This post is for a good cause.
I know that the people who read and comment here are philanthropic. You share with me every day in your comments and with your words of encouragement, and your LOLs. Today, I am asking you to help out a blogger who used to read my blog. I am certain that if we all pull together, we can make a change in one man's life. Together, we are powerful. We can make a difference.
Recently I got the following email from this man:
I responded politely and told him that I was weirded out by his email and wished him the best of luck in his relationship with the love of his life. Then, I got an email from the love of his life. Please see segment of her email below:
...in order to believe him I asked him to write that email to you and to everyone else he had such conversations with, so if you're truly "weirded out" and your intentions were also innocent, I apologize for causing you concern. I just wanted to assure you that he's not a weirdo, and that he wrote that email at my urging.
And that's how I found out this poor man's plight. Apparently the love of his life has removed his testicles and is holding them hostage. My sources tell me that they are in a jar in her Curio cabinet. This is a crime against humanity and should not be allowed to continue in this day and age. This is the United States of America. How can we turn our backs and pretend not to see such heinous acts of cruelty? Not on my watch, I say.
Won't you consider joining Save the Testicles, Inc. and me in our campaign to retrieve this poor man's balls from a terrible fate? Your contribution will not only go to rescue this man's nuts, but will support thousands of emasculated men worldwide. You may even know a man who is living a life without possession of his own testicles. The National Association for Ball Reclamation states that in 2006 four out of every 12 testicles may be in this situation. That is like a third of all men unless some of them only had one testicle to start with, so really, it could be anyone's guess. Experts at Save the Testicles, Inc. feel that this figure is a gross underestimate.
Fortunately, men like this are not without help. That's where you come in. Your donation will support a Testicular Reconnaissance Force comprised of volunteers who will take back entrapped balls, by force if necessary. Your contributions don't stop there, education and awareness are a cornerstone of Save the Testicles, and our efforts have brought bright futures to testicles in countries like Malawi and Iowa.
Please, take a moment and show your support by becoming a nut sponsor. Every time someone becomes a sponsor, two balls are forever changed. With your monthly contribution (less than the cost of a cup of coffee), you will receive regular letters and photos from your sponsored testicles. The special relationship that you can develop with your sponsored balls is something that you and your balls will cherish forever.
PS: I wish the happy couple all the best. I give it a year.