Inmate #28472442
In the early 90s, I fell in love with a thug. He knew of all the best parties and I look cute in a bulletproof vest. We were meant to be. Also, he wanted to be a rapstar and I totally wanted to be a b*tch. I got my wish. He is still rocking open mic night.We were inseparable. He used to say the sweetest things to me like, "Wait in the car, G" and "hold my heat, Money" I loved it when he talked to me like that. He needed me. We had a partnership. If he said drive faster, I drove faster. If he told me to stash the drugs, I obliged. When he said, "Break yo'sef fool," I broke myself.
The first time he went to prison, I waited for him. I wrote letters and sent him sexy pictures of myself. I waited for his collect phone calls every night. We were like the urban Romeo and Juliette. Except we weren't suicidal.
When he got out, we went on vacation. He said California. I packed my bags. I was thinking Disney. He was thinking Compton. The initiation rites were entertaining and I still have lots of memories of the drive-by shootings.
We were together for years. In that time, I wrote many, many letters scented with my perfume and sold a kidney to pay for all the collect phone calls.
After one release, I decided to show him my world. We took a romantic trip to the mountain home while he was awaiting trial. One night, we took a canoe out onto the lake. He proposed. It was something like this:
#28472442: You know I love you, G.
Mist: True.
#28472442: I got your back and sh*t.
Mist: Fo' sho'.
#28472442: I want to car jack people with you fo' eva. I love you, Lil Homie. Will you marry me?
This is when I realized that I wasn't sure where he'd spend the next 10-30 years. Also, there was no ring. Just a yellow gold chain with a blinged out Uzi pendant. I don't wear yellow gold. I declined.
He beat the rap. I missed the boat. He has a new b*tch. She has "LOVE 4EVA" tattoed on her knuckles. She keeps it real.
Last night he called me. Okay, he didn't mean to call me. His phone was in his pocket and he doesn't understand keyguard. I eavesdropped for a bit. It went something like this:
#28472442: Now I gotta f*ck you up. You f*cked with the wrong muthaf*cka, muthaf*cka.
Much scuffling ensued.
I miss him.
Mist 1
Posted by Mist1 @ 6:19 AM
62 Comments:
He's so eloquent...
claudia,
You see his magic too.
ha. nice. how old were you when you experienced this love/enlightening in your life? Where does he fit in the spectrum of your heart?
i hope you called him back, or texted.
You can't beat a woman with LOVE 4EVA on her knuckles. I mean that literally. Try it and she will kill you! Square-shot fo' sure. Nizzles. And stuff.
Nothing says love like a gold Uzi pendant. After all, Uzis are forever.
You missed out big time. ;)
How sweet.
I bet he loved you like a fat kid loves cake.
t.a.n.
I too young to know any better. I called him back. We're having gin and juice tomorow.
Thanks for coming by.
orhan,
Am regretting not getting that tattoo first.
velvet,
If I only knew that then.
kev,
Yes he did, in that sort of "will you wait for me" way.
Did you return the cute bulletproof vest? It goes so well with a yellow gold Uzi pendant 'n' shit.
Without commenting much on the guy being a thug...at least he took the first step...and proposed...meant he was asking for a commitment...most women shag away from that...
As long as its happy-go-lucky...I am fine...marriage...oh no...
He did the right thing...and moved on....I am glad you did too also...
It really hurt getting thost tats on my knuckles, but my boo is worth it. Right, right.
Back up off him, biatch. I believe this is the second time I've had to threaten to cut you via an Interweb comment.
You don't want a third time, ho.
Imagine how charming he would be if he could of make full sentences....
Come on Mist he was small fry surely your more up market, for the sort of thug that has minions to jack the car for him...and can treat you to some bling
No regrets, Mist. All the best girls spurn yellow gold and all the best guys know that. White-collar crime is where it's at - corporate fraud delivers much better baubles. Trust me.
Puss
(shakes head in disbelief) To think of the opportunities we've missed. (Scuffs ground, turns and walks away)
A man of action and few words is a rarity. So what if he had poor taste in jewelry? ;-D
Umm Mist: That's my ex-boyfriend. I did although tattoo our names on my tailbone. Yeah, oneluv4eva. Oy! That didn't turn out so good.
(wiping a tear from my eye) I enjoy a good love story..
What a charmer! I like yellow gold, but I'm tacky like that.
wow - Bonnie & Clyde....It must have been heartbreaking to turn down a well thought out, romantic proposal like that. Excitement does tire after awhile, tho...It just doesn't seem so sexy when you're 70 years old and you're in a high speed chase.
On some level, I'd really, really, like to know how much of your blogging is biographical and how much is fiction. Either way, yours is among the most entertaining of all the many blogs I cruise daily. The other day I read a bunch of back blogs of yours, and laughed the whole way.
I'm not pulling your chain when I say that you should consider proposing a book to some publishers. Chronicle might be publisher who would look at you, for example.
But sorry, I'm not the publisher for you. I publish only very boring home improvement tomes. But if I did publish essays and humor, I'd have tried to grab you up a long time ago.
You have great talent. Make it work for you.
hearts,
You know I still have the vest. It was a gift. I'm not returning that.
umar,
The only time that I run is when proposed to.
123,
Tell your man to stop calling me or we can take this outside.
shadow,
It's not the size of the fry that matters.
puss,
I was young and naive.
wg,
Careful, don't scuff your shoes. You know how I feel about shoes.
lizza,
I know. I know. I am kicking myself for letting him get away.
maiden,
You can get that covered up, you know.
skittles,
Good, I am thinking of turning this into a romance blog.
babs,
But an uzi? Really? I'm a grenade girl.
darlene,
And where would we retire? You're right. It never would have worked.
mystic,
Need guidance. Will write for food.
You know when you head out for your Gin and Juice date - ummm you might wanna skip the Michael Richards comedy act....
Ah, sigh...true love...it's beautiful.
lost love... tears.
awwww. That is so cute:)
The next time he goes to jail, you can just pretend that he's your pet that you just sent to a kennel. That might make it easier to cope with missing him so much.
Don't blame you on the yellow gold thing...now brass knuckles? I'd cave.
I'm gonna cover it with: Your name here.
Mist:
E-mail me off-blog if you're ever interested in learning a bit about the publishing industry. My own niche in the business is fairly narrow, but I'd be happy to tell you what I do know.
btrandem@creativepub.com
It's the touching, tender, emotional and inspiring love stories like this that keep me coming back to this blog over and over again.
I can barely contain my tears. I haven't cried this much since the last episode of "Extreme Home Makeover".
True story: reminds me of this girl I dated briefly as a college freshmen who was from Detroit. One day she confided in me that the first guy she "fucked" got shot to death.
I hope this isn't a pattern, I said.
Early 90's?? What were you, like 8? lol
I thought I'd done the math, but I am guessing you are older than I thought.
OOOOO Gurl. You so crazy!
Ah, the one that got away...
You are a riot. I love that you refer to him as his inmate #.
*sighs* Young love. And young gangsta love. Who can beat that shit? That's tight.
I hope you kept the crack. Some things are just unreturnable.
cheeky,
Good advice.
karma,
I thought we'd be together forever. Or at least for 10-20 years.
margaret,
I can be really sensitive sometimes.
choo,
It was rather like having a pet. When he would get out, he'd hump my leg. Not to mention that I never did train him to stay off the couch.
tug,
Who couldn't cave for brass knuckles? Especially a His and Hers set.
maiden,
Just when I think I have outclassed you, you go and say something like that.
nwjr,
Was that the episode with the ten children with no limbs that had to share two prosthetic legs between all the siblings? I cried too.
matt,
Seriously, sometimes I am pretty sure we dated.
victoria,
Yes. I was 8. Well 8.5 really. But who's counting?
dallas,
Let me see your knuckles.
bird,
That's how I addressed all the letters. I don't think I can spell his first name.
ctw,
Of course I kept it. It was the only rock he ever gave me.
fringes,
Post Justice is the sequel to Poetic Justice starring 2Pac and Ms. Janet Jackson.
Wait a second, wait a second. Something has been bothering me all day.
How old were you in the early '90s?
You were like, 8. Which, either makes him more of a pimp, or just plain grody.
Sooooorry. Should have read the back comments. Please don't bitch slap me.
That's so sweet! Sometimes it seems like the good ones just get away.
123,
I have a cramp in my b*tch slapping hand.
violet,
He didn't get away. He did his time. Restitution too.
1
I just got a letter from Lawyer Screw M. McSweet saying that #2872442 left you to me since you were underage, along with a full barrel of dill pickles. Prepare yourself.
*sigh* got ta love dem bad boyz wid der low pantz and da chainz.
0,
Unfortunately, my father has already left me to a man in our village for two sheep, one cow, and a sow.
kris,
Hold on, I have to Shizzalate my page to understand your comment.
oh - being young. Didn't we all have to fall in love with the bad boy? - except yours was literal!!!
If he had only gone with white gold rather than yellow gold, y'all would probably still be together......
*sigh*
Hmmmm - I understood all that ... I did not even have to bust out with my ghetto translator. This is a bit disconcerting ... I must be ghetto. Well I did live 5 minutes from InGLewooood California for almost all my life. So really I know 4 languages, English, Spanish, French and Ghetto.
karmyn,
Bad boy would have been better. Delinquent is more accurate.
pissy,
He didn't understand me at all.
c,
Westsiiiiide!
careful he might gank yo' ass. what is gank anyway?
careful he might gank yo' ass. what is gank anyway?
srg,
I can't tell you what gank means because then I might have to gank you. Sorry, it's the gangsta code.
mmm nothin beats a gangsta to make a woman feel ghettofabulous womanly. lol
yasamin,
True dat.
Mist, it's for the best. You would have gotten tired of hitting (excuse me, I meant to say "hittin'") on all his friends just so he could prove how much he loves you.
crank,
I just felt so validated.
*sigh*
Oh my dog.
That is how my Dad started his marriage proposal to my Mum. Should I be worried?
icl,
Does you dad have any identifying marks? Scars, tattoos, etc.
anastasia,
We were so Bonnie and Clyde.
Mine was #178770. I went through three turned off phone numbers from all the collect calls. I wish I was kidding.
cinders,
My phone no longer accepts collect calls. I wish I was kidding too.
thank god you passed on the tatt...
melanie,
I don't know. We could have had something special.
Heartwarming!
maven,
I'm a lover, not a fighter.
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