Mist 1, John 0
Sometimes, I believe in Karma. Usually, when it works in my favor.
Moronda and I went out for a few drinks last night. We staked out the best real estate in the place; the corner of the bar. We could see everyone from there. We scanned the bar for someone to talk about. We were feeling very cute and yet, slightly bitchy. We can be like that. We both can fit in our clothes from high school. Not that we would still wear them, but we could if we wanted to. Hate us now.
My eyes stopped on John. I had a brief fling with John a few years ago. It didn't work out because 1.) he left me for a (slightly) hotter chick, and 2.) I am a little bit crazy. He was with a girl that used to sleep with a friend of mine. A female friend of mine. She told that friend that she thought I was stunning (maybe she didn't use the word stunning, but I can't be sure).
I leaned over and whispered the story in Moronda's ear.
"You've got to do something," she insisted.
I hadn't thought of that. It's good to have friends.
We plotted. John avoided eye contact. We drank. John looked at his watch (sixteen times, if anyone had been counting). We schemed. John chain smoked. We giggled. John got up to answer a phone call. Then, I made my move.
I hit on the girl while he was in the restroom. I work quickly. I explained how I had lost her number and that if she was still interested, Moronda and I would love to "get to know her" a little better. Moronda waved coyly from the corner of the bar. You should see her when she does that move. She's awfully good.
The girl looked surprised at first and then agreed that we looked like waaaaay more fun than John.
"I'm kinda over him anyway," she shrugged.
I gave Moronda the signal, which was something subtle like jumping up and down and waving my hands over my head.
We slung our purses over our shoulders and headed for the door. I looked back and saw John returning to his seat. He looked a little confused. I saw his lighter on the bar. I took it and winked at him.
I sent a text message from the car. It read:
I got your date & your lighter.
It was my third most gratifying moment to date.