To Do:  1. Get Hobby 2. Floss

Here's what I need to do: 1. Get Hobby, 2. Floss. Blogging just gets in the way.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Gift Idea

I get lost. A lot. Although, I've lived here for years, I only know how to get to the beer and wine store, two sushi places, the spa, my local adult novelty store, and several shoe stores in my area. I rarely travel more than 6.5 miles from my home.

I pretend that I know the directions to lots of other places. I always think that I'll be able to find where I need to go. I always think that I should turn left. I have learned that this means that I should turn right. Terms like East and West mean nothing to me.

A few months ago, Mom gave me an atlas. She smiled at me warmly and told me that she would rest better knowing that I kept it in my car. Now I have an atlas in my car. I feel like one of those people with a Bible in their cars. I always think that they drive around with Bibles because they don't have insurance. I try to drive extra carefully when I am around them. Although, for a few years, I had a piece of turquoise in my car in lieu of insurance. It is supposed to to have protective qualities. I totally believe in the power of turquoise because when I rolled that vehicle down the side of a mountain with a recalled seatbelt, I walked away with only one little cut caused by the large knives that flew up from the backseat. I had a perfectly logical reason for having knives in the backseat.

I also have an almanac in the car. I like almanacs. It's fun for me to know at a glance the local currency, what the language of choice is and if people can read that language or not, and how many people have toilets in their homes in any particular country. I like to know how old people are when they die and how many people live per square mile. I keep it in my car in the event that I have to wait in line at the Post Office and need people to think that I am smarter than I really am.

A few weeks ago, I found myself lost in another state. I pulled over and reached for the atlas. It turns out that Mom gave me an illustrated comparative atlas of surgical techniques. I didn't even know that there was such an atlas. Mom knows that I love medical conditions due to my hypochondria. The book 101 Diseases You Don't Want to Get was one of the best gifts Mom has ever given me. I refer to it all the time. Especially when I am planning travel to developing nations or making an appointment with my doctor.

After reviewing a few hundred pages in the book, I decided that I was in dire need of an esophageal resection. I called my doctor. Dr. Kilmer (sexy name, not a sexy guy)assured me that my esophagus was just fine and then gave me directions. I have very good health insurance and I ended up safely at my destination.

Yesterday, at my doctor's appointment, I thanked him for his roadside assistance. He winked and gave me a compass. He even answered my questions about how to install it. It turns out that even if I stick it to the windshield upside down, it will still tell me which direction I am traveling. What a clever device.

I got lost on my way home, but at least I knew which direction I was going.

Why doesn't someone get me GPS?

Mist 1


At 8:54 PM, Blogger Jocelyn said...

You had knives in your backseat because you're actually a paid assassin, right?

I guessed that a long time ago.

I'm also guessing you were tailing Yoko Ono when you slid down the side of that mountain. A lot of people have hated her for a long time.

At 9:08 PM, Blogger Brookelina said...

I'm guessing your mom had you keep the atlas of surgical techniques in your car so you could perform emergency roadside surgery. With your knives. Of course. This all makes perfect sense to me.

Your mom is kind.

At 9:12 PM, Blogger Princess of the Universe said...

You know they go on and on here in Canada about how great our medicare system is - I guarantee you that my doctor of 15 years not only has no clue who I am, but would probably find some way to charge me for giving directions...

At 9:17 PM, Blogger phishez_rule said...

You're mum gave you a disease atlas to keep in your car?

How odd.

At 9:21 PM, Blogger Curiosity.Killer said...

If I have a book of naked men with their hearts and brains clearly illustrated with symptoms analyzed, I wouldn't be able to concentrate driving at all. I'll just be stuck on the roadside.

At 9:36 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


I cannot speak on any of the subjects that you have brought to light. Good day.


She really is a gem.


I haven't received the bill yet.


I haven't called her to ask her about her logic yet.


Naked men have hearts? Really?

At 9:36 PM, Blogger Churlita said...

I have no sense of direction either. Luckily, my daughter does. I'm not recommending having children or anything. Child protective services usually frowns on having big knives around them. They're super uptight, that way.

At 9:42 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


I just found out how little it would cost me to have my tubes tied. I am throwing away money with this damn pill.

At 10:23 PM, Blogger Lizza said...

If nobody gives you GPS, maybe you'd consider learning to read a map. Or at least pretend to, then ask somebody cute for directions.

At 10:55 PM, Blogger Michael C said...

I still get lost in my hometown even though I might be two blocks from where I grew up. I don't let it bother me because if pressed to do so, I think I could perform heart surgery.

At 12:40 AM, Blogger Just telling it like it is said...

Mist1: thanks for hanging in there...I feel like we are somehow blog-related, I mean I know you are somewhere out there over a rainbow, why I bet you even have family from Arkansas, we might even be sister's, cousin's once removed brother's child...we both get lost, I see hypochondriacs everytime I work, I had a aniexy attact on my way home, my boyfried finally made it home, I got lost on the way...I think the only thing we might be different in is that you are always the funniest writer I know, you spell better, your clever than most, your probably skinner, you smoke I think, butt...we drink both like saliors,...yep I think we might just be related.. just a guess though...

At 2:34 AM, Blogger Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

let me know if you ever want to borrow my "do it yourself brain surgery" book honey. it's a doosey!

smiles, bee

At 3:20 AM, Blogger CondoBlogger said...

Yours is the second "hypochondria" themed post I've read this morning! Go glad I am not alone!

By the way, what were the symptoms noted in the Atlas that made you feel an espohogeal resection? I ask because I get this wierd pain any time I eat anything green or leafy...

At 4:50 AM, Blogger EsLocura said...

I have a GPS from Boston, but I now live in Puerto Rico, I use it all the time but am still always lost. I have an odd shaped mole, could you remove it for me?

At 5:24 AM, Blogger Lonie Polony said...

I've lived here for over eight years and still can only name about six streets. Mention a suburb I don't live in and chances are I'll have no idea where it is.

At 5:52 AM, Blogger Akelamalu said...

I can understand why your mon worries about you. Couldn't you afford a chauffeur?

At 5:52 AM, Blogger Avitable said...

Shouldn't you just be chauffeured around like the bj queen that you are?

At 6:00 AM, Blogger The Stiltwalker said...

GPS can kiss my ass!
My service expired on me in the middle of the nite and I had no idea where I was or where I was supposed to go.

At 6:09 AM, Blogger Matt said...

Physicians are only slightly sexier in real life than television veteranarians--and those be some hairy motherfuckers.

At 6:12 AM, Blogger Tera said...

Oh my goodness can I relate!!! It wasn't until I just recently relocated did I realize that I HAVE to learn directions!!! I can say that now I am a couple steps closer to knowing N E S W than I was a year ago!!

Now I wouldn't label myself a true hypochodriac, but I remember this time I was dropping my kids off at daycare, and when I returned to the car, there was white powder on my purse, and what did I do? I SMELLED IT (which they warned AGAINST with the whole Anthrax scare)!!!! I immediately rushed to work to look it up on the net...symptoms were coughing (or COURSE I began to cough), tightness in chest (mmm hmm), and difficult breathing...I RACED to the Emergency room!!!!

Of course everyone STILL laughs at me about that...turns out I worked myself into an asthma attack. They gave me a breathing treatment and sent me home :)

At 6:14 AM, Anonymous 123Valerie said...

I read those medical books and worry that I have scurvy. Bad for my mojo, man.

At 6:32 AM, Blogger Gyuss Baaltar said...

How do you navigate your shoe closet without a gps?

Do you have sherpas?

At 6:36 AM, Blogger furiousBall said...

I say you get a sextant and learn to navigate by the stars. I mean what's sexier than that?

At 6:55 AM, Blogger Ryan said...

I read your posts every morning...

And I leave with only one thought -

You have some pretty serious issues, but they are extremely funny.

At 6:59 AM, Blogger Ariel said...

I always have knives in my backseat. What's so weird about that?

I get lost going to my parents house. My mother complains that I don't visit enough. She has no ideas how many times I TRY to visit and end up in a different state.

At 7:16 AM, Blogger Tug said...

Where would they resection it to??

At 7:19 AM, Anonymous girl and dog said...

For the good of all mankind, please get GPS. Please.

At 7:29 AM, Blogger Claudia said...

Screw GPS. Just get a chauffeur!!

At 7:32 AM, Anonymous themuttprincess said...

I think a GPS is a great idea for ya!

At 8:02 AM, Blogger stephanie said...

Ah, yes. The elusive sense of direction. If you find mine, please let it know I'm still in Boston and I'd love the pleasure of it's company again.

At 8:16 AM, Blogger Nina said...

I get lost in the city I grew up in. I totaly understand. My mom gave me a compass once. I never found it to be very helpful.

Don't get too excited about GPS. Once you get it, you have to learn to use it. I prefer to just turn mine on and watch the arrow move around. If I actually need to plan out a driving route, I use map quest. Much easier.

At 8:17 AM, Blogger maximo said...

i want to say something about a girl positioning system, but i worry you people will misinterpret it.

At 8:18 AM, Blogger La Cubana Gringa said...

Because an esophageal resection will get you SO much farther than a GPS ever will. Duh!

At 8:22 AM, Blogger Amy said...

I guess we'll never hear a commercial with "Mist Mist, do I turn left here. Mist Mist, which way to Subway?"

At 8:25 AM, Blogger Natalia said...

I should have a GPS implanted in my butt cheek. Then I'd always know where my ass is.


At 8:31 AM, Blogger Kevin said...

Those GPS things are WONDERFUL!

At 8:37 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


I had a map once. I could even fold it back up. But, I still couldn't read it.


I'm pretty sure that I've watched enough episodes of ER to perform surgery as well.


Do you have curly hair and a tiny, yet adorable mole on your (hold on I have to check) right shoulder?


I will need one of those book stands to prop it up. Can I borrow that too?


C'mon over and browse through my medical library. There is probably lots of stuff wrong with you. I hope you know how to get here, because I can't give you directions.


Please scan and email a picture of the mole. It's probably very serious.


That's my existence exactly.

Thanks for coming by.


I have been asking for a driver for years. Usually, I just have to date if I want a driver.


It's hard to shout out where I want to go with my mouth full.


I can't help it. That made me laugh. I bet they do that on purpose.


TV vets? What the hell kind of programming do you watch?


I think it's spelled news. I watch the 11 o'clock.

I hope you recovered from the Anthrax.

Thanks for coming by.


No one gets scurvy anymore.


I have four inch Sherpas. They pinch my toes a little bit.


The word sextant makes me laugh.


What issues?


Do you bring the knives to your parent's home?


I didn't read that far.

g & d,

Maybe it will go on sale.

Thanks for stopping by.


I would drive a chauffeur crazy.


This was a not so subtle hint. Somebody really should consider helping me out.


I think I know where Boston is. Can you give me directions to where you are?


I like Google maps because Mapquest lied to me once.

Thanks for coming by.


I have one of those already.


It depends on how I use it.


I want to be in commercials so bad it hurts. I can really act.


I think my cat has that.

At 8:38 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


Go ahead and rub it in.

At 8:49 AM, Blogger Avitable said...

That's the nice thing about sign language. Or Morse code.

At 8:50 AM, Blogger Blitz Krieg said...

Forget the GPS. Getting lost and running into someone you don't know, getting jiggy with them and then not knowing how to ever find them again is the best.

At 8:53 AM, Blogger Thy Goddess said...

Well, that settles it.

We can't hang out until one of us gets a GPS.

Goddess gets lost finding her way out of those multi-sectioned bathrooms built like a freaking maze.

At 9:52 AM, Blogger velvet girl said...

My sister-in-law knows all the best routes to get anywhere. Sometimes we call her to ask directions.

At 10:13 AM, Blogger Sebastien said...

Ohhhh, I hate GPS, I like figuring things out on my own.

Googling illnesses is also a very fun way to pass the time, it's probably just as frightening as reading 101 Diseases You Don't to Get!

At 10:41 AM, Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

Mist1: I would tell you that when I get lost, I masturbate while driving. But then I think that would be over-sharing. So I won't tell you.

At 10:48 AM, Anonymous themuttprincess said...

Mist you should ask for donations on your blog. Set up a paypal account... And if you do not get enough for a GPS at least you could use it to get new shoes.

At 10:48 AM, Blogger Comedy + said...

Mist - You are a piece of work. Never travel outside your known radius again. You have everything you need in that 6.5 miles.

You are a hoot. See you on Monday and have a great Easter weekend. Can't wait to hear what happens to you next.

At 11:35 AM, Blogger Sher said...

So glad I'm not alone in my directional impairment. I used to be a 9-1-1 dispatcher and routinely gave wrong directions to people who were gullible enough to call 9-1-1 and expect competent help.

At 12:11 PM, Blogger stephanie said...

Ummm... straight ahead and then turn right. Or is it left?


At 12:35 PM, Blogger Neil said...

I have a GPS. GPSs are nice, but don't give out drugs like your doctor can.

At 12:41 PM, Blogger Jim said...

I'm with you, Misty (that's what I called you yesterday). I don't know left from right until it's too late to do anything about it.
I do know north, south, east, and west when the sun is out.
After I leave a place I just drive until I recognize something. Chances are that I can find my way after that.

That atlas and almanac are good for TP in emergencies too unless you carry a roll of that in your car.
Just be careful, I know a lady who got poison ivy. That made all kinds of things itchy for two or three weeks.

Mrs. Jim had her knives (she always carries the one with the cork-screw) confiscated in the Madrid Airport once. She forgot to take them out of her purse and put them her check-in luggage.
They were nice and shipped them in an envelope along with the baggage. That envelope was going round and round in the Houston baggage terminal when we got there.

At 12:50 PM, Blogger Ariel said...

of course I take them to my parents house. I take them anywhere the need might arise.

At 1:12 PM, Blogger maximo said...

[alternate reply]

i got gps a few years ago. tetracycline cleared it right up.

At 1:15 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


I know braille.


I'm not jiggy. I'm flossy.

thy g,

I would help you find your way out. You could yell, "Marco" and I would say, "Polo!"


I love people like that.


I try not to search for what ails me online. It interferes with my blogging.


That's not too much. Think of all the stuff I've told you about me.


I would totally spend it on shoes. Plus, then I would feel like I owed you all something. Too much pressure.


Someone told me that I was a piece of work once. It wasn't in a nice way. I still have not forgotten/forgiven.


It's a genetic problem. My grandma can't find her way anywhere either.

Thanks for coming by.


Sometimes, I can't remember which is my right or left.


Dr. Kilmer is a little stingy with the drugs.


I've had poison ivy tons of times. My parents used to send me to camp all summer.


Your family sounds fun.

At 1:16 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


Did it burn?

At 1:25 PM, Blogger mysterygirl! said...

I think my road rage would drown out the GPS. Then Tom Tom would think that I was yelling at it and it would start crying. So no Tom Tom for me. :( Luckily I have a great sense of direction, so I'll drive you around. You can be in charge of the radio.

At 1:54 PM, Blogger Winter said...

Atleast you had something to show for going to a doctor, I miss the days of a free sucker and/or sticker.

At 3:13 PM, Blogger Superstar said...

LOL ;o)
The directionally challenged? LOL ;o)
I have the "direction" gene. I can find just about enything, ANYWHERE I need to go!

I have lived in 6 major cities and I have totell you the local peeps are the worst at giving GOOD directions.
For example: "UP" the street= ??What? Is that East, West?? Can someone explain?
"OK, you just drive for about 10 min then you are going to go "down" Blue street". OK? HOW many miles will I be driving before "blue" street? Is down North or South? *GRRRRRRR*
LOL ;o)

So, I totally understand how you feel. ;o)

At 3:16 PM, Blogger Orhan Kahn said...

Nobody is going to give you a GPS because they know you're most likely to destroy it or have it destroy you in some creative fashion.

I'm good with maps, I'm just terrible with giving directions.

At 5:01 PM, Blogger Fairmaiden327 said...

I rented a GPS navigation system when I traveled to Florida. Highways there intimated me. She spoke too slow. I hit it and I think I broke it.

At 5:32 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


Really? I can be in charge of the radio? I am honored.


I always get something free at the doctor. I always hope it will be medication samples.


When I first moved here, I quickly learned that even if the locals don't know where someplace is, they will still give me directions. That's how I ended up in Alabama for the first time.

Thanks for coming by.


I almost threw one out the window once, but I have been taking anger management classes. I can handle it now.


Everyone down South talks slowly. We listen slowly too.

At 5:56 PM, Blogger Avitable said...

I'm good at reading things with my fingers, too.

At 5:57 PM, Blogger Webmiztris said...

But if you had GPS we wouldn't get to read the funny stories about you getting lost!!

At 6:14 PM, Blogger Laurie said...

as long as you can get beer and sushi, does anything else really matter?

At 6:15 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


You are a sexy talker.


You're right. I'd better not get one.


I suppose not.

At 8:30 PM, Blogger Todd said...

I had a GPS system that told me to drive off of a bridge and into the East River. It tried to kill me!

At 8:31 PM, Blogger heartinsanfrancisco said...

You need "The Hypochondriac's Pocket Guide to Horrible Diseases You Probably Already Have." Much more entertaining than a GPS.

At 8:45 PM, Blogger The CEO said...

Quite a few knives in the back seat of my car. You already know that, so I understand perfectly why you have them. Naturally.

I'm still driving, but I have one question, if I don't carry a purse, my shoes become an accessory. Do I have to coordinate them too?

At 8:47 PM, Blogger Diesel said...

101 Diseases You Don't Want to Get. As opposed to the thousands of diseases that you DO want to get?

At 8:55 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


Did it write a suicide note for you?


Seriously, does that book exist? I must own it.


Coordinate everything. I am weak now. Do I have to tell you everything?


There are a lot of illnesses that you should have. Like, chicken pox.

At 9:05 PM, Blogger Gucci Muse said...

Ok-you rarely travel beyond 6.5 miles from your hometown, you mix up left and right and the meaning of east and west is lost upon you-yet your interest in a potential man far along the International Date Line is not an impediment to your penchant for getting lost?

At 9:11 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


I cannot help what he does to me. In fact, I think I will stalk him online now.

At 9:31 PM, Anonymous swampbunny said...

Give me your address and I'll mail you a GPS so you can find you way back to my place.

At 10:02 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


I live in the Dirty South. I live in between the package store and the sushi restaurant.

At 11:19 PM, Blogger Laurie said...

Just get a Verizon Virtual Navigator on your cell phone. She's a bit whiny and naggy but she'll get you to your destination eventually. Usually. For the most part.

At 3:56 AM, Blogger Kerry said...

Just found your blog and I love it!
Oh, and I need an almanac.

At 6:04 AM, Blogger Love Monkey said...

Is 101 Diseases available on Amazon???

Cuz I'm kind of itchy.

At 7:07 AM, Blogger Paula D. said...

mist1 you are a trip! I bought a new car a few months ago & I made sure it had the navigation package in it. I used to get lost on a daily life is great! I always know when to turn right up ahead :-)

At 8:47 AM, Blogger Lee said...

My name is Lee and I am Directionally Challenged. I feel your pain.

At 9:28 AM, Blogger Miss Ann Thrope said...

Apropos of nothing, I voted for you to be the blogger most likely to shoot up a 7-11.

I can totally see you doing that.

Everyone needs to go and vote for you here:

At 9:33 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


I have a two year contract with Sprint. I have tried faking my own death to get out of it.


I need a new almanac. I think mine is from 2004. But really, how much could have changed since then.

Thanks for coming by.


I'm sure. I'll ask Mom.


You're right. Why didn't I think to ask for a new car instead of just the GPS system?


We should start a support group. I'll give everyone directions.

miss a.t.,

What shoes would go with my semi-automatic assault rifle?

At 9:43 AM, Blogger Miss Ann Thrope said...

I'm thinking keds. Maybe in pink with little Hello Kitty shoe laces. That way they probably won't suspect you right away.

I mean, what self respecting 7-11 shooter upper would wear Hello Kitty shoe laces?


At 11:45 AM, Blogger Legaleagle said...

I'm there with you on the directions. People have tried to say "there's no way you can get lost". Yeah, trust me, there is ALWAYS a way to get lost!

Of course, the knives in the back seat make it far more interesting...

At 11:55 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

miss a.t.,

I cannot walk in flat shoes. Do they make Keds with a heel? Do they make fat Hello Kitty laces?


Knives in the backseat make everything more interesting.

Thanks for coming by.

At 12:34 PM, Blogger Greg said...

I just don't ever leave the house. No need for directions. :)

At 1:35 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


There are a variety of medications available for that. Sometimes, I take them all at once. Then, I don't go home for weeks.

At 1:48 PM, Blogger maximo said...

1. yes. it burned.

2. there's a pair of shoes that i could show you. but i don't think i should recommend them to you. they'd remind me too much of my ex.

3. i've now read your entire archive. i want more. do you still have your old blog? where is it?

At 1:49 PM, Blogger Dan said...

I had GPS but then I misplaced it. I've been trying to locate it the old fashioned way ... by looking. Still no success.

At 1:52 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


We will never speak of the old blog again.


It's always in the last place you look.

At 2:04 PM, Blogger maximo said...

what if you just whisper it into my ear?

At 3:01 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


It is no longer live. I keep it tucked away in case I ever need to go on vacation. You know, to a place without internet. Which, I probably will never do, because I love not camping.

At 4:49 PM, Anonymous Dawn said...

Because they're expensive! Better start saving girl. ;)

At 5:48 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


The concept of saving is wasted on me. The concept of wasted is well understood.

At 2:07 AM, Blogger The Freelance Cynic said...

Even GPS can get your lost though. You'd probably use it to drive into a river....

At 6:49 AM, Blogger historymike said...

This is an incredibly witty blog. I have linked to your site, and you shall be inundated with traffic from my site.

I expect you will get something on the order of 3, possibly 4, new visitors. Alert Blogger of the impending server overload, hatch down the battens, and whatever else you need to do.

At 7:38 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


I will need a swimming car.

history mike,

OMG, I have nothing to wear! I haven't even brushed my teeth yet this morning. What will my new visitor's think?

At 9:09 AM, Blogger C said...

We must have the same recessive gene for sense of direction. I get lost all the time. I don't know how I moved to GA from L.A. the roads here lead to weird places and change names constantly.

At 9:32 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


I can't find anything here. All the streets are Peachtree Road, Drive, Place, Parkway, Boulevard...

At 10:51 AM, Anonymous Kristyn said...

I'm reminded of my husbands friend who used to have a rabit pelt in his car. He said it was magical and made him invisible to cops. Now that's insurance. ;)

At 12:12 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


I have to get one of those pelts.

At 1:23 PM, Blogger Library Mama said...

I love almanacs too. Must be the librarian in me.

Happy Easter to you. Did the bunny find you?

At 1:47 PM, Blogger heather said...

happy easter mist, hope your bunny was 6'2 and solid. ;-)

At 1:57 PM, Blogger Nance said...

mist--i just automatically assume that wherever i am facing is north. oh, and i never offer to drive. works for me.

At 2:44 PM, Blogger maximo said...

ok. in that case, let me change the subject elegantly. for some reason, i find the phrase "i love not camping" to be really hot.

At 3:25 PM, Blogger CruiserMel said...

Is it a southern thing that we have a natural tendency to turn left, a la nascar?

At 4:02 PM, Blogger Malnurtured Snay said...

Happy Giant Bunny Rabbit Day!

At 4:18 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


I've never had a librarian in me.


Does the Jackrabbit count?


People rarely let me drive.


If I knew how to send you an audio file, I would. I love not camping.


I never thought about that. Race is a touchy subject, and yet, you handled it flawlessly.


I just had a Donnie Darko moment.

At 5:02 PM, Blogger heather said...

jackrabbit is close enough. haven't seen donnie darko in a while, i may have to dig it out tonight. great flick and appropriate for the day. thanks :-)

At 5:06 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


The Jackrabbit and I need a nap. We've had a big day.

At 7:16 AM, Blogger Glamourpuss said...

I never lknow where I'm going, I just drive by intuition and get lost a lot. But I've seen some cool things on my travels.


At 9:06 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


I take a lot of pictures. Someday, they will help me retrace my steps.

At 10:59 AM, Blogger Elaine said...

I am the same way when it comes to directions. I like step by step directions with landmarks if possible.

I once had someone tell me that while giving them directions to my house, I said "go west" on such and such a street. Which, I learned is the wrong way. No way in hell, did I say "go west". I lived in that town my whole life and wouldn't have been able to save my life if someone asked me which way was west. It should have been a red flag that the guy was a moron.


At 11:54 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


Landmarks are only good if I know where they are. I hate it when people tell me to turn right at the old lumber yard. I have no idea where that is. They should tell me, "turn left at the bar that you wore those turquoise shoes to." I would be able to figure that out.


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"All of this happened, more or less." - Kurt Vonnegut

Name: Mist1
Location: Dirty South, USA

Yes, it is about me. Thanks for noticing.


123 Valerie Strikes Again
A Day in the Life
A Day in the Wind
Ali Thinks
Allan Thinks
Animal Mind
A View From The Watter's Edge
BNR - Blog Name Removed
Briliant Donkey
Burnett's Urban Etiquette
Burt Reynolds' Mustache
Cardiac Fantasies
Carnival of the Mundane
Curiosity Killer
Dallas Dysfunction
Dan's Blah Blah Blog
Disgruntled Workforce
DKY Bar and Grill
Exorcise My Devils
Fantasy and Sci-Fi Lovin' Blog
Fresh Air Lover
Guilty With An Explanation
How to go Insane
I Am Woman, See Me Blog!
Intelligent Humor
It's Go Time!
It's No Picknick!
Jester Tunes
Jen (and Andrew)
Just Tug
Ketchup With My Fries, Please
Liner Notes
Little White Liar
Maiden New York
Mayren Abashed
Meloncutter Musings
Mindy Does Minneapolis
Miss Britt
Much Ado about sumthin!
Muffin 53
Pointless Banter
Pointless Drivel
Q's Corner
Random Moments
Sanity Optional
Single Life As I Know It
Secret Suburban Misfit
Southern Circle of Hell
The Assimilated Negro
The Death of Retail Price
The Dragon: 050376
The Morning Meeting
The Post College Years
The Wonderful World of Nothing Worthwhile
Tiny Voices in My Head


Shifting Plates
Why I Drink Vodka and Wear Pants (Sometimes)
Road Rage
Pots & Pads
Mixed Nuts
Blogger Dish
Four Hours
Girl, Uncomfortable



Header image photo by Alison.

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