Can You Spell That?
I like it when I meet people with names more unusual than mine. I never say the things to them that people say to me when they meet me. I don't ask, "is that your last name?" or "is that a family name?" or "what kind of drugs were your parents doing?" because I know what it's like. I just smile and introduce myself. I know what it's like to have to say your name twice when you meet people. I know the feeling that I have when I have to spell my name for people even though it's a common English word that most children know how to spell.In college, my favorite course was taught by Dr. Ira Klein. Instantly, I loved him. I loved his parents even more. I like anyone with a name that is a statement. Dr. Klein's name tells you not only what to call him, but what he does as well.
A few years ago, I dated a man named Jerry Duty. We didn't have much in common, the sex was great and I really enjoyed telling people that I had Jerry Duty. He figured out that I was using him as an excuse to get out of work and he left me.
I'm trying to get better at remembering names. I've tried repeating names when I am introduced to people. I've tried associating names with pictures. None of it works very well. I've resorted to writing down names and a little note about them on a list so that I can recall it later. I try not to do it right in front of them because it makes me look creepy. As I was reading the names of people I've met this week, I decided that my name really isn't that bad. It could be worse.
- Sunday, Titas mixed my paint at the hardware store. I could not help myself and referred to him as Tight-A$$. The color of my paint was slightly off.
- Monday, I was transfered to the voicemail of a man named Reid Ownley. I couldn't be sure that I had heard the recording correctly, so I hung up and called again.
- Tuesday, the new massage therapist at the spa handed me his card. His name is Denis. With one n. Like penis. Only not. I will not be booking services with Denis until he adds another n to his name.
- Yesterday, I batted my eyelashes over a magazine at a man in the book store. He came over and introduced himself. His name was Kurt. "Hi Kurt, I'm rude," I said.
Mist 1
No, Mist
M-i-s-t
Yeah, like Mist.
Posted by Mist1 @ 6:55 AM
108 Comments:
Dammit, where did I put my list of funny names?? I always knew I'd need them some day.
LMAO @ Jerry Duty
There were 2 clients at my previous place of employment whose parents should be incarcerated...and or sentenced to life in rehab. I also feel the judge should gratis the fee for them changing their names since the possibility of them getting a job with those names on the resume in THIS lifetime was slim to none...
Hello, meet "Shithead" (pronounced SHI-Thed)
and you ready for this...
"Marijuana Cocaine Clark."
She preferred that we called her M. C.
So, that's M-I-S-T... like cyst, but with an M as in Mary instead of a C as in cookie. And an I like italian, instead of a Y like yogurt?
Am I getting this right?
So, what's the 1 for? Cuz you're number one?!
My supervisor in my old machine shop, way back in the day, was named Richard Head. I wish I could laugh while writing this. But I'm all laughed out. Six years I worked that job. And Dick - yes, we called him Dick - never quite figured out why his charges never took him super seriously.
I went to school with a kid named Richard Boner. That's right, we called him Dick. Oh, but it get's better - at graduation we discovered that he was Dick Boner III; both his grandfather and his father thought it was a good idea to hand that moniker down...
michael,
C'mon. You can think of one.
tera,
I laughed at Jerry too. He didn't think it was funny.
sheila,
1 is a family name. It's ethnic.
james,
You are kidding, right? I knew a Rich Dixon. I thought that was funny because his dad wasn't rich at all.
his sin,
My mom worked with a Dick Sprat.
While I was in college I had an anatomy professor named Dr. Sexton..
How appropriate I thought my first day of class as I sat in the first row, wearing a trashy shirt that showed off my cleavage...
and true to his name Dr.
Sexton taught us about the sexo...Ohhh how I miss him
Oh...don't you know my friend Mike Hunt? :P
my middle name is starfall.
I once knew a girl named Fonda Cox. And a guy named Richard Dix. (We called him Dick-Dick.)
I once dated a girl named Karen..what was up with that?
Well, R, my last name is kind of silly, so I can dig. I've been called Valerie Flapjack. Valerie Ball Sack. Valerie Back Pack. Valerie Nut Sack.
Actually, maybe my last name just underscores all of the things I love in this world.
There used to be a guy on CNNfn (the now defunct financial TV channel) named Hugh Jorgan... always made me laugh.
I had a roommate in college named Carl Carlson.
My name is pretty uncommon as well... I have learned to pronounce it very deliberately and slowly now so that I only have to repeat it twice before just going ahead and resorting to spelling it out.
One of the best movie quotes ever? To assert otherwise would be inconceivable.
I knew a girl called Hazel Nutt, her father was P(eter)Nutt!
I'm not telling you my real name cos I've heard all the jokes before!
When I meet someone with a strange name, I just assumed their mother had a very hard labor.
I spent time at the hardware store trying to buy caulk. Can you ask the clerks all about their caulks and not crack a smile? It's hard.
I know a guy named John Potts. Everyone calls him Potsie, but I can think of a couple other names that would suit him better.
So if M-I-S-T were to be an acronym what would it stand for?
As a dental nurse I saw lots of silly names, but my fave by a long chalk was Mr and Mrs Glasscock, yup you read it right. The odd thing was that Mrs Glasscok was very insistent we call her Mrs glasock (short a and silent c) where as Mr Glasscock enunciated his name as if it were the two words. I think she was a very nice wife for taking his name at all - that is wifely duty at its essence.
I used to have to do major purchasing for a children's home I worked for. Every trip through the line, I would have to present my credentials and they would have to call someplace to verify that I authorized and legitimate. I was there to witness the phone calls where they would look at my name and slaughter it, adding sounds that were't even close to being represented. There were two standard errors, but the countless inventive ones made me laugh increduluously-where did you go to school bud? What two sounds could an "e" make? I wasn't even a teacher then either-yikes!
Hey nice Princess Bride ref with the nametag-I like it.
There's a gastroenterologist that writes articles for a journal my company publishes. His name.....Dr. Assman. I swear.
I gave up commenting on every one of your blogs, mostly because you get so much commentary that I worry you'll get fired responding to them all. I do, however, read every single one because some days this is the only place I get a laugh.
Speaking of which, you appear to blog only during the work week, which suggests that you must have one hell of a job that provides you with this kind of free time.
So what is it? Concubine to the king? Financial investment genius? Pirate?
My name is Lilian. When I was a kid, people called me Gilligan...
Oh, since everyone else is doing it, here's a list of "weird names I have known":
- Penny Nichols
- Iona Hanky (her sister was "Anita Hanky")
- Tim Burr
The guy that reads the news on the radio is named "Harry Beetle".
My name is Terminally Normal. No, not really, but I had a g/f that called me "short term". I'm still not sure what she meant; I'm afraid to ask.
My name's Yahya (ya-ya) like "yes, yes" in German (insert joke here). In school, no one liked to use my real name, yhey'd call me yuck yuck, hee hee, yo yo, muck muck, yaki yaki etc. Kids are so mean. Can you tell I'm a bit scarred?
You have made me feel a little bit better about giving my son a crazy name. It's a statement.
I think my name speaks for itself.
Strangely enough, I didn't get hassled about all that much growing up.
Being a foot taller than kids in my class probably helped.
i use to know this girl in school whose name in our language means name. so whenever she were to introduce herself she'll say, "hi. my name is name". a lot of people made fun of her because of that. her surname didnt exactly help her either.
but i try not to laugh at it because i dont exactly have the most common name either..
One of my fraternity brothers was named Justin Case...his dad was a boxer who had received 1 or 2 too many head shots by the time he was born.
I once met a Richard Cockabum. He was very grumpy. Dick Cock - a - bum. Sounds like an eighteenth-century porn star. Imagine going through an English public school with a name like that...
Puss
tellin,
I had a professor named Dr. Hymen. I couldn't look him in the eye.
kentucky,
I know his sister Beaver.
jennifer,
Your parents and my parents smoked pot together.
hearts,
Fonda Cox is excellent. Thanks.
mxi,
Dude, who would name a baby Karen?
123,
I'm not a huge fan of flapjacks or back packs.
condo,
Hugh Jorgan! I love that. I'd do him.
lonie,
I love that movie. I like the line, "Does anyone want a peanut?"
akelamalu,
I thought that was your real name.
fab,
I'll have to ask my mom if there's any truth to that.
pool,
I always ask for the caulk and lubricant aisle.
melody,
Melandie isn't even a reasonable name. Why do they add the extra letters?
capt. corky,
Potsie is a cute nickname.
nofear,
Moseying in shoes trampily.
girl,
I'm never changing my last name.
wreck,
I'm always amazed that people can't say my last name.
debbie,
He's perfect for his job.
mystic,
What's a job?
jazz,
I would have called you Lilliputian.
wng,
I knew a Kristin Siemen. I thought that was bad.
nwjr,
Short Term is an excellent name. I have known lots of guys named Short Term.
paz,
I'm scarred too. Come to my support group with me.
yvonne,
What's the name?
peter,
I like last names that start with De or Del or de la.
jos,
I laugh at strange names because I feel their pain.
mr. g,
I knew his sister, Kristin Case. She was on my gymnastics team.
puss,
I would totally date Dick Cockabum.
This post cracked me up - I ihad a girl in my freshmen class who's name was lucy kuntz...needless to say she was teased
"Jerry Duty" is AWESOME! But as a computer geek, "Reid Ownly" has to be the best EVER!
My personal favorite was a spam I got once from "Bob Loblaw".
In high school, I knew a guy named "Robbie Roberts". I called him "Bob Bobs".
For some reason, he hated me.
My first name is Van and it's apparently the word that causes people to say every name besides Van. Vance, Dan, Stan, Vince, etc...anything but Van. My last name is something Armenian that even members in my own family pronounce differently. My name is so tricky I had to give it to my son and see if he could figure it out...we call him Bubba.
p. extra,
What were her parents thinking?
andy,
I bet Bob Bobs still resents that.
furious,
I know a guy named Van. I call him Van Damn! He loves that.
"Trampily..." YES! I like that word!
The first thing I'm asked when people learn my name is if that's my real name. Then it takes about an hour to explain to them how to spell my last name. 5 letters long and still no ever gets the spelling right.
For real, mortgage dude here in Detroit area... Harry Dick. Parental hatred runs deep.
I'd like to think Kurt's heard that before, but peoples just aren't that funny anymore. I hope he went away grateful.
tera,
Trampily is my thing. So are shoes.
karma,
I get the is that your real name question too.
ctw,
Poor Harry. Did he emancipate himself from his parents when he was a child?
booda,
Kurt didn't have the sense of humor that I had expected.
I used to be in law enforcement, and some of the folks I pulled over had amazing names. Not dirty or clever, just horrible. Here are the ones that have stuck in my mind ever since...
Shaliko Maglitto - caught him twice in a month, naked in his car with two different girls...
Lydia Lefthand, Arthur Never-Miss-a-Shot, Foster Kicking Bear, Kathy Redcloud, Hilton Whitedress, Davis Spotted Eagle, Katherine Mankiller - I was stationed close to a reservation.
And my personal favorite, Orfalinda Guadalupe Hinajosa. That one will still be seared into my mind on my death bed...
It's a sign that your parents were hippies.
My name is so common, that if someone said it out loud, like 15 people would be like "huh?"
Everyone just started calling me Nolff.
If he spelled it with two "n"s he'd probably have a bigger pennis.
I bet your name is Jewls Vern.
I had a computer teacher in high school. He was the stereotypical geeky teacher and lived in his parents basement. Name you ask?
Jack Farley Long the SECOND
Not only did his father go by this name, he saw the humor to also refer to his son as it.
There is a girl in my son's class named Lucy Kuntz. Commencement is next Thursday and I'm smiling already just thinking about that poor pricipal.
Am I the only one who didn't get: Dr. Klein's name tells you not only what to call him, but what he does as well.?
klein is german for small, but beyond that I get nothing. ira small? I are a small?
I hate not getting the joke!
his sin,
I grew up near several reservations. I used to wish my last name was Crowfeather or something cool like that.
nolff,
Yes, but your name has cool punctuation.
matt,
I am calling it a pennis from this point forward.
susan,
I love a good family tradition.
blitz,
You and Princess Extraordinaire know the same girl. I find that hard to believe. Which one of you is lying to me?
bob,
I recline. Ira Klein.
Um...
You've met people with names MORE unusual than yours? Um...no.
d'oh. thanks.
jali,
How many people named Jali do you know?
bob,
I should have done an audio post. It would have made more sense.
I like to spell my last name and use strange words as examples.
A as in Afghanistan
V as in vulva
I as in indubitable
T as in testicular
A as in abracadabra
B as in bong
L as in Leif Garrett
E as in Endora, the grandmother on Bewitched
A couple more for your list:
Former co-worker: Richard Johnson. He went by Dick. So redundant.
Former co-worker: Robert Robertson. Similar to Bob Bobs, I called him Bob Bobertson. He replaced Mr. Johnson.
Bobertson was replaced by an illiterate college basketball player with the last name of Bright. I'm pretty sure his middle name was Notso. I fired him and just did his job myself.
Name of attorney: Richard Hackett. Went by Dick. My boss couldn't figure out why I laughed until I referred to Lorraina.
Name of German client: Holger (pronounced like "Hold-jer) Wongel. I wished there were such creatures as wongels. Just so I could really say, "Oh, a wongel! Could I hold your wongel? I was thinking about getting one myself" to someone.
I vote you #1 Picture using The Princess Bride EVER!
I looooove the pic.
Don't get me started on weird names and how they are spelled!
My first name is Lisa but not spelled anything like L I S A. So confusing
Also I thought Mist1 was like
Missed One.
1,
By the power vested in me, by me, I now pronounce you Crowfeather Mist 1
av,
Vulvae are not strange. They are wonderful.
anon,
I knew a Notso once. His last name was Swift. Also, if you are offering, I will totally hold your wongel.
mayren,
I wish I could claim credit for that idea.
scotts,
Do you have extra vowels or consonants or both? And who would name a child Missed? My parents were hippies.
0,
No, that's Ruben's last name. I don't really want to be related to him. That crush has been over since high school.
I don't care what your name is...just don't waste your life chasing after a six-fingered man.
It doesn't always end the way it did for Inigo.
lcg,
I find that a man with two fingers will suffice.
While I'm flattered that you'd hold my wongel, it would be a little weird for a girl to have a wongel. At least in my experience. I prefer to temporarily "borrow" the wongels of unsuspecting men. However, I'd be happy to share a wongel with you! :)
lol, my ex-boyfriend's dad's name was Denis....how I never realized the penis corelation in the 8 years I went out with his son, I'll never know!
anon,
I'll still hold your wongel, but it will be just as friends.
miztris,
When I read the name Denis, in my head it automatically turns in to Penis. I also feel this way about the words: vodka, tequila, firefighter, UPS shorts, Johnny Depp, and sofa, among other words.
beg pardon? i mist that.
I once knew a cop with the last name cuffs. I also knew a Colonel Buck Rogers and met a girl with the last name Phenis.
maximo,
Go ahead and tease me. I've heard them all.
pookie,
Lord, don't these people know that they can change their names?
1,
OK< How about Feeds The Ducks Mist 1?
I went to middle school with a guy who's last name was Beer. He must have been popular in college or women made jokes very similar to your Jerry Duty comments.
my name is totally typical and easy to spell. but its mine... so i say it proudly. of course my middle name, well, that is the shame of the flow between the first name and last name.
I love the jerry duty... tee hee. I did date three brothers before. that was great fun!
I too have a stupid name.
Nothing witty here...
move along... nothing to read...
oh wait... I did this puzzled online called Qwyzzle... and one of the clues was: "Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116". Google and you'll get a few hits! It's pronounced /'al bin/. Seriously, look it up on wikipedia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116
Weird.
First, I was over at Empress Bee's place and fell of my chair with your question about the "love bugs". I was laughing so hard I was crying.
You are plain sick Mist. I really like that about you. Have a great day.
i knew a guy named Marlin Beever- he wasn't outdoorsey-he was a farm kid
0,
I'll have to take a vision quest and get back to you.
velvet,
I could never marry him. Mist Beer sounds so sad.
melanie,
The man's name was Three Brothers?
winter,
If those of us with stupid names would organize, we could take over the world.
essa,
Parents suck.
comedy,
I call them Mahogany Birds. I think it sounds nicer.
meth,
Hey, Marlin knew my beaver. Strange coincidence? I doubt it.
Thanks for coming by...and you don't mind if I call you meth, do you?
I don't even tell people my name anymore - I just immediately spell it for them. They are going to get it wrong no matter what....No, C-A-R-M-E-N is NOT correct.
k-a-r-m-y-n,
I am doing my best.
My favorite customer at the bank was George G. George. Yep, you guessed it; his middle name was George. Not very imaginative, those parents. Or, they were stutterers.
nance,
So nice, they had to name him twice.
I once knew a girl named Dixie Cummings. I think her mother moonlighted as a porn star.
I have introduced myself as Inigo Montoya on more than one occasion. It never fails to get a response, sometimes not the kind I like either.
Ooh, and I forgot about Slappy Smally, Jr. -- because apparently naming one person that name wasn't bad enough!
I'm actually quite suprised people can't get the name 'Mist' right. I'm also amazed thats acutally your real name, don't know why but it only dawned on me now that that is fact. Neat.
With a name like Orhan you can safely assume I have the same troubles as you do, and the same with remembering names aswell. The other night I got a lift home from a sales-rep who I'm sure was named Dominic, but it was Paul. He didn't tell me until the end of the trip. Who does that?!
O-R-H-A-N
And you roll the 'R' you bastard guy!
Well, the best I can figure, they add the extra letters because they are stoo-pid.....
OK I have said it in other comments so I guess it won't hurt to type it here (unless you have a special brand of crazy coming through)
L I I S E
Yup, the mom she smoked of the pot.
Where was I today that I Mist all this? Ah, yeah, out at the damn pool with my kids. Is it September, yet?
Fun post...
I know a woman who works at the health department, and she told me that, several times, she's run across girls named Claumidia. So far, she has yet to run across a woman named Claumidia who has Chlamydia, but I'm sure it'll happen eventually.
Dick Trickle, the racecar driver, is my all time favorite name of all time.
My real name is Marine. I absolutely L-O-V-E it! But people seen to refuse to accept it as a name. It’s a military branch all right. But hell, it cant be my name. So they say!
I also knew a woman named Ouida (pronounced "Wee'da.") Peebles.
It sounded so Presidential.
When you went to Jerry Duty, did you at least get seven dollars a day?
When you told your friends you were leaving to see him did you make it sound like a chore? "I have to go do Jerry Duty again."
I had a friend who grew up in a town that family in it with the surname Silva. The three sons the parents had were named Quick, Sterling, and Heigho. I wish it were a lie.
There used to be a coach on the San Francisco Giants name Dick Pole.
legal,
What'd you say about her mama?
jack,
It's probably the six fingers that people are reacting to.
orhan,
He probably looked like a Dominic.
melody,
Many people suffer from stupidity.
scotts,
I have lots of crazies here. I'm not sure if they're special.
fringes,
You're thinking of changing your name, right? Maybe you'd like to use of the suggestions here.
capt. smack,
That has a lovely ring to it. It sounds better than clap.
lee,
No kidding. You have to be brave to leave the house with that name.
misstress,
I love Marine's too.
hearts,
If you have Peebles as a last name, nothing sounds presidential.
othur,
I got at least seven dollars from Jerry. Sometimes I got dinner too.
eyelash-batting. underrated female tactic.
I am currently reading a book where one of the bad guys is named Jack Schitt. I think that's an excellent name.
brooklyn,
You should see these lashes.
jay,
I don't give a Schitt what anyone says, that's a fabulous name.
My first daughter was delivered by Dr. Feeler.
My husband's vasectomy was performed by Dr. Cupp.
No joke.
ee,
Dr. Feeler is really, really bad.
Jacquai- it sounds like Ju-kiy. Mostly people just call him "Jackie" or "Jaquan" or "Hey you little mixed up boy who will most definitely grow up with a complex because your mom gave you a stupid name."
Oh, you're good. You're very very good.
This comment has been removed by the author.
I mispelled the name of an old friend... her name is Dorcas Fuk. No joke. She kept going around telling people that it's some name from the bible.
yvonne,
Oh, how the children suffer.
curiosity,
I don't know Dorcas Fuk, but I've encountered her brother, Dumbas Fuk.
A friend had a professor named Rekdal. I asked what her first name was and my friend said, "Paisley." Paisley Rekdal. I figured she had to love her husband A LOT to take that name on.
The worst one I ever heard was when I worked at the hospital I walked in the ER one day to make a delivery and the nurses were all dying laughing. Apparently the young lady outside in the waiting room had the misfortune of being named Clymidia. I pretty much did the "pretend I know whats so funny laugh along with them" thing even though I didn't get it(the joke not clymidia) at the time but found out later when I looked it up. Some people never cease to amaze me.
BD
amisare,
I will never experience a love like that.
bd,
I am happy to say that I have never known Chlamydia intimately.
i met a used car salesman. his name was wayne Kurr.
kris,
I dated wanker too. He wasn't selling cars.
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