I cannot leave the house until my latest injury heals.
I have a mirror outside of my bedroom door. I keep it there so that I can see myself in the morning on my way to the bathroom. I think it's important to start my day with laughter. As I look like the love child of Don King and Scary Spice in the morning, I am always starting my day with laughter. Or in terror.
It is a wonder that I have not yet killed myself with this mirror. It is six feet tall and very heavy. It was eight feet tall, but since I am short, I cut off two feet with a saw. The edge is sharp and unfinished. One day, it will probably fall over on me and cut me neatly in two.
I did not hurt myself on the mirror. I was admiring my shoes when I bent down to rub a smudge off the toe. My eye socket connected directly with the plunger sitting in the hall. The resulting black eye makes me look like I am in a really bad relationship.
I would like to explain why I have a plunger in the hall, sitting next to my mirror. You see, my step ladder is in my closet so that I can reach the shoes on the top shelf. When the light bulb in the hallway burned out, I had an option. Move the heavy ladder, or find another ingenious way to change the light bulb. Naturally, the plunger came to mind.
The plan was simple. I would use the plunger as an extension of my arm. It would effortlessly suction around the light bulb and I would easily replace it with a really expensive, yet energy efficient bulb that I bought at Home Depot. In theory, it was a good plan.
Of course, it didn't work. Of course, I didn't put the plunger away. Now I have this black eye.
If I do leave the house, I plan on telling people that I fell. They will tell me that there are places that I can go for help.
PS: If you haven't read my interview at Slick's place, please follow this link.