I've made a lot of mistakes.
Purple mascara was a mistake. Dating the guy who lived with his mom and sold LSD was fun, but still, a mistake. The time that I tried to raise a flock of ducks in my home was a mistake. Dyeing my hair with black cherry Kool-Aid was a mistake.
It seems that I have learned nothing from my mistakes.
My latest mistake was when I told my sister, "you should blog." Like so many of my ideas, it seemed like a good one at the time. I imagined that we would become a blogging super power. We wouldn't wear capes or tights or anything, but we would be a force in the Blogosphere.
And now it's happened. I got an email from her with the link. I had to sign up for an entirely new service to leave comments on her blog. This should have been a warning. The gravity of the situation didn't hit me until I read her blog.
She knows more about me than most people. She knows my age. She has access to picures of me...pre-braces. She knows where my chest of teen momentos including my 10th grade jounal is stored. She might even know my real hair color.
I find myself wondering if she remembers how kind I was to her when she was a child. I was a doting, loving sister. I never encouraged her to stick her finger into an electrical socket. I never pushed her into a beehive. I never traded her bike to a neighborhood kid for all of his Garbage Pail Kids. Most importantly, I never framed her when Dad found weed on my dresser. I would never have done anything like that. Not even if she told our parents about the $50 that I borrowed from her to get a fake ID.
I would like to take the time to address my sister directly:
El, many people (i.e. Miss Britt) will approach you with offers of money, a lifetime supply of American Spirit cigarettes, a shopping spree at the Salvation Army of your choice, and numerous other irresistable items. They will be convincing. These people are using you. Please, remember that in the event of catastrophe, I am the sole beneficiary of Mom and Dad's tremendous estate (1 Honda Civic, 1 Toyota Camry, 2 cats, and several canned goods without labels). I am not trying to bribe you (am willing to throw in a Coldplay CD), I just want to warn you. I trust that you will make the right decision and never, ever post my seventh grade picture. For what it's worth, one time Mom and I got drunk and she told me that she has always liked you more than she likes me.
I can only hope that my sister will remain strong. Also, I hope that she remembers that I have a cocpy of the video of her African dance performance in which her outfit unraveled.
PS: There will be no link.
Update: Slick has graciously interviewed me on his new blog. There is so much about me that I feel like sharing today.