To Do:  1. Get Hobby 2. Floss

Here's what I need to do: 1. Get Hobby, 2. Floss. Blogging just gets in the way.


Monday, October 02, 2006

My Homecoming Date


Thursday morning, I awoke with a small red spot on my cheek. Bubonic Plague, I thought and shrugged it off.

By evening, it was clear that I was growing a second head. I rejoiced. Having two heads would significantly increase my dating potential. Guys are always telling me how much they like head. So, a girl with two heads would be something really special.

On Friday morning, I had an angry red pimple. Centered perfectly on my left cheek. Most people with a pimple of this magnitude stay indoors. It's like being on glandular house arrest. I am not most people.

I looked at my ravaged cheek in the mirror. Elated, I realized that this bout of acne made me look even younger. I looked like a teenager. This pimple could not have had better timing. Homecoming was Friday night. I put on a pair of slightly slutty jeans and too much makeup. I had just enough time before the parade to make a sign that said "Don't Hate Class of '08!"

Technically, I know that I am supposed to remain 100 yards from the high school (due to an unfortunate incident with the band), but with my new pimple, I fit right in.

Mist 1


57 Comments:

At 11:10 PM, Blogger The Naked Nerd said...

Mist with your razor edged wit and personality, I can't picture you on the receiving end of a restraining order. On the other hand razor edged wit and personality just might get you there. ;) In another life we must have been hanging out together and burning one before class. :)

 
At 1:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OH MY GAWD... I love double headers. Are you selling tickets and how much are the cheap seats?

Later Yall......

 
At 1:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh i'm so glad I don't get acne anymore, its like hell is being trapped behind you own face and nothing you can make it stop.

A millions time happier that the 'prom', 'homecoming dance' etc does not exsist over here.

 
At 2:45 AM, Blogger spoon said...

I hate to put holes in your fabulous plan....but isn't it better as a women to give head than get head though???

 
At 4:41 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

nerd,

Can neither confirm nor deny your allegations.

melon,

Do you want to be on the glass? Season tickets?

shadow,

There was no warning. I was completely defenseless.

spoon,

Damn.

 
At 5:14 AM, Blogger NWJR said...

I remember that "band incident". I didn't know anyone could do that with a flute...

 
At 5:25 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

nwjr,

Hey, I remember you from Band Camp!

 
At 5:41 AM, Blogger Avitable said...

It's better than waking up with no head whatsoever.

 
At 5:41 AM, Blogger Irish Church Lady :) said...

Must have been the stress of the new dye job that caused the pimple to erupt.

 
At 5:46 AM, Blogger Fairmaiden327 said...

Sis, I am a huge fan of popping them. How about a soothing blob of toothpaste and then waiting for the morning to hear it snap crackle n pop? Just sayin'

 
At 5:52 AM, Blogger karma lennon said...

Two heads are always better than one. I think Zaphod Beeblebrox proved that.

 
At 6:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How were you proposing the heads should work?

I just ask cos two heads/two minds has got problems built in at route - particularly if she snores.

On the other hand two heads/one mind is just kinda freaky. Like dating a stop-motion animation

 
At 6:08 AM, Blogger Glamourpuss said...

Speaking as an ex-teacher, there is nothing even remotely attractive about teenagers; they are rude, smelly and far too convinced of their own importance. Bring back national service I say (I believe it is known as 'the draft' on your side of the pond).

BTW - gotta ask Mist, was I easy-drinking?

GP

 
At 6:57 AM, Blogger Mindless Dribbler said...

Yeah, this one time in band camp....

So, I take it you're not buying the acne fixer cream stuff?

I'm sure it looks good on you Mist.

 
At 7:12 AM, Anonymous kristynmarie said...

I wonder if the plague is catchable over the net? ;)

Kristyn

 
At 7:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

1
A pair of slutty jeans, a large sign, and thou. Has all the makings of a hit Broadway play. I think there's a role in the cast for spoon too. Maybe something a little Gilbert and Sullivanish....

 
At 8:01 AM, Blogger C. said...

I'm in my 30s and still get zits!! when will it end?? with freakin' menopause???

 
At 8:28 AM, Anonymous Miss Britt said...

RTOFLOL - you kill me. Really you do.

 
At 8:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh man...two heads...

Think of the blow job possibilites... ;)

Steve~

 
At 8:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey, they say two heads are better than one!

 
At 9:15 AM, Blogger Mayren said...

Too many people beat me to the punch.... i was just about to say " And one time at band camp..."
SHeeeeesh people toss me a bone eh? It's not like i'm as witty as Mist here.

My primary was Clarinet

 
At 9:43 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

av,

I wake up alone. No head.

icl,

This one must have been latent for awhile to have such fortitude.

maiden,

I was afraid that I would wake up with my cheek three shades lighter. That's what my toothpaste promises.

karma,

Please don't let me have an accident with my contraception like what happened to ZB's mom.

greg,

Look, I don't know how my first head works. How am I supposed to understand the second? Snoring seems pretty insignificant when we're talking about a two headed broad here. I'm thinking the expense of hair products would be a larger issue.

puss,

I can't get drafted. I just can't.

The wine was lackluster. The aftermath was not pretty. Wore sunglasses indoors.

drib,

I got this stuff that made it dry up and fall off my face. I should have saved it. It looked a bit like the Virgin Mary.

kristyn,

You had better stock up on Alka-Seltzer Cold & Bubonic Plague. They make a great product for TB also.

0,

Do I have to sing and dance?

c,

Flaunt them. Let's never talk about menopause again. I feel hot now.

britt,

I gotta update my feeds. I'm missing your humor.

steven,

Exactly. A two headed girl is like the best homecoming date ever.

miztris,

They say a lot of things, don't They?

mayren,

You gotta get here early if you wanna talk about Band Camp.

I played violin. I didn't have any tricks.

 
At 9:43 AM, Blogger PhoenixHearse said...

Class of '08? My God I'm old.

 
At 9:50 AM, Blogger Nubian Nerd said...

Ah, high school...back then I pretty much tried to bed anything that moved. Now, I just don't limit myself.

 
At 9:52 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

phoenix,

Get a massive pimple. It will make you feel years (not saying how many) younger.

 
At 9:54 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

nubian,

Those were the days.

I, too, have high standards.

 
At 10:16 AM, Blogger Glamourpuss said...

Really? You sound just like my ex...

GP

 
At 10:20 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

puss,

I didn't complain until the morning after...if that counts for anything.

 
At 10:31 AM, Blogger anastasia said...

Now all you have to do is pick at that sucker, make even more red and swollen, then too much make up. Don't forget your big hair!!

 
At 10:35 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

anastasia,

I feel pretty.

 
At 10:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hilarious!

 
At 10:40 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

lee,

That's what I'm good for.

Thanks for coming by.

 
At 12:17 PM, Blogger Nihilistic said...

Did you Pimple have its own set of pom poms??

 
At 2:39 PM, Blogger Glamourpuss said...

As I said, Mist, just like my ex...

GP ;-)

 
At 4:20 PM, Anonymous Odat said...

There's nothing left to say!!! Cept that you LQQK lovely in the pic...nice do! ;-)

Peace

 
At 4:59 PM, Blogger Matt said...

Your story reminds me of the guy in India w/ an exceedingly rare condition who opted to have a second, fully-functioning penis removed.

The doctors, wise men, said, "You sure?"

I dunno. I think I would have kept it!

 
At 5:12 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

nihilistic,

It had it's own float.

puss,

Damn. I wanted to be different.

odat,

Thanks. I spent hours at the salon.

matt,

I hope he had it cryogenically frozen.

 
At 6:28 PM, Blogger C said...

I hear you like the boy with the French horn.

 
At 6:33 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

c,

I'm all about the oboe.

 
At 6:53 PM, Blogger Steph said...

I love a good zit. I like to squeeze em in the mirror and see if i can hit it with the zit juice.

 
At 7:02 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

steph,

You are a poet. That was beautiful.

 
At 8:13 PM, Blogger old lady said...

wow. I'm so offended by this all and I'm still reading and now posting...

 
At 8:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

1
We could drop the play and just re-work it into a float for the Homecoming Parade. No change in costumes.

 
At 9:56 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

kare,

My job here is done. I can rest tonight knowing that I have offended at least one person today.

0,

I love wardrobe changes. I will agree to the float on the condition that I get several changes of outfit.

 
At 10:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

1
You can have as many outfit changes as you can handle. Can I take credit for some of the offending, although I haven't really warmed up yet. Wait a minute while I do my stretching exercises.

 
At 11:06 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

0,

You know, I always thought I'd like team sports. I thought I'd make a good offensive linebacker because I am such a good offensive linesayer.

 
At 11:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

1
You're an amazing linesayer
I noticed that the day I couldn't comment, the crowds roared, and you were fantastic. I need to do that more often. Maybe come in after the second day when eveyone is gone. I'll bet your readship goes up

 
At 5:21 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

0,

I do have good lines. Thanks for noticing. I once dated an artist because he said the same thing.

 
At 9:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

1
I'll bet that only a cherished few have made it up to your hideaway to see your etchings

 
At 5:11 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

0,

There's a cover charge. Dinner usally covers it.

 
At 7:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

1
Excellent, I'll cook

 
At 9:52 PM, Blogger mist1 said...

0,

I was hoping you'd say that.

 
At 8:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

1
Is there anything in particular you'd like for dinner?

 
At 8:46 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

0,

I like red meat. At home I eat it raw. It would be nice to try it cooked. Rare, please.

Please remember that I only eat cute animals.

 
At 6:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

1
You know, I can't get it out of my head "Don't Hate Class of '08" Someday, I want to know that story

 
At 6:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

:-)

Welcome to my world.

 
At 8:04 AM, Blogger mist1 said...

0,

No great story there. Will have to make one up.

ghost,

You have to stay 100 yards away from the high school too? Small world.

Thanks for coming by.

 

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