Double A's
I love shopping in adult novelty stores. I have so many questions. I always ask for help. I try not to ask the creepy guy with his hand in his pocket that is usually standing next to me.I also like to give unsolicited testimonials. I told the guys looking at stretchy rubber cockrings that while they were a lot of fun, they should use caution to not fall asleep with one on. I told them that I know from first hand experience. They looked at me strangely. I explained, "well not first hand, but I was there. Just trust me on this one. You want to remember to take it off." They tried to ignore me, so I continued. I gave them details about what it would look like in the morning in the event that they forgot about it. When one guy's face went pale, I told him that it was exactly the same color his penis would be in the morning if he slept with it on. They didn't thank me for my expert product review, but I understand. Some people have hang-ups about stuff like that.
Last night, I found a new item. The Vibrating Panty. I am sure that this invention has been around for a while, but it was on the top shelf. The one that I cannot reach. So, I have lived all this time without a single pair of vibrating panties. I have wasted so much time.
I went to the cashier and politely asked, "excuse me, could you get those panties down for me?" They were a pretty teal and had a butterfly on them. When I clarified my request she pulled them back up and got another girl to get a pair of vibrating panties off the shelf for me.
According to the package, they are very discrete. There is no tell-tale buzzing noise. You can wear them anywhere (except in water or thunderstorms). The higher end model had a wireless remote control (battery included). The panties required only two AA batteries for the inconspicuous battery pack.
"Where do you put the battery pack so that it's inconspicuous?" I asked.
The sales associate responded with a gesture. No words were necessary.
I bought a pair. The package says "one size fits all." I'll be the judge of that.
Mist 1
Posted by Mist1 @ 6:47 AM
80 Comments:
Well just be careful. You certainly wouldn't want your neighbor to find those on the front porch some morning. ;)
Kristyn
kristyn,
I appreciate the concern, but these have a little remote. It looks like the kind that sets off my car alarm. If I loose them, I can just make them chirp.
I think it was on a TV show once where someone was "buzzing" someone durring an interview or something. After the interview, the chick said "I dont know whos doing that, but do me a favor and leave it by the coffee machine." The ones Ive seen around here are like $100. Too damn much...
jessie,
$24.99, well worth it. Perhaps I should go into business re-selling these to people in your area.
Hopefully the buzzing is as quiet as they say it is. Nothing like getting something home and finding out the statements about it weren't exactly true...
;-)
michael,
Purrs like a kitten. Only with no shedding.
I'll never be able to look at those freak who get on the tube and grin the whole time in the same way...I'll keep wondering are they wearing them?
I suspect the odds of you getting into an accident and having your clothes scissored off by EMS workers in front of large crowd goes up tenfold if you wear something like that.
Do you know what I saw? A vibrating condom! It uses itty bitty watch batteries...the ring vibrates...The package doesn't not show where the battery goes, so I assume it just hangs there...with the other things...
So you got bored with setting your cell phone on vibrate and calling yourself while sitting on it?
Sorry I'm a day late and a dollar short on your last post. It was worth the late fee.
Wait, what? A cockring? People actually use them, still?
Last time I was in a sex store I bought amyl-nitrate to heighten my sexaul climax which was all good and tandy until I sniffed so much I almost erupted into foutain of semen. Suffice to say, I haven't been back to a sex shop since.
shadow,
I am pretty sure that everyone is wearing them. But, I'm paranoid.
matt,
Sweet. That sounds like my kind of first date.
nihilistic,
What?! I must know more about this product. How can I give unsolicited expert testimonials, if I am uninformed?
icl,
I will never bore of that. Never. Ever. Do you hear me? Never.
Thanks for the late fee. I will put that in the jar on my kitchen counter that says, "Bail $$"
orhan,
I think I saw the movie, "Fountain of Seamen." The one where you were dressed up as a sailor. You were totally hot in it.
But are they washable??? or do you have to get them "dry" cleaned?????
;-)
Peace
WE WANT PICTURES OF YOU IN THE PANTIES!!!
odat,
Damn. I didn't read the fine print.
anon,
We believe that you already have some. Enjoy.
I too love adult novelty stores although I tend to gravitate toward the section where the spanking implements and collars are.
drib,
Should have consulted you first. You must have a pair, you have the voice of experience.
karma,
Those were right next to the low voltage nipple clamps.
You're panty drawer must be Something to Behold.
You're panty drawer must be Something to Behold.
I think I need a pair or five, these might help relieve my 2pm headache.
Not a fan of the cockring. Anyway, once the rabbit comes into play the vibrating panties are child's play. Get with it lady.
lee,
For a small cover charge, I will let you spend 2 minutes with my panty drawer.
cinders,
So far I have not had a single headache. I recommend you go shopping.
drib,
Right...
maiden,
Is that anything like the butterfly? Because the butterfly is not that discrete.
OOOHH. I should get some with the remote control for my girl and I could hold the remote. That sounds fun.
nolff,
It's so simple. Girls love panties. Guys love remotes. Everyone's happy.
Funny, there were cock rings just like that in the goody bags at the ball last Friday. My mate's six-year-old found one and asked what it was...
I would be wary of any item that claims to 'fit all', especially where electricity is involved.
GP
Love new product testimonials - Now they need them with GPS so you can just go over the internet, put in the "code" and voila! Cross country O's!!
I need to go shopping...freak everyone at work OUT when I'm happy & not bitching. For that alone, they should be a write off, right?
If you ever get a chance, visit Provincetown, Mass. It's the Disneyland of adult stores. One of them, Toys of Eros, even has its own little vibrator museum. Plus, after you've checked out the high-end vibrators in Toys of Eros, you can walk down the street to Shop Therapy and buy Korean knock-offs at 1/4 the price.
Now don't go gettin' yourself all electrocuted an' shit, hear?
I can't imagine why those prudes didn't want your product evaluations. They must have thought you were an adult Chatty Cathy doll.
Sadly, that is the best offer I've had in years.
Oh boy did you waste your money! After the salesgirl gestured about where to put the batter pack, you should have said "no thanks" to the panties, and purchased only the batteries.
This would have saved quite a bit of money. And this way the batteries never go dry (no pun intended ... or maybe it was intended).
I think we were seperated at birth...Not because I like wearing vibrating panties but because I love to go into those stores and ask questions too... as well as try things on!
vibrating panties! all is right in the world.
puss,
In the States, all six year olds know what cockrings look like.
cheeky,
I am willing to beta test your product. I will also write expert testimonials.
tug,
I will verify with my tax guy, but I don't see a problem with a write-off.
crank,
Why am I always the last to know? I thought I'd been to every theme park in America.
hearts,
I happened to buy an inflatable doll (as a gift, ahem). She didn't talk much.
lee,
Sorry to inform you that the price has gone up.
dan,
As a child, I once put a 9-volt battery in my mouth. I've learned to only put batteries where they belong.
dallas,
See that little scar? The one on my hip? That's where we were attached.
darlene,
Peace, love, and vibrating panties.
Vibrating panties??? Good lord, what will they think of next? :-D
lizza,
I don't know. But I'm going to buy it.
norm,
It is raining out today. Maybe I had better stay in.
If anyone needs me, I'll be in bed with my laptop.
wink wink
From the RSS feed, all I saw at first was "Double A's" ...which of course was quickly and filthly transliterated to be something opposite of Double D's... and so I clicked.
Thanks god for your expertise.
Really? That explains so much...
GP
1
It's a shame that they couldn't put in some sort of collar to hold a dildo, and maybe some sort of reciprocating engine to drive it back and forth at an adjustable speed, set with some sort of rheostat you could hold in your hand, and maybe a nice lubrication system......hmmmm, wouldn't eat your eggs in the morning and drink your coffeem a plus.....on the other hand, it might need more power than two AA batteries tucked away, they'd have to go anyway...
"I try not to ask the creepy guy with his hand in his pocket that is usually standing next to me."
I've noticed that you never make eye contact with me.
Mist1, you sound like a real... pain in the ass.
I was reminded of when I was in my early twenties and was running really low on cash with my girlfriend's birthday coming up. I went back to a sex shop we had visited and bought her a magazine called "Tail Ends," reasoning that her bisexuality would lend itself to visual stimulation.
We laughed for a long time about the Tail Ends "catalog," as she called it.
I was absolutely delighted one day last summer when two young women asked me directions to the local neighborhood sex shop.
It was a refreshing change from the strangers who approach me to ask me if I "want to get high."
"When I clarified my request she pulled them back up and got another girl to get a pair of vibrating panties off the shelf for me"
It took me a couple of reads before this sentence set in - and then....HA HA HA HA HA HA. You crack me up!!!
OH! - I hope the panty-vibrating company official will read your blog and offer you free samples. Wouldn't that be a hoot?
Vibrating...where do I order!
Still, there's something to be said for plain cotton once in a while.
britt,
So far battery life is good.
romerican,
I can bring out the pervert in even the purest of souls.
jali,
I am here to help. I am committed to my community. I expect to be honored with some kind of award for my work. But really, I do it for the people. And the possibility of a Nobel Peace Prize.
puss,
I should work for the Visitor's and Convention Bureau.
0,
They already had that. It was out of my price range. I am waiting until it goes on sale.
nwjr,
In that case, I feel I should apologize for not accepting your kind offer of popcorn in the movie theater the other day. I am so distrustful. Next time, I'll say hi.
matt,
It doesn't go in your ass. Although, I suppose it could. How did the latent bisexuality thing work out?
karmyn,
I giggled a little too.
I have high hopes that the company will send me a case of vibrating panties.
pdom,
Google is your best friend. Well, vibrating panties are your best friend, but Google runs a close second. Okay third, after great shoes...
matt,
Of course. Once in a while. Those tend to be the "Stay 500 Feet Back" panties.
melon,
Many people recognize my twisted/perverted nature. Very few people like it. You are special.
Latent bisexuality? Left me for a large woman. I must have rocks in my head.
Just don't make the panties chirp when you are trying to inconspicously use them at work! :)
Are you going to do a review on the vibrating panty? I'm psyched already.
matt,
I once got left for a large woman. I prefer not to talk about it. Thanks for pouring salt in my wounds.
c,
They're on vibrate, just like my phone.
venge,
When the company pays me, I'll do a product review. I don't do this blog for free. Wait, nevermind.
Sorry Mist1. You should wear that thing backwards tomorrow....
matt,
One step ahead of you.
I accidentally went into a sex shop once. I thought it was a lingerie store. When I got to the back of the store I came face to face with a wall of neon penii. The salesgirl asked me if I wanted to see one, but I told her I had penii for lunch.
I've never heard of a cock ring. I feel gross just typing it. Please don't feel the need to explain things on my account.
Sara
chief,
Penii is my favorite word of the day. Thanks. How am I going to work it into conversation?
1
I was feeling horney one day, so I sent the sheep dog out to round up the really good penii in the neighborhood....
0,
I thought penii was a kind of pasta. I like it with pesto.
You have, by far, the best blog on the net. I'm so amused everyday and anxiously await to see what you'll write about next. Love it!
gissy,
I am blushing. Please go on.
Glad you are amused. I even amuse my self.
Thanks for coming by.
haha I hope they worked out for you
doug,
They have to work out for me. It's not the kind of item that you can return.
Mist1: Don't listen to little Glamourpuss telling you to be careful with electricity. People pay good money for the shocking thrills.
hedgehog,
Am I looking at what I think I'm looking at? Holy crap. That rules out breakfast sausages.
1
LOL, we really must chat
1
I think I blew out the memory, 505 error messages. LMAO, penii interuptii, laughing my ass off, can't breathe
all hope abandon ye who enter here
LOL
0,
At the Olive Garden you can get a bottomless bowl of penii pasta with any kind of sauce you like. $5.99! I went with Grandma. She likes penii too.
anastasia,
Get extra batteries.
1
This post could keep on ticking
Congrats! You managed to keep my attention for a while now with your awesome writing! I'll be checking back for more!
0,
And tickling.
rob,
I can hardly keep my own attention.
Thanks for coming by.
nerd,
Caaannnott ttyyppee noooww. Weeearrring vvvibratttting pannnttiies.
1
ride 'em cowgirl! ye ha.
0,
All new record. Two minutes on the bull.
Yeah, vibrating panties are a relatively new on the scene. They are fun, but when I first tried them, I was semi timid.
Sorry for the dupe comment I just posted.
i picked a vibrator from here..they have some good stuff on sex toys...
vibraters
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