Rev. Dr. MLKrunk, Jr.
I never get political here, but after MLK day, I can't help it.
Monday night, I wanted to celebrate my civil rights and do that butt shake move that I've almost mastered.
The local black and white radio stations decided to put All Differences Aside and hold a Unity Night at a club. We take MLK day pretty seriously in the South. The man was born here. We know how much he liked to dance and drink and talk to hot chicks. He believed that we should all have to pay the same cover charge, no matter the color of our skin. He didn't approve of the No Sneaker/No Athletic Wear dresscode. He never pimp-slapped anyone in the club because he believed in non-violence. It was only natural that his hometown honored him with drink specials.
Because I am all for unity, I decided to put on my I Had a Wet Dream jeans and celebrate the life of a great man. My jeans were the last thing that went right for the evening.
When I arrived, it felt more like a Malcolm X day celebration. People were trying to get in the door by any means necessary. The bouncer recognized my jeans and let me in. I went straight for the bar and ordered a bi-racial Russian. My designated driver ordered a Trent Latte (equal parts espresso and milk, served separately).
The problem was that the black radio station told their listeners to show up at 7pm. The white radio station told their listeners to show up at 9pm. By the time the white people started to show up, the club was full. The club management, in a display of equality decided to begin charging a cover when all the white people showed up. It didn't go over well.
People of color inside the club felt vindicated. Finally, justice had been served. They taunted the white people outside. After hundreds of years, the winds of oppression had been reversed. It was time for reparations.
Let free clubs ring.