I have a date with 150 men. I wish that I could say that I was doing this for a charitable cause, but I am not a charitable person. I am doing it so that I have something to blog about.
Naturally, I needed to prepare for my big night by spending a day in the spa.
I had my eyebrows groomed and my hair dyed a color that can be best described as redruM. Finally, I had a session with Courtney.
Courtney is an aspiring actor; in his spare time, he rubs naked ladies down with salt and oil. He wears little shorts in the vichy shower. I love little shorts. He is the only man that I get naked for and do not go through his pockets after we are finished. I even tip him. I gave Courtney the details of my upcoming evening. He told me that he has had that kind of night before and recommended some films to watch in preparation. He's such a pretty boy; I'm sure all the boys love him.
Courtney talked me into a new body treatment that is supposed to miraculously take care of all my problem areas. For the record, my biggest problem area is my kitchen sink, everything else is mostly under control. I am not sure how a rubbing my a$$ with currant extract is going to fix the sink, but I am willing to try anything. I signed the release forms and Courtney went to get the Crackling Body Mousse with Currant Extract. I don't worry about release forms at the spa because the first thing they do when I walk in the door is pour me a glass of champagne. After a few glasses, I do not trouble myself with the fine print.
Crackling Body Mousse is a strange thing. It foams up and sounds like a bowl of Rice Krispies upon contact with skin. Courtney smoothed it over my butt cheeks. The sensation was a bit like placing ice cold Pop Rocks in my a$$ crack. Not that I have ever done that...yet. I really like Pop Rocks.
My butt is perfectly soft and supple now, albeit a little numb. Courtney and I apparently have the same idea about dating 150 men.
Details of my date with 150 men (did I mention that they are firefighters?) to follow...