To Do:  1. Get Hobby 2. Floss

Here's what I need to do: 1. Get Hobby, 2. Floss. Blogging just gets in the way.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

The "1"

The CEO has proposed that I drop the formalities and simply call him "O." He calls me "1." That makes me feel special; like we have this special binary relationship. o1o1o11o1oo111.

I never had a lot of nicknames growing up. With a name like Mist 1 (short for One), who needs a nickname?

Dad (who wanted to be called "Flash," but had to settle for "o.d.") is the only person who ever had nicknames for me. Unless you count "I don't know what's gotten into you lately" as a nickname. That's what Mom called me.

Dad called me:

  • Magumba. I have no idea where that came from. He later had a car with a MN tag, MGA ###. He said that stood for Magumba. That made me feel special at the time, however upon realizing that it was a randomly generated tag by the Dept. of Motor Vehicles, I feel sort of cheated. Will discus further in therapy.
  • Huevos Revueltos. Scrambled eggs. And sometimes just Vueltos; short for scrambled.
  • Ribs. I've always been bony.
My talent/genius was coming up with nicknames for my friends (as well as the people that I liked a little less). There was "Goose" because I could not resist pinching that a$$. There was "Chicken Wing," because of that deformity (Dear G*d, please forgive me). There was Darkys Night because he was just so damn dark (seriously G*d, I am a community volunteer now, I've changed my ways). "Chief Nine Nail" only had nine toenails. "Buddha" because he had the, belly...yeah, belly. "naeS," the dyslexic. I miss them all.

Once, I was a competitive gymnast. I was A Force To Be Reckoned With. A Contender. A Powerhouse. My teammates called me, "The Mist." It was on my letter jacket. My last name was on the back. One. I felt so smooth back then. There is something about adding "The" to my name that makes me feel really, really cool.

The Mist


At 9:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i need a cool nickname.

At 9:14 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


I don't have a lot to go on here. This is like your second comment (not that I'm counting). "The Christine" isn't quite as cool as I had hoped. You will have to reveal a bit more about yourself.

I must rest now.

At 9:20 PM, Blogger Amber said...

My dad called me either "Moosehead" or "Mooselips". Really helped with the self-image while growing up.

At 10:45 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


I love meese.

Thanks for coming by.

At 11:55 PM, Blogger The Naked Nerd said...

OMG I love giving nicknames to people I meet. Like people at work. There's this one guy I call Tiny. He'll probably have to be buried in a piano case. Then there's Mr.Creepy, and Mr.Sh*t mouth I can't stand talking with this guy. His breath is somewhat offensive. Some people think that I'm rude. I contend that I just call'em like I see'em. :P

At 3:45 AM, Blogger WanderingGirl said...

Good lord you and I are alike! I also name everything... including my friends' cars.

But I also seem to collect nicknames. A quick list: TK, T, Goose, Queenie, George, T-Bo, Angel (only Mom), one I won't mention from my brother, and the latest is Tiki (from my new coworkers). Really, I just turn around when anybody says anything. It's easier that way. And I'm self-centered, so I always assume people are talking to me.

At 3:47 AM, Blogger Viragosilverado said...

Your Name in EBCDIC MIST
Your Name in Hex D4 C9 E2 E3
Your Name in Binary 11010100 11001001 11100010 11100011

At 3:51 AM, Blogger Viragosilverado said...

Your Name Mist in EBCDIC MIST
Your Name in Binary 11010100 11001001 11100010 11100011
Your Name in HEX D4 C9 E2 E3

Blame it on Amber, she's hyperlinking everything and everybody.

At 4:26 AM, Blogger Glamourpuss said...

Your name is your totem. I have lots - online name, pole names, nicknames. I don't _think_ I have multiple personality syndrome...

BTW - Gymnastics?! Mate, you would make one kickass pole dancer, trust me. Get yourself to class! I think you've found a job - money is good, men are, um, less good, hours ace for insomniacs! What you waiting for?


At 4:37 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


What's crude about sh*tmouth? I mean, what are you supposed to call him? Mr. Get-Some-Scope-and-Don't-Forget-To-Floss?


You know Goose?

Also, I love being self-centered. It works for me.


I have always wondered. How'd you get so good with languages?

Thanks for coming by.


You mean, I may have a future? This blog will really pick up then.

At 4:54 AM, Blogger Avitable said...

Expect to hear from a lawyer from DC Comics about your copyright violations with the use of the term "The Mist" later today. I didn't want to alert them, but I had no choice. It's for your own good.

At 5:08 AM, Blogger NWJR said...

My crack research team came up with the following definitions for "magumba":

A Cheesy Eggy Dish

An indigenous esoteric art form in Bermuda

A Kenyan Province

So I'm assuming that if you're creating art while eating cheesy eggs in Africa, you're all set.

Or something.

At 5:46 AM, Blogger Glamourpuss said...

We all have a future... well, until we boil to death due to greenhouse gas emissions. Out of interest, what is the whole US love affair with cars all about? I got called weird cos I wanted to walk in Los Angeles, and when I wanted to take the bus, everyone thought I was an illegal immigrant - made fifty bucks packing orange crates though - result!


At 6:06 AM, Blogger karma lennon said...

I used to have lots of nicknames. Frog in middle school, Flower in high school (short for flower child). Dame Karma the Foxy in college. Oh, and of course Naked Girl. I need a new nickname.

At 6:08 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


They'll never take me alive.


Dad has some explaining to do. What's with his infatuation with eggs?


No one walks in LA? Let me see your Greencard.

At 6:10 AM, Blogger Orhan Kahn said...

I like ribs. The nick name and the dish.

At 6:14 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


Your nicknames reveal a progression in your life.


I am a dish. Thanks for noticing.

At 6:30 AM, Blogger Mindless Dribbler said...

Already living out your Glory years Mist?

I'm sorry..The Mist.

My nickname was "Bird". Half the people in high school couldn't tell you my real name..but they knew "Bird" by God.

At 6:30 AM, Blogger Fairmaiden327 said...

I hear you. The Slut does have a certain panache. At least that's what my friends tell me.

At 6:39 AM, Blogger spoon said...

Nicknames are cool but not those cheesy shortening of names using a 'z'. Like Shazza, Bazza, Gazza - 'gag'gag'gag'. Or like Lauren becoming Laaaa..'gag'gag'gag'. I've had numerous names like freak, dork, strange lady, psycho...ahh such cool buddy names!

At 6:47 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


Just a little walk down Nostalgia Lane. "Bird by God" should be the title of your next book.


They call you that too?


Z's are so passe. Fo' shizzle.

At 7:09 AM, Blogger old lady said...

Just like The Fonz! Very cool.

At 7:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about 'The Rib''d be right up there with Adam, or was it Eve???

At 7:46 AM, Anonymous kristynmarie said...

I always had bad nicknames; when I was a kid, all the other kids called me "Rail Rhodes". My last name was Rhodes and I had braces. Bah! "When's the train comin' round the track, rail Rhodes?" Stipid kids. :P


At 7:57 AM, Anonymous Alison said...

Gosh, all I ever got called was "Ali." And "Loulou" by my older brother.

I feel so deprived.

At 7:58 AM, Anonymous Alison said...

Gosh, all I ever got called was "Ali." And "Loulou" by my older brother.

I feel so deprived.

At 8:36 AM, Anonymous Miss Britt said...

ooh ooh - make me one!!!!

At 9:57 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


The Fonz and I have much in common. We both love tight jeans.


I am afraid that The Rib is just too catchy. What if I get fat and can't shake the nickname? I'm not into irony.


There is only one thing to do to get back at stupid kids; be ridiculously hot at class reunions.


Well, for a couple of days when you were MIA, you could have been The Missed One. But that's already taken. Sorry, beat you to it.

At 10:42 AM, Blogger Glamourpuss said...

Er, greencard? Is that like a Gold Card but in dollars?


At 10:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahem, let me say this about that. First, there's The Mist(y) 1, but that opens the door for Sam, and his piano. And I don't smoke. Second, and I am speaking numerically here, you have a book written about you and your unique properties. That's right. there's an 800 page book on the number "1". For example, "you" The Mist 1, when you are just the "1" are The Identity Function. When anything is multiplied against you, you return their true identity.(Bring up the patriotic music here, please) You are Kryptonite to terroritsts and sploogers and ne'erdo wells trying to spoof their way through the internet while you are on guard. Well done 1. This is why you can lounge on my couch unkempt, because you stand guard all night keep us free. It is a debt of gratitude we all owe you.

Who's going to keep the database when she takes this on the world tour?

At 11:44 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


The best credit cards are the ones without my name on them.


I hope your book is better than my unauthorized autobiography.

At 11:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have been called many things: dirty, Dust, Dusty, Pudding, hey you, and various other things that I cant mention here. I find it's all too much to keep up with so I have nickname that is a "one size fits all" nickname. B*tch. It works for everyone. You should try it.

At 11:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have been called many things: dirty, Dust, Dusty, Pudding, hey you, and various other things that I cant mention here. I find it's all too much to keep up with so I have nickname that is a "one size fits all" nickname. B*tch. It works for everyone. You should try it.

At 11:53 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


Great idea. I hate it when I can't remember names. This way, I'll never have another embarassing moment. "Hey B*tch, haven't seen you since So & So's party. How the heck are ya?"

At 1:20 PM, Blogger Darlene said...

My parents never gave me a nickname - they both came from huge families so when they were addressing me, they always went thru all the names of their siblings before they got to my name..However, I do call my husband, "Hot Stuff", and he calls me "Chester"..Kinda embarasses the kids, but that's my job.

At 1:46 PM, Blogger Cheetarah1980 said...

Yo, calling dude naeS is just wrong! Hilarious, but still wrong.

At 1:54 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


Mom calls me by her sister's name when I'm annoying her. She has even called me by the cat's name.


It was okay. He's dyslexic. It probably sounded right to him.

UPDATE: nwjr's comment promped me to send Dad an email and get his story on the Magumba name. Here's Dad's reply:

"I always felt like I made it up, but I probably saw it in a 50's movie
trailer. Cheesy egg magumba is a much better name than the
description of the dish. We should invent our own cheesy egg magumba,
which one would eat with juevos revueltos. I didn't make that up
either.. Love, daaaaaaad."

Well, that explains everything. Thanks, Dad.

At 2:01 PM, Blogger jali said...

The Mist,


The One
The Shit

The jali

At 2:09 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

the jali,

That's my new mantra. I have forgotten my old one.

At 3:39 PM, Blogger Matt said...

I don't want to Pist1 you off, but the CEO sounds like a real Zero.


My nickname in college was Pope Jeju (a soft "g" sound), which morphed into Stashu Peeshu when I had pot.

At 4:24 PM, Anonymous odat said...

NOOOOO....Don't put THE in front of mist......reminds me too much of The Donald!!!! ptooey and yuck!

(yeah, like you'll listen to someone named Odat!!!)


At 4:40 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


Discrete. Real discrete. Do you own a "Pass the Dutch" t-shirt?


After what I did to my hair last night, The Donald and The Mist have much in common.

At 5:16 PM, Blogger Irish Church Lady :) said...

I have had many nicknames - the most hurtful of my childhood was Stinkbomb, apparently I had a predisposition for flatulence. In my adult career I've been called Puddin' and Princess. Apparently I'm self centered like WanderingGirl. That is why I chose my own blog nickname, even if it is based in truth.

At 5:23 PM, Blogger Nihilistic said...

I love nicknames...I love giving them out...A friend of mine and I in college used to give nicknames to all the people in our class...based on various things...Some include:

Scoot Mouse
S.S. Comb
Sucker Teeth

The list goes on...

At 5:35 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


Nobody calls me Puddin'. Although, I am rather fond of tapioca.


I like your friend. What was your nickname? I couldn't help but notice that you didn't mention...

At 6:27 PM, Blogger C said...

One of my nicknames centered on my hands - my mom called them fart hands because my touch is so light and soft. The other rather embarrassing because as a baby I had many bowel movements, my mom called me shitter. But since our primary language is Spanish the word for it was less revolting than it sounds in English.

At 6:29 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


Everything sounds better in Spanish.

At 7:58 PM, Blogger BionicBuddha said...

Everyone should have spanish nicknames...los huevos!

At 8:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah Matt, better a real 0 than an artificial one.

At 8:34 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


Como se dice "Bionic Buddha" en espanol?

Thanks for coming by.


Down boy.

At 7:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why The Mist and not The Wind or The Grace or The Great Gymnast in a Letter Jacket First Edition? There must be some insight here.

At 5:23 PM, Blogger Nihilistic said...

My nickname was her nickname is also has a long tedious story behind it...

At 6:32 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


The Wind leaves the door wide open for a lot of teasing. Sometimes, I pass The Wind.

The Grace just isn't true.

The Great, well there were better.

I am simply The Missed One.

At 6:33 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


Hey, I have a B.O.B. in my life too.

At 8:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

nihilist, Sir
You may be a Bob, but She is a Bob Bob where each Bob carries a spare 'o'. Makes telling you apart in the dark a snap.

Nothing personal, you understand, but it's a phermone thing. Heady stuff. So, to me, she became The "1", totally unambigous.

At 9:03 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


B.O.B. is my Battery Operated Boyfriend.

At 7:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

B.O.O.B. is boob! Upon inspection, there is braille located on the rim around the nipple that when translated says, "suck here".

You have two. Which do you prefer be worshiped first? I just hate ambiguity.

At 9:55 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


I think EOE laws require that you worship both the right and the left.

At 8:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Mist-ress, thank you for thise bounty you have laid before me........

At 10:02 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


When did we start talking about booty? The last I knew, we were talking about booby.

At 11:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

booby! As in booylicious?! knit one perl two boobies boobies woo hoo!

Just a little spontaneous appreciation

At 11:11 PM, Blogger mist1 said...


Spontaeous appreciation is good. Premature appreciation is bad.

At 11:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

we got timin'
a tic a tic a tic a tic a timin'
timin' timin' timin' timin' timin'
timin' is the thing, to do
it's timing for me
n you

Here it comes, another true confession.
You make me sing.

At 5:26 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


If I could only make you clean. My desk is a mess.

At 5:26 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


And the crisper drawer in the fridge is repulsive. If you could tackle that when you've finished with my desk.


At 9:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You need a wife, leave the crisper drawer to me.

true confessions: I am laughing my ass off

At 5:14 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


My mom hired a wife once. When she walked out on her, Dad had a good chuckle.

At 6:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

im extreamly short for my age 13
i have forest green eyes
mouth filled with braces
and i am a GYMNAST

At 8:55 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


Sounds just like me...a long, long time ago.

At 5:25 AM, Anonymous twila said...

The Mist reminds me of a Stephen King short it. New nightmare fodder for you...:)

At 10:00 AM, Blogger mist1 said...


Now that you mention it, I think I have read it. Back when I used to read. Before blogging.


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"All of this happened, more or less." - Kurt Vonnegut

Name: Mist1
Location: Dirty South, USA

Yes, it is about me. Thanks for noticing.


123 Valerie Strikes Again
A Day in the Life
A Day in the Wind
Ali Thinks
Allan Thinks
Animal Mind
A View From The Watter's Edge
BNR - Blog Name Removed
Briliant Donkey
Burnett's Urban Etiquette
Burt Reynolds' Mustache
Cardiac Fantasies
Carnival of the Mundane
Curiosity Killer
Dallas Dysfunction
Dan's Blah Blah Blog
Disgruntled Workforce
DKY Bar and Grill
Exorcise My Devils
Fantasy and Sci-Fi Lovin' Blog
Fresh Air Lover
Guilty With An Explanation
How to go Insane
I Am Woman, See Me Blog!
Intelligent Humor
It's Go Time!
It's No Picknick!
Jester Tunes
Jen (and Andrew)
Just Tug
Ketchup With My Fries, Please
Liner Notes
Little White Liar
Maiden New York
Mayren Abashed
Meloncutter Musings
Mindy Does Minneapolis
Miss Britt
Much Ado about sumthin!
Muffin 53
Pointless Banter
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Q's Corner
Random Moments
Sanity Optional
Single Life As I Know It
Secret Suburban Misfit
Southern Circle of Hell
The Assimilated Negro
The Death of Retail Price
The Dragon: 050376
The Morning Meeting
The Post College Years
The Wonderful World of Nothing Worthwhile
Tiny Voices in My Head


I'm a Lumberjack
Diet Plan
Must Not Sleep
Spinach & My Russian Lover
I Prefer to Live Alone
Meat Market
In b.e.d. with a Little Man
My Brother Vinnie
I'm No Dummy



Header image photo by Alison.

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