Miles to Go Before I...
Last year, I bought a pedometer. I have some obsessive compulsive behaviors, so technically, I probably should have consulted my shrink before I made the purchase.
I programmed all the settings. I counted and measured my steps. I even input my weight honestly. This was a new relationship and I wanted to start it right. I wanted it to trust me. I didn't want to flip open the top to see how many steps I had taken and for it to tell me that I had taken 10,000 aerobic steps just to make me feel good about myself.
I found that the best place for my pedometer was tucked neatly into the waist of my panties and not to the waist band of my pants as suggested on the informational insert. The vibrating pedometer is another one of my fabulous inventions that I haven't gotten around to making.
From my home, there are 16 bars within walking distance. It turns out that it is about a three mile walk to go to each of these bars and home again. My love for fitness returned with this discovery.
It wasn't long before I had decided to see just how many steps I could take in a day. Somewhere around 22,000, I decided to see if I could walk so far that I reset the counter. I walked until my feet blistered. The sun went down and I got thirsty. I had made several laps around my neighborhood bars. It was time to close out my tabs. Total steps: 67,481.
As I sat at the bar, I continued to fidget. Surely, my pedometer would track my fidgeting. Unfortunately, pedometers don't work that way. They know when you are cheating the system, and when you are cheating the system, you are only cheating yourself.
After that day, I put the pedometer away. I had abused it's power. It sat, tucked away in a little box on my dresser for nearly a year.
Last night, I rediscovered it. I feel like I appreciate it now. I have matured. I will not put it on a pedestal or on a treadmill.
Still, I wonder, if I wear it while having sex, will it tell me how many calories I am burning? And, what will I clip it to?