Dude, Where's My Boyfriend?
My car's name is "My Boyfriend." This name is very practical. Consider the following scenarios:
#1: At the mall. Eddie (entire mouth of gold teeth) wants my phone number. I simply say, "I'm sorry, I'd love to talk to you, but My Boyfriend is in the parking lot waiting for me."
#2: At a dull work related event. Everyone wants to hear me tell the story about the time I ________ (fill in the blank) again. I simply say, "Oh, it's really not that interesting the 40th time. I really should be going. My Boyfriend is ready to take me home."
Yes, I am always thinking.
He's very special to me. He takes me everywhere and he's very dependable. He could bathe more, but I won't hold that against him.
Last night, I lost My Boyfriend. I left him outside and told him that I was only going to run in for a second, say hi to a few people, play a game or two of Golden Tee golf and then we could go home. Apparently, I took too long.
When I walked out, I went to the place where My Boyfriend is usually waiting. He was not there. I walked up the parking lot, down the sidewalk, and through an alley. Nothing. I began to ask people, "have you seen My Boyfriend? He was just here a minute ago." Nobody had seen My Boyfriend.
Not one to panic, I decided that the best thing to do would be to sit down and think (drink). In a bar. For several hours. Sometimes thinking (drinking) makes me have to pee. I wobbled down the hall to the restroom when it hit me. I remembered where I left My Boyfriend.
Sure enough, there he was. He was parked on the street. Directly in front of me. I had probably walked by him two or three times earlier that evening.
Clearly, I needed a ride home.
I went back to the bar and announced, "I'm leaving My Boyfriend tonight. Does anyone want to take me home?"
Mist 1
Posted by Mist1 @ 8:00 AM
27 Comments:
and here I was thinking that only guys named their cars....guess that'll learn me for thinkin'. LOL!!
BTW - my car is Baby.
mr. g,
Baby and Mr. G
It sounds like a tv show. Have you thought about approaching a network?
We've all lost our boyfriends (cars) at some point, I know. It's just one of those things in life that happens. It goes with our minds I'm sure. Have a good day.
I lose my boyfreind every time I go to the grocery store. It's gotten so bad that I've had to bring along one of my kids (with the promise that I'll buy them a present). Damn boyfriends never stay where you tell them to.
nerd,
Yes, that's the beauty of My Boyfriend. Have a great weekend.
schell,
I'm just happy to have him back. I hope I can get my mind back too.
darlene,
Sounds like you need a shorter leash for him. Putting the kids on him is brilliant though.
You could also name other objects names that would give you more excuses. Other than the trite "name my vibrator 'My Man'", you could name your front door "My Guy", as in "I've got to get home and bang my guy", your TV "My cuddle-lumpkins" (I have an evening with my cuddle-lumpkins planned), and your roof "My boo" (I get to sleep under my boo tonight).
Wow, that sounded so clever when I was thinking it. Sigh.
Mist - I actually have rejection letters from all of the big 3 - but I haven't heard from the WB yet, so there's still hope!!!
Have a great weekend!!
avitable,
All good suggestions. However, my vibrator's name is B.O.B.
Battery Operated Boyfriend
HA HA HA HA.......OMG, I was so ready to make a comment about losing my boyfriend or something witty on that order, and then I got to the end....my vibrators name is BOB too!!! That is soooo funny. My niece and I are always bragging about our B/F BOB and how "wonderful he was last night" everyone else in the family doesn't get it....they just want to meet our BOBs. LOL
Have a great weekend!!!
mr. g,
I want to be the voice of Baby.
meg,
I keep a glass of water on my nightstand. B.O.B. keeps AA batteries there.
ROFL
karen,
You call your B.O.B. ROFL? Or is that what you two do together? Freaky. Cool.
anastasia,
Truer words have never been typed, my friend.
Suggestion: When B.O.B. feels dirty, clean him with a gentle detergent.
I don't have a B.O.B. but I do have a Boyfriend. Hubby doesn't care about the Boyfriend but do you think he'll mind if a get a B.O.B.?
icl,
You've mentioned before that Hubby likes toes, he won't mind a B.O.B. in your life. He sounds like a reasonable guy.
LOLOL You should be writing for television. This is too good!
I call my vehicle "the Toy" or "My Toy". I suppose I could add "Boy" to that and make it my "Boy Toy". Which might fit because it's an SUV and I am over 40. LOL
As for B.O.B.....holy hell...my former boss was named Bob. I don't even want to go there. Ewwwwwww
mouse,
Thanks.
I think my next car will be named, "The Pool Boy."
B.O.B. is not my boss. I tell him what to do.
Oh yeah!!! Can't wait for another post Mist.
mullett,
I will need an agent.
schell,
Wait for it...
If I told my husband that my "boyfriend" was waiting for me outside, and that I had to go, he's probably be jealous! ;)
KristynMarie
mg & af,
Get out of my closet.
kristynmarie,
Okay, so it's not a good idea with your husband. But when Eddie (remember the gold teeth?) approaches, you'll thank me.
I LOVE THIS BLOG! You crack me up!
dallas,
Thanks for coming by. I crack me up to sometimes.
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