She's Not His Type
I was disinvited to a social gathering last night. It's not that I didn't want to spend last night at home with a glass of wine, it's just that I wish that I hadn't put on makeup and an amazing skirt first.The woman hosting the party is a friend of a friend. We have the kind of relationship where we run into one another while drinking in our zip code. We drink and talk and she calls me "girlfriend," then I talk to someone else. I don't talk to people who say "girlfriend" or "don't go there" unless they are doing my hair. Still, in my book, we're pretty close. I mean, I haven't puked at her house or anything, but I've felt pretty nauseated.
I'm used to not being invited to events. I have no problem with people who don't want me present from the beginning. Lots of people hate me. I attribute it mostly to being fascinating and my stunning eyelashes. It may also have to do with my intimidating shoe collection, but that is an issue that other people can resolve by shopping. I feel no guilt.
Being disinvited is a new experience for me. In order to feel better about myself, I am temped to list all of her flaws here, but that would just be ugly. She can't help it if she can't tell a story without forgetting it halfway through. Nor do I hold it against her that she has to wax her entire face and probably her neck. I wouldn't do that. I like her. Really, I do.
It seems that she is trying to gain the affections of a new man. This man likes "ethnic" looking women. I cannot help it that due to my parent's multi-cultural interests, I just happen to be ethnic looking. I also cannot help it that she is not. I am sure that plenty of men just adore her look. Why, they must be lining up to admire her in all her don't-go-there-girl mystique.
I think I have a pretty good discrimination case here. Until my day in court, you will find me peacefully protesting outside her home.
We shall overcome.
Mist 1
Posted by Mist1 @ 6:53 AM
87 Comments:
If people don't like me, I just assume that they're skank whores, and then I feel so much better about myself. You should try it.
Can she buy your forgiveness with a drink?
The artwork in the picture shows a person, possibly a lady, looking very stressed & probably feeling constipated too.
Do you want to exchange links with my Movie Special blog?
She doesn't like you---what? She doesn't read your blog?
Think of me when you drink today, 'specially if it's vodka...or wine.
Make sure you peacefully protest in that amazing skirt.
"I'm used to not being invited to events."
" Being disinvited is a new experience for me."
What's the difference between not being invited and disinvited?
Does disinvited mean they invite you and then dis you?
Surely she'd want to test his will of spirit - and whether his preference for the ethnically variegated of us is real, or just something he wrote in the personal ad she responded to
Clearly not a scientist then. Hell, I invite ALL of my most fascinating, eyelash-festooned girlfriends *snap snap with the fingers* over when I've a new man. If he doesn't look in their direction, I know the acid in his eyes worked a treat.
For the right favor, I have contacts that can make her, I mean, this situation, go away......... Let me know.
What does ethnic looking mean? Not white? What?
You're better off and you really should puke in her house or, at the very least, on her doorstep.
awwww, Mist. Feel free to get it all off your chest. Dish her dirt with enthusiasm!
I got booted out of a (not very close ) friend's apartment once because the stewardess next door liked tall guys.
I took it as a compliment. (Though I can take just about anything as a compliment, really.)
How about throwing the old lady neighbor's jar you kept threw her window at 3 in the morning. Maybe you could kill two birds with one stone. Sit back with a nice libation on your porch and watch those two go at it.
Catfight! Meeeeeeooooowwwww!
"All dressed up and nowhere to go" sucks.
Please post a picture of your protest shoes... I simply must know!!!
Revenge is easy. Just stalk them for a week, then after you know their routine, put on your fabulous skirt and highest stilletos and just CASUALLY "bump" into him. Flirt outrageously. Use those ethnic lashes! Then invite him to your party and disinvite her. :)
Total skank this one... but then, you have to understand her point of view. If you're around with your eyelashes and fabulous shoes, she doesn't stand a chance.
How does one come to be disinvited? Do you get a card in the mail?
Of course, in China, caucasians look ethnic (just thought I'd mention that). Oh, an another thing, if one in three people in the world are Chinese, which one of those Dixie Chicks is the Chinese one?
I love a good sit-in, albeit I prefer when a couch is involved. Power to the Mist!
churlita,
There's really no need for assumptions.
phishez,
It's practically forgotten.
ai,
I was thinking more along the lines of the what she should wear to her Klan rally. I mean, get together.
Thanks for stopping by. I don't really have a link exchange thing going on. I add them if I read them and then generally, I take some reminding.
token,
I can't let anyone who I might potentially call names here know that I blog.
melody,
I wonder if he's cute.
mr. fab,
The skirt does not go with my peaceful protest shoes.
uncivil,
Disinvited is when you are invited and then uninvited. I just liked the sound of disinvited. Yes, because I felt dissed.
michael,
I don't want her to go away. I'm just not going to invite her to my birthday party. Can you get me an inflatable bouncy thing and ponies?
debbie,
Ethnic looking means that people ask, "so what are you?"
graffiti,
Buying shoes also makes me feel better.
pool,
I feel like I was just held hostage by a motivational speaker. Should I also turn my frown upside down?
peter,
I took the "pretty b*tch" part as a compliment.
wreck,
Funny you should mention it. I found Enid's jar lid. I threw it away for good.
nwjr,
I had a lovely evening talking to myself about her.
wng,
Her shoes aren't worth my vomit.
wg,
They are distressed and army green and have flowers embroidered on them. They look nice with my cluth.
yvonne,
Dumb was a nice way to put it.
rachel,
I'm custom ordering a sign for her front door. It will read: No ethnic girls need apply.
jazz,
I know. I should be more sensitive. I always want people to look at my shoes, but they can't seem to look away from the lashes.
rosanna,
It came via third party messenger. For the record, the messenger and I drank wine and trashed her.
faz,
You're so right. I'm moving to China.
michael,
I'm a fairly portable protester. I've dragged out my pool chair. I'll be making a pitcher of pomegranate margaritas in a bit. The iPod is charging and I'm hoping that I can steal her wireless network.
She doesn't know what she was missing. There was obviously no reason to be at said event. Without you there it was horribly dull, I'm sure.
I'm going to go watch Roots, and then I'll join you, freshly invigorated with protestation.
that broad has serious issues.
if it were me, my rude self would have made a pact with the messenger to pretend that i never got disinvited to the party. and i would have shown up with gorgeous shoes plus that adorable skirt just to see the look on the bitch's face when i walked in.
but i have no tact, obviously.
"Don't-go-there-girl mystique." Heehee.
Will you be puking there?
Puss
She proably says things like "yo bro" and "I heard that" too.
She does it to make you want to accept her into the halfrican american club. She probably don't say things like that in front of other white women and goes to the Irish bar and says she's Irish and says things like "shenanigans" even though she's a mutt like any other American.
She's like those girls on Oprah. Don't trust her.
I am not a lot of people's type. But that means I am not vulgar a la pop culture. I am different and special. And that, in my book, is good.
-N
The ironic thing here is that this woman doesn't have a chance with this guy anyway - he WILL find some "ethnic" action if that's what he's really looking for...
I was disinvited from a wedding reception once... seems my habit of fucking bridesmaids made the groom's parents uncomfortable.
Don't go getting all self indulgent on me. Really, you were invited twice - once, to the party and then, to have way more fun. So, you're obviously just having a spell of greediness. Today, I'm against greed on that scale.
I've never accepted a disinvitation. I'll pretend I don't understand what they're saying then show up looking real purty.
If she thinks the man might be more attracted to you then her, why does she want this guy, anyway? I only want the men that worship the goddess that is me.
I hate when people ask me "so what ARE you?". Why should it matter? And you've got the right attitude - if other people are intimidated (particularly because you're/we're ethnic/gorgeous/ethnically gorgeous), that ain't your/our problem, honey!
men never look at women's shoes-the closest connection would be a shoe rack. methe comment: thanks for the visual.
Hopefully she's not prone to getting ingrown hairs...it's not attractive in the bikini area and it sure as hell wouldn't be attractive on the face & neck!
susan,
Horribly dull, I'm sure. However, probably much more vodka to go around.
av,
Let's not talk religion here, okay. I respect your right to worship your Protestation G*d.
hello,
I have learned that sometimes, when you storm into a place after a few glasses of wine while shouting 2, 4, 6, 8, We Don't Want To Integrate! can make me look nuts.
tallulah,
I hate, hate, hate that phrase.
puss,
I have decided to not puke for the moment.
nolff,
Nuff' respect and true dat. And leave Oprah out of this, but not because she's brown and ethnic or anything, just because I don't speak out against Oprah. I just don't believe in it. I don't want her to make me publicly apologize on her show for anything I say here.
natalia,
Different is good. The term "Special" has implications about what kind of bus one might ride and whether or not one's shoes were prescribed by a doctor. I am very proud of your accomplishments. I never would have known that you are special if you hadn't told me.
pool,
Okay, you've convinced me. You key the car, I'll egg the house.
tera,
Hissy would rip her little face off. I would tell Hissy not to go there.
his sin,
Why? Did the groom's parents want firsts?
booda,
I'm not against greed, but I am against scales. Unless they are on fishies.
jali,
I know, Honey. That's how we met. It's a good thing you're so damn cute.
amp,
Clearly, she wants to be like me. I found a bottle of self-tanning lotion in her bathroom once, I just had no idea how far she would take it. The next thing you know, she'll be flossing.
vegas,
Sometimes, I make stuff up when people ask me that question. You know, like Lilliputian or something.
methe,
What about my rack?
lcg,
Is there anything one could do to make ingrown hairs worse?
i'll only come find you if you're in a wifebeater and panties with a glass of wine for me.
We blonde haired, hazel eyed, big breasted women have it really tough you know Mist.
You should be more sympathetic.
I'm a quarter Armenian, so I feel your pain. I can grow a beard in a quarter mile. I don't get 5 o'clock shadow, I get a beard. Any chicks into the depressed artsy terrorist look should look me up, girlfriend.
I have a favourite quote that has little bearing on your post but my convoluted thought process somewhat led me to make an association.
"I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends.
I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me."
--Dave Barry
We're all jealous of you. It's your cross to bear. Bear it well.
Yep, she's jealous. I just know that is the case. With your reputation she figures you will waltz in, steal her man, use him until he is all used up, then toss him back to her. Yep, that works...It's what you would do! I can relate. :)
At least then she would just need wax for her neck??
There are worse reasons to be uninvited. I once volunteered to stand in as a model for a studio photo shoot. Mind you, the sequence being photographed was clearing toilet clogs using an auger.
The morning of the shoot the art director said to me "We've decided we don't need you after all. Everybody agrees that a little bit of handsomeness will help the shot, so we talked Tim into it."
Just call me John Merrick.
karma,
It's archaic, isn't it?
jennifer,
C'mon over. I'll be the one face down in the carpet.
scotts,
That's it. I'm going shopping for a sexy sari today and maybe a kimono. I'm going ethnic.
furious,
Actually, that sounds pretty hot.
miss a.t.,
Great quote. Surely, that can't be the case with me. I am oodles of fun to argue with.
ctw,
Oh, how I suffer.
comedy,
I'll help her. Seriously. I'll drive him into her arms. I'm good for that. He won't like any ethnic girls for a long, long time.
tera,
She would save a fortune in wax.
nina,
I feel a little better. I think I might buy her a gift certificate for a tanning salon.
mystic,
Clearly, they meant that you had too much handsomeness.
Don't fret Mist just tell her you aint bovvered!
We can't talk religion? Does that mean I can't get on my knees when I'm with you?
She sounds like a friend I had in the eight grade. Of course, my friend grew up and apologized by senior year.
Dude, Ouch.
That hairy bitch sounds a real skank. The only "Girlfriends" i enjoy are the ones on the U (channel 26 if you're not from these parts, y'all)featuring the "love child" of one Beyonce, nay, Diana Ross.
As far as We Shall Overcome, I had the most moving experience of my life when I heard a group of white 3rd graders sing that song to a funky karaoke track at my old school where the principal was schlepping teachers in his office during passing periods. Ah, memories.
disinvited? can she do that? because I think it's clearly stated on page 43 of the "How Not To Be A Bitch" manual that she can't.
I have some skanky Voo-Doo dolls you could borrow.
I dis-invited over eighty people to “the wedding in which my wife and I were joined in a godless ceremony.” It was the best thing I ever did and I think most of the dis-invited people have either forgotten about it or found it in their hearts to forgive me for refusing to dance like an organ grinder’s monkey while subsidizing a night of binge drinking for some of my less-than-appreciative blood relatives. We got married on a goddamn beach and sent the more important dis-invitees dvd’s of the affair in a brown paper bag. It was great.
You've got nothing to worry about.
She does not have the Fire/Rescue gear. You're golden.
Wow. She must think pretty highly of you to disinvite you like that. I guess it's not easy being green. With envy.
Hey Misty, that's agreat write-up about a terrible and musta' been humiliating occurence. Yes, you were dissed. That would make anybody p**ed.
I've never quite been disinvited but a friend was--by another friend. It was at a party and involved playing the 'spin the guitar' game.
Maybe I'll blog about that some day--I'm sure it would be more interesting if you would write it.
The end: "It's my d**n guitar and my d**n house and I can kiss (??) whoever who I d**n want--sic, pick."
My other friend left, alone.
..
Advise her to get the white girl Afro. That'll totally turn him on. I'll help you cut her hair. It'll be divine.
Disinvited- sounds like the title of a novel.
akelamalu,
I don't think I've ever said "ain't".
av,
That's what the midget is for.
spell,
Your friend could hold a grudge.
wng,
Maybe dog poo.
andy,
I have got to download that remix for the iPod.
miztris,
She can do that. It's in the book entitled, "Insecurity & Me".
stacy,
Can I borrow the Voodoo doll's clothing? I like skanky clothing.
slag,
Hey, I rsvp'd for your wedding. I want the toaster back.
123,
I am rather golden. That's what started this whole thing.
tammy,
I used to wear Gucci Envy. I realize that had little to do with your comment.
jim,
I'll ghost write that for a reasonable fee. Vodka would work for me.
fringes,
Hmmm...I can't seem to find anything around here but clippers. I'm sure we can work it out.
jack,
Dysentery sounds like a good way to get bikini ready.
giggles... disinvited in the dirty south? that girl must be a hairy yankee beyooch! Lets hope, "man who likes ethnic looking women" disinvited her affections.
*gets in the back of the protest line*
Oh I get disinvited all the time it never stops me from still going to the party...telling the room the party can start I am here and from wearing a trashy shirt that shows all of my boobage, but that is just me...okay I have only gotten thrown out like one time...but then I guess that your labled...
Sometimes you remind me of Penn Jilette, the one half of Penn & Teller. You're just too cute when you're upset with someone.
Disinvited? what did she just ring up at the last minute and say ''yeah, i dont want you to come, quite frankly you embarrass me?''? the bitch.
People that say 'girlfriend' give me the heebie jeebies.
melanie,
You have tremendous charisma. The crowd adores you.
tellin,
I've never been labeled when I get thrown out. I've been photographed.
orhan,
I'm worried that all this scowling is going to make me wrinkle.
plump,
If I had been quick, I would have had the third party who told me the news call her back and tell her that she couldn't disinvite me because I was already blowing her party off. But I was not quick.
Probably her back too...I mean, with the wax.
Wait a second? Someone else called to tell you that you were disinvited?? you've got to be kidding!
Her loss Misty. I'll throw a shindig and you'll be the first on the invite list...... i have a feeling you'd be the life of the party.
it's just that I wish that I hadn't put on makeup and an amazing skirt first
I bet the guys there were in agreement about the whole 'wishing you hadn't put on the skirt' thing. But that's not specific to the party. It's probably an everyday thing.
I'm sure it's shoe jealousy on her part. It's nice to see that other people are good enough to not list flaws. I'm classy that way also. Unless they really ask for it.
dawn,
I always wondered why she never wears backless shirts.
claudia,
Nope. She didn't even have the decency to tell me directly.
kiyotoe,
Anxiously awaiting the evite.
todd,
You're so smooth. I bet you have lines like, "I like those jeans. I'd like them even better on the floor."
constance,
I've had shoe jealousy before. In elementary school, my principal had the best shoes I had ever seen in my life. They made my Minnetonka Moccasins look pathetic. She was my inspiration.
Being disinvited is actually a good thing. It shows you're so good you might shadow other people. So much better than being invited everywhere !
Trust me. Disinviting is the new inviting.
She's just jealous of your ethnicity.
Isn't everyone?
zhu,
Now, I want to be disinvited everywhere I go.
pissy,
My ethnicity is no longer trendy. There's a new face of bi-racial America and it does not look like me. It's true, I saw it on CNN. My sister and I never expected our reign to end so soon.
The best revenge, should you be bothered to want that, would be to get that man she desires on YOUR ethnic-looking arm.
Lol. Alcohol will erase all memories, given enough time.
Oh no you di ant!
jocelyn,
I'll have to see his teeth first.
0,
I am currently in lust with pomegranate margaritas. Can we make those?
phishez,
What memories?
capt. smack,
Yes the f*ck I did.
I've heard of being invited at the last minute, but being disinvited at the last minute is a new one to me. I guess that's the hazard of being too fabulous and too stunning with too good a taste in shoes.
velvet,
Well, when you put it like that, I don't mind being disinvited.
And the colored girls say, "Doot, doot... doot, doot, doot, doot...."
I just don't get invited. Period.
I don't take it personal. I just figured the host doesn't want to be overshadowed by my awesomeness. It's their party, and they can cry if they want to.
Geezus. How absolutely repulsive.
If she hooks up with this guy, you should offer to blow him.
Just for kicks, I mean. Not for real. LOL
girlfriend? seriously....?
It's a compliment, Mist.
If she's not his type, she's already lost the game. Stacking the deck won't help.
I just hope you found a better place to take your makeup and amazing skirt.
matt,
I thought it was woot.
silver,
I feel bad for people that don't want you at their parties.
attila,
Oh, I only blow for kicks.
nofear,
Who says that?
hearts,
I found better wine for my makeup and amazing skirt.
She knew she wouldn't stand a chance if you were there, because you are BEAUTIFUL.
alison,
I am also known for sticking my tongue down throats of unsuspecting, but very, very lucky men.
You should have gone there, notwithstanding your disinvitation.
BTW, What are those lucky men made of?
diogenes,
I have no idea what men are made of. I've never dissected one.
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