes me have to pee. I wobbled down the hall to the restroom when it hit me. I remembered where I left My Boyfriend.

Sure enough, there he was. He was parked on the street. Directly in front of me. I had probably walked by him two or three times earlier that evening.

Clearly, I needed a ride home.

I went back to the bar and announced, "I'm leaving My Boyfriend tonight. Does anyone want to take me home?"


Mist 1


32 Comments:

At 6:51 AM, Blogger Mr. G said...

and here I was thinking that only guys named their cars....guess that'll learn me for thinkin'. LOL!!

BTW - my car is Baby.

 
At 8:19 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

mr. g,

Baby and Mr. G

It sounds like a tv show. Have you thought about approaching a network?

 
At 8:26 AM, Blogger The Naked Nerd said...

Now that's a cool idea for a car name. I have to admit it helps make great excuses, and you don't even have to lie! Have a nice weekend Mist. :)

 
At 8:29 AM, Blogger Schell said...

We've all lost our boyfriends (cars) at some point, I know. It's just one of those things in life that happens. It goes with our minds I'm sure. Have a good day.

 
At 8:44 AM, Blogger Darlene said...

I lose my boyfreind every time I go to the grocery store. It's gotten so bad that I've had to bring along one of my kids (with the promise that I'll buy them a present). Damn boyfriends never stay where you tell them to.

 
At 8:45 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

nerd,

Yes, that's the beauty of My Boyfriend. Have a great weekend.

schell,

I'm just happy to have him back. I hope I can get my mind back too.

 
At 8:49 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

darlene,

Sounds like you need a shorter leash for him. Putting the kids on him is brilliant though.

 
At 10:26 AM, Blogger Avitable said...

You could also name other objects names that would give you more excuses. Other than the trite "name my vibrator 'My Man'", you could name your front door "My Guy", as in "I've got to get home and bang my guy", your TV "My cuddle-lumpkins" (I have an evening with my cuddle-lumpkins planned), and your roof "My boo" (I get to sleep under my boo tonight).

Wow, that sounded so clever when I was thinking it. Sigh.

 
At 10:52 AM, Blogger Mr. G said...

Mist - I actually have rejection letters from all of the big 3 - but I haven't heard from the WB yet, so there's still hope!!!

Have a great weekend!!

 
At 11:02 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

avitable,

All good suggestions. However, my vibrator's name is B.O.B.

Battery Operated Boyfriend

 
At 11:36 AM, Blogger Meg said...

HA HA HA HA.......OMG, I was so ready to make a comment about losing my boyfriend or something witty on that order, and then I got to the end....my vibrators name is BOB too!!! That is soooo funny. My niece and I are always bragging about our B/F BOB and how "wonderful he was last night" everyone else in the family doesn't get it....they just want to meet our BOBs. LOL

Have a great weekend!!!

 
At 11:43 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

mr. g,

I want to be the voice of Baby.

 
At 12:39 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

meg,

I keep a glass of water on my nightstand. B.O.B. keeps AA batteries there.

 
At 1:20 PM, Blogger old lady said...

ROFL

 
At 4:18 PM, Blogger anastasia said...

First of all, B.O.B., best friend a girl could ever have, really cheap up keep!!!! He doesn't even want anything in return, and he'll do whatever you want, whenever, for as long as you want and he doesn't run his mouth afterwards and you don't have to make him anything to eat!! Only downfall, he can't talk dirty, I mean, when your in the mood for it!!!

 
At 8:47 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

karen,

You call your B.O.B. ROFL? Or is that what you two do together? Freaky. Cool.

anastasia,

Truer words have never been typed, my friend.

Suggestion: When B.O.B. feels dirty, clean him with a gentle detergent.

 
At 10:34 PM, Blogger Irish Church Lady :) said...

I don't have a B.O.B. but I do have a Boyfriend. Hubby doesn't care about the Boyfriend but do you think he'll mind if a get a B.O.B.?

 
At 11:03 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

icl,

You've mentioned before that Hubby likes toes, he won't mind a B.O.B. in your life. He sounds like a reasonable guy.

 
At 10:06 AM, Blogger Echo Mouse said...

LOLOL You should be writing for television. This is too good!

I call my vehicle "the Toy" or "My Toy". I suppose I could add "Boy" to that and make it my "Boy Toy". Which might fit because it's an SUV and I am over 40. LOL

As for B.O.B.....holy hell...my former boss was named Bob. I don't even want to go there. Ewwwwwww

 
At 3:00 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

mouse,

Thanks.


I think my next car will be named, "The Pool Boy."

B.O.B. is not my boss. I tell him what to do.

 
At 3:37 PM, Blogger The Mullet God of Whit said...

I just saw that movie "My Super Ex-Girlfriend". I am thinking that maybe if you get KIT (the talking car from the 80's) you could come out with a remake for the big screen. KIT could be your boyfriend! Wadda Ya Think?

 
At 4:52 PM, Blogger Schell said...

Oh yeah!!! Can't wait for another post Mist.

 
At 6:03 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

mullett,

I will need an agent.

schell,

Wait for it...

 
At 6:32 AM, Blogger MG & AF said...

You're already looking for a new boyfriend? Don't you have enough girlfriend?! I am sure someone will take you home. Just wear some low cut jeans and smallest t-shirt. Thats what works for me.

 
At 6:35 AM, Anonymous KristynMarie said...

If I told my husband that my "boyfriend" was waiting for me outside, and that I had to go, he's probably be jealous! ;)

KristynMarie

 
At 7:04 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

mg & af,

Get out of my closet.

kristynmarie,

Okay, so it's not a good idea with your husband. But when Eddie (remember the gold teeth?) approaches, you'll thank me.

 
At 1:41 PM, Blogger Dallas DYSfunction said...

I LOVE THIS BLOG! You crack me up!

 
At 8:36 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

dallas,

Thanks for coming by. I crack me up to sometimes.

 
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