To Do:  1. Get Hobby 2. Floss

Here's what I need to do: 1. Get Hobby, 2. Floss. Blogging just gets in the way.


Thursday, August 24, 2006

Extra Parts



I took my car (a.k.a. My Boyfriend) in for maintenance last night. Took care of his fluids. Lubed him up. Made him feel good. I get a little jealous when those other guys have their hands all over him, but it's only fair. He never complains when I get a massage. Why should I mind when he gets a little foreplay?

I always feel good about myself when I take him in for an oil change or to get his brakes fixed. I have not always been so good to cars. I once built a car out of pieces that had fallen off of my previous car. I picked the items up from the side of the road and stowed them in the trunk until it was time to create a new vehicle.

I have vowed that this time would be different.

I was doing okay for a while. Then a really large black plastic piece came loose from the front end of the car. I dragged it for several miles before I decided to pull over and tear it all the way off. It didn't really seem essential. Less drag means better gas mileage. Problem solved.

I carried that piece around with me in the trunk for several months. Recently, I decided that I was going to throw it away. I was not going to go down the same road as I had with the last car.

Everything was going so well.

Apparently, my car came with a few extra parts. The mechanic assured me that these parts aren't absolutely necessary. I mean, sure...if I want to control the amount of air intake from the sides of the radiator I might consider putting the pieces back on. But really, it's the sides. Who gives a f*ck about the sides?

When I comb my hair (rare), do I look at the sides of my head? No. I look at the front. That's all that matters. When I brush my teeth, do I brush the sides of my teeth? No. I brush the ones in front. Again, they're all that matter. Cars are probably much the same.

So now I have two small black plastic flaps in my trunk. I also have a wig, a formal dress, a pair of heels, a mask, and a roll of toilet paper, but that sh*t's practical.

Mist 1


24 Comments:

At 5:23 AM, Blogger Mr. G said...

I so want to make a comment about women that carry a wig, heels and a mask in their car because they're practical...but you've made it too easy for me...taken all the fun out of the comment. Party pooper!

Oh wait...is that what the toilet paper is for????

 
At 5:26 AM, Blogger Avitable said...

I had that same thing happen to me. What type of boyfriend do you have?

 
At 6:34 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

mr. g,

A girl just never knows when she's going to need these items.

The toilet paper helps me with my fear of public restrooms.

avitable,

My Boyfriend's a Nissan. Wanna swap parts?

 
At 7:04 AM, Blogger The Naked Nerd said...

LOL When boyfriend's and girlfriend's start losing parts this generally not a good sign.

 
At 7:15 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

nerd,

Ever notice that "strap on" is "no parts" backwards?

 
At 7:17 AM, Blogger Miss Britt said...

LOL - you do sarcasm SOOOO well!

 
At 7:25 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

miss britt,

Thanks. Wait...are you being sarcastic?

 
At 8:40 AM, Blogger Avitable said...

Mine's also Japanese, but from the Camry family. I don't think they're compatible.

 
At 8:52 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

avitable,

Well, if you ever want to make your own Nissan from a kit, you know who to ask for parts.

 
At 10:04 AM, Anonymous KristynMarie said...

Hmm...a wig, a formal dress, and a mask? That reminds me of something, I just can't put my finger on what. :P

Kristyn

 
At 10:10 AM, Blogger The Stiltwalker said...

in order to be fantastic, you MUST look at your head from all angles before leaving the house.

 
At 10:26 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

kristyn,

I also have a miter saw in the trunk. Always be prepared.

stiltwalker,

I only concerned with first impressions. When I turn around to leave, I don't care what you think of me.

 
At 10:56 AM, Blogger Dallas DYSfunction said...

I just spent $500 on my boyfriend... The bastard isn't even worth it!

 
At 11:25 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

dallas,

So you're the sugar daddy type? We are so different.

 
At 12:07 PM, Blogger Meg said...

So, boyfriend has extra parts...I want one of those kinds of boyfriends!!! Oh, the trouble and mischief I could get into :)

 
At 4:38 PM, Blogger anastasia said...

Hey, if your going to get rid of that wig and mask, let me know, I have a new night job, they would come in handy.

 
At 4:54 PM, Blogger Nihilistic said...

So YOU are the mysterious Prom Queen TP Bandit that has been terrorizing the country! I wonder if there is a reward for any information leading to your capture...Hmmmm

 
At 5:04 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

meg,

I guess it depends on the parts.

anastasia,

Willing to trade. Make an offer.

nihilistic,

Thanks for blowing my cover. Now I need a new alter ego.

 
At 4:52 AM, Blogger Irish Church Lady :) said...

Me thinks the TP is for decorating trees. hehe

 
At 5:05 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

icl,

I can neither confirm nor deny that allegation.

 
At 9:42 PM, Blogger Angel said...

Those new Smart Cars have snap-on parts. I want one.

When I was 7, having a tinker car seemed like a really good idea. Granted, it was only a few years later until I was wearing acidwash...so....Hmm.

 
At 2:22 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

angel,

Snap on parts are only slightly different than strap on parts.

I would kill for some of my old acid wash again.

Thanks for coming by.

 
At 6:10 AM, Blogger Ellie said...

my oh my.. I can't get enough of you!

I like taking my second child to the wash. I am like a proud parent that just got her whale's hair cut... I have a rather large vehicle...
We are going on vacation so my little big one (yeah he's indian) was given a good scrub and interior cleaning this week...the lube job is tomorrow!

 
At 6:32 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

ellie,

"Little Big One," that's great.

My Indian name is Little Big Mouth.

 

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