I know two women that live in a little two bedroom, 1.5 bathroom apartment. They have three big dogs, a cat, a rat, a beta fish, fruit flies, and several house plants.
This is too many living things in a cozy apartment. I suppose it's a good thing that they have so many plants. Otherwise, there probably wouldn't be enough oxygen to support all of those life forms. I hate going to their home. The conversation goes something like this; "So, LEAVE THE FISH ALONE how's your lust affair GET DOWN DAMMIT with that NOT ON THE F*CKING RUG internet boy?" I want to explain that he is a man and not a boy, but when I see people (or animals) puking, I can't help it, I puke too. "NO MIST NO! NOT ON THE F*CKING RUG!" Shamed, I go home.
I have noticed that every time I go to visit them, there is a little plastic bag of dog crap at the front door. They're front door appears normal in every other way. They have wind chimes, and a little monkey figurine, and a cute welcome mat that reads: Caution: Dog Can't Hold its Licker. I like that. I want a mat that reads: Caution: B*tch Can Hold Her Liquor.
I called Mom this morning to talk about shoes and her neighbor's fat cat. Naturally, talking about her neighbor's cat segued into talking about the little bags of dog poo at my friend's front door. "How long do they leave it there?" It's hard for me to believe that this was what Mom wanted to know. There were a number of other responses that I expected from her.
Now I am curious. I have been thinking of how I can find out without sending a sample to an independent lab for testing. Then, I thought about a time when I was parked in a lot indicating that I could only park there for an hour. When I returned to my car, there was a little yellow chalk mark on my tire.
I am going to have to buy some chalk. And maybe some rubber gloves and a face mask.