To Do:  1. Get Hobby 2. Floss

Here's what I need to do: 1. Get Hobby, 2. Floss. Blogging just gets in the way.


Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I Work in the South



Recently, I was reading the minutes of a committee meeting that I had missed. I am sorry that I missed this one; it was a good one. Lots of important decisions were made.

Decision #1: There will be no more prayer before meetings. The committee actually had to vote three times on this one to finalize it. Motions have been made to have a moment of silence. Apparently, some people are offended by beginning a meeting with a prayer. I don't understand this; I pray all the way through meetings. I pray that I can stay awake. I pray that they will serve me lunch. I pray that no one will expect me to give my report. I pray that the fire alarm will sound. I plan to continue this kind of prayer until I see some new bylaws.

Decision #2: There cannot be alcohol and guns at any meeting. From now on, there can be only alcohol or only guns. Not both. I am not making this up. If there is to be drinking (always makes the meeting more enjoyable), committee members are to leave all firearms at home. If the meeting calls for gunslinging (and really, what meeting doesn't?), there will be no alcohol served. I know that this poses a dilemma for several committee members. If I had been in attendance, I would have stood up and offered the following suggestion.

Mist 1: Hey, I know what let's do. Y'all listen up. I'm gonna put a tape line down the middle of this here floor. If'n you have a gun, stay over on this here side of the tape. If'n you plan on drinkin', stay on yonder side of the tape.

Committee Members: Much groaning and booing in unison.

Mist 1


21 Comments:

At 6:20 AM, Blogger Mr. G said...

Mist...I'm with you on the prayer thing....as for the guns and alcohol part of the resolutions from the last meeting...ummmm...nope got nothin'.

Have a great day!!

 
At 7:21 AM, Blogger Avitable said...

What exactly type of work do you do? I'm going to guess either a law firm or some type of manufacturing company.

 
At 9:16 AM, Blogger Meg said...

HA HA HA funny stuff. I say put the tape down the middle...say a quick prayer and holler "go" as you walk out the door. When you come back in, whoever is still standing gets the floor. If nothing else it would make those damn long boring meetings a little more interesting.

 
At 10:12 AM, Blogger anastasia said...

I'll say, your a thinker, good sugestion, if you don't mind I'm gonna use this sugestion at my next morning meeting!!!

 
At 10:22 AM, Blogger speckledpup said...

god love their hearts.

and they're probably good people. good people discussing silly things that is.

 
At 12:28 PM, Blogger K said...

can i pray as i bring guns and booze into the next meeting, or will that cause too much confusion?

 
At 12:28 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

mr. g,

It's like a system of checks and balances. Eventually, between the guns, alcohol and prayer, we get stuff done.

avitable,

I blog. I wish I could blog from home everyday.

meg,

We are hiring. We could use someone with ideas like yours.

 
At 1:58 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

anastasia,

I am handsomely paid for my great ideas.

pup,

Great people. Love 'em. Gotta wear that flak vest.

 
At 2:02 PM, Blogger Schell said...

Your sense of humour is great. I bookmarked you yesterday. I will look forward to your blogging.

 
At 4:17 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

k,

You can be committee chair. That's what I like about you. Question authority!

Schell,

Thanks for dropping by. For some reason I feel like being "bookmarked" should be dirty. Hey baby, how'd you like to get bookmarked?

 
At 4:26 PM, Blogger Irish Church Lady :) said...

I don't do well with guns. I pray all the time. Should I go to the right or the left?

 
At 4:31 PM, Blogger Irish Church Lady :) said...

Did you get my post?....my wireless dropped me. It was good ...mever to be repeated again....omg I love blog drunking!

 
At 4:32 PM, Blogger Irish Church Lady :) said...

o f! you've got that crappy comment moderation on! Love you!

 
At 8:46 PM, Blogger kuri said...

Friends don't let friends shoot drunk.

 
At 10:52 PM, Blogger The Naked Nerd said...

LMFAO I would love to go to a meeting drunk and packing heat! Just too funny Mist. :)

 
At 6:07 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

icl,

Blog drunking? I'm dying over here.

kuri,

These aren't my friends; they're my colleagues.

nerd,

C'mon, let's us go to a meetin'.

 
At 12:15 PM, Blogger Darlene said...

So, no guns & alcohol together. Did they mention anything about strippers?

 
At 5:58 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

darlene,

Strippers are okay. Some of the committee members are married to strippers...I mean personal trainers.

 
At 8:48 PM, Blogger Echo Mouse said...

LOL
Ohhh SNAP! Personal Trainers are Strippers. Now there's a fun comment to whisper at the gym.

 
At 2:34 AM, Anonymous Veronica said...

Thank you for this hilarious insight into another culture.

 
At 5:39 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

mouse,

The gym? I drove by one of those once.

veronica,

My college education does not go to waste.

 

Post a Comment

"All of this happened, more or less." - Kurt Vonnegut

ABOUT ME
ABOUT ME
Name: Mist1
Location: Dirty South, USA

Yes, it is about me. Thanks for noticing.

BLOGROLL

123 Valerie Strikes Again
A Day in the Life
A Day in the Wind
Ali Thinks
Allan Thinks
Animal Mind
A View From The Watter's Edge
Avitable
BNR - Blog Name Removed
Briliant Donkey
Burnett's Urban Etiquette
Burt Reynolds' Mustache
c-writing
Cardiac Fantasies
Carnival of the Mundane
Curiosity Killer
Dallas Dysfunction
Dan's Blah Blah Blog
Disgruntled Workforce
DKY Bar and Grill
Exorcise My Devils
Fantasy and Sci-Fi Lovin' Blog
Fresh Air Lover
Guilty With An Explanation
How to go Insane
I Am Woman, See Me Blog!
Intelligent Humor
It's Go Time!
It's No Picknick!
Jester Tunes
Jen (and Andrew)
Just Tug
Karlababble
Ketchup With My Fries, Please
Liner Notes
Little White Liar
Maiden New York
Mayren Abashed
Meloncutter Musings
Mindy Does Minneapolis
Miss Britt
Much Ado about sumthin!
Muffin 53
Pointless Banter
Pointless Drivel
Q's Corner
Random Moments
Roadtrip
Sanity Optional
Single Life As I Know It
Secret Suburban Misfit
Southern Circle of Hell
Studio-Twenty-Three
The Assimilated Negro
The Death of Retail Price
The Dragon: 050376
The Morning Meeting
The Post College Years
The Wonderful World of Nothing Worthwhile
Tiny Voices in My Head

NEWEST POSTS

Couch Time
Sprint -- Part Deux
Wardrobe Malfunction
Financial Responsibility
Dead Eye Dick
Magnum, P.I.
Interview With a Therapist
Payback
Customer Service
New Name, New Blog, Same Girl

ARCHIVES

Credits

Header image photo by Alison.

 Subscribe in a reader

 Subscribe to comments

RFS Blog Awards Winner