I didn't give anything up for Lent this year. I decided that G*d wants me to do more with my life, not less. There are plenty of things that I could have given up. I could have quit smoking or drinking or bathing, but really, I'm a much more agreeable person when I am doing all of those things.
I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday and she brought up Lent. She's given up caffeine. She could hardly stay awake throughout the conversation. She asked me what I gave up. I told her that I hadn't given up anything. I am all too familiar with the look that she gave me when I said that. It's the look that says You Are Such a Heathen and May You Rot for All Eternity. Rather than explain that I wasn't observing Lent, I clarified, "I mean, I'm not giving up anything besides chocolate." It seemed best to make her think that in years past, I had given up a number of things because I am so devout.
I wasn't sure why I said chocolate. It just came to me. "Mist, you just ate a bag of chocolate covered almonds." Crap. I guess that's why chocolate came to mind.
"Those are heart healthy chocolates and I don't mean that kind of chocolate," I said. She looked puzzled. I explained that I had given up black men. Really, it's pretty logical. No Sexual Brown Chocolate until Memorial Day or whenever Lent is over. I think it makes quite a statement to give up seeing black men until the day when I can start wearing my white shoes.
She looked at me to see if I was telling the truth. Feeling pressured, I continued, "I'm not messing with anything brown at all. Not even UPS. I am strictly FedEx for awhile."
"DHL is pretty good too," she said.