Usually, artificial sweeteners taste like powdered cat urine and bubble bath to me. I've never been able to stomach the contents of those little blue and pink packets of sweetener. That was until I was introduced to Splenda in the little yellow packet.
I am having to rethink everything I know about artificial sweeteners. I cannot tell the difference between Splenda and sugar. On TV the other night, I saw a commercial that explained that it tastes like sugar because it is made of sugar. That is the kind of scientific logic that I can understand. I don't need a diagram of the complex molecule explaining why it tastes sweet, I just need to hear the word sugar and I am convinced.
Whenever I discover a product, I have to let those closest to me know. Like the pimple cream that made the zit on my forehead dry up and fall off in under eight hours. That was a miracle that I wanted to share. I feel the same way about Splenda. I called my sister and told her all about Splenda. She didn't share my enthusiasm. "Splenda has been around for a long time. It's not new, Mist. I don't like it." I wish my sister had been around when Columbus discovered the New World. I can imagine the phone call, "Yeah Chris, we know all about that place. When are you going to bring the Nina, the Pinta, and the Pina Colada back?" She could have rewritten history. (Side note: I wish I knew how to make that little ~ thing.)
I was undaunted by my sister's lack of support for my love of Splenda. I hung up the phone and rushed immediately to the grocery store for an entire box of Splenda all my own. When I got home, I wished that I had purchased the box of small, single serving packets and not the bulk box. I poured out the box on my kitchen counter and began dividing it into several smaller quantities. I was packaging it all neatly in plastic baggies when Jamie decided to burst in the door.
It was a difficult situation to explain. I didn't even try. Instead, I pulled a box of drinking straws out of the cupboard and cut a three inch piece for her with my handy kitchen scissors. When she asked me if I was going to join her, I told her that I never get high from my own supply. I have to admit, it felt pretty cool to finally use that line.
The last time I checked, she is still in there snorting lines Splenda. She's done about six grams.
I'm not going to tell her.