I've had this blog for awhile now and it seems that I have not actually gotten a hobby yet. I have been flossing daily. Meeting only half my goal is not acceptable. Must Get Hobby.
With hunting season right around the corner, it seemed like a good idea to go to my local hunting supply shop.
I have been hunting only once. I was vegetarian at the time and I guess the guys thought that I was a downer (plus, I made a lot of noise when we spotted the quail), so I have not been invited on another hunting trip to date.
I want to be clear that I am not actually interested in hunting, but rather, I am interested in shopping for sh*t that I really don't want or need. That seems like a hobby that I can keep up.
I browsed every aisle. I had a lot of fun in the camping section. The sales associate (Earl) cringed when I climbed into the tent in my heels. He reminded me how much I love Not Camping.
In the apparel section, Earl gently reminded me that I had to wear 500 square inches of hunter orange as an outer garment above the waist. I informed Earl that I never wear 500 square inches of any material. Ever.
We moved on to accessories and hunting aides. There is a product called "Buck Licker." That's all I have to say about that.
At the rifle counter, Earl let me hold a Savage. "I believe the preferred term is 'indigenous,' Earl." Earl stared at me blankly. Then Earl's assistant came out to help. Earl's Retarded Assistant. Three levels of sporting goods and the cross-eyed kid works with rifles.
At the counter, I browsed through a free copy of the 2006-2007 Hunting Seasons & Regulations publication. I had no idea that the fine state that I live in has a Wheelchair Hunt. I cannot condone hunting people in wheelchairs. Sure, I want a good parking space, but still, it seems wrong.
Disappointed, I left without a single purchase.